Am I over reacting? Not speaking to husband

[Zaina245]

So me and my husband have been married for 10 years and have 3 children.
my husband is Pakistani and I am English. I get on well with my husbands family, my brother in law got married in Pakistan in April and his new wife is slightly odd. Makes a lot of effort with my husbands sister not me. I just have a very different relationship with my sister in law, whether that is because it’s been 10 years and she’s done a lot for me, or whether it’s because my sister in law has never lived outside or travelled outside of Pakistan before I don’t know. I’ve been receiving comments from her for the last 6 months that are weird and make me feel uncomfortable and not respected as I’ve been in the family for so long and always had a good relationship with them, his brother I have never really had an issue with him apart from he’s quite lazy with his wife and lets her just say what ever she wants even if it is wrong.

so today we was having a family gathering at my husbands cousins house, and all of us where there, me my husband and our children, sister in law brother in law and their kids, brother in law and sister in law, mil and his cousin and her husband and their kids.

my husbands cousin mentioned to my new sister in law that she liked her outfit, to which my mother in law replied that “ zaina has the same dress” my husbands cousin said “ oh isn’t zainas colour slightly different “ and mil said no it’s the same,

my brother in law then turned around and said “ they are the same dresses but different sizes”

my husbands sister looked at me, and must have known I would have got upset like this, my new sister in law is very thin and I have only just had a baby( my 3rd child) a year ago last October.

a room full of people and no one even my husband said nothing, no one told him that this comment was unnecessary. I have suffered with an eating disorder in the past which all the family know about and my brother in law still chose to make this comment and even my husband stayed silent. I’m quite a shy person.

when we got in the car I started arguing with my husband for staying quiet and not saying anything and I got upset and started crying as I’ve tried for 10 years to prove my self just to even earn a little bit of respect from them only for him and his wife to be saying stuff like this constantly in front of a room full of people.

am I over reacting? I’m not ignoring my husband because I’m absolutely fed up of this and the comments now not just his new wife is making to me but also him. Aibu? How would you deal with it

just to add, I’m not necessarily big I am a size 12/14 and have just had a baby 12 months ago but obviously not an 6/8 like his wife.

I think you're overreacting and giving people the silent treatment is pretty immature.

I agree it's an overreaction.

An over reaction even though I have suffered with anorexia in the past and people are making comments about my size ?

I think it was a vile unnecessary comment personally and I would feel upset if no-one defended me

What did you want him to do?

It was a rude comment. I am sure everyone is very embarrassed by his behaviour. If your husband doesn't want to say anything then you could of course call it out yourself.

Complete over reaction, people come in different sizes and so do their dresses

To stand up for me for a change? To tell his brother it was an unnecessary comment?considering my husband knows I have problems with eating and had anorexia in the past that have been triggered by other comments HIS family have made to me previously ?

It was a nasty comment. I would have said something rather than expect DH to do it. Size is so sensitive, he could have easily said something as rude as your BIL.

What do you mean by "he's lazy with his wife and lets her say whatever she wants"?

He just commented that the dresses were the same but different sizes.
It's a fact. How is this nasty?
Sorry, but I think you're being over sensitive.

Sounds like there has been a steady stream of comments.

This. Speak up.

Yes I'm interested in this too

Why does he need to point out they are difference sizes? It's obvious what that means.

It was rude and unnecessary OP. I would have been hurt too x

I think you’re overreacting. For someone to have made a scene at the time ahout this would have embarrassed me more. Saying the dresses are different sizes is a fact, and one you shouldn’t be upset by. Making a big deal about this comment makes it uncomfortable for everyone. It’s not a comment most people would make but I think it’s more a little clumsy than being offensive.

People are different sizes. Your issue with this is your issue sadly. Obviously your husband should support you but there’s no reason he can’t do that quietly eg checking in on you and talking about it later.

Dragging his family over coals for stating something obvious would be disproportionate.

Pleasencontinue to get help for your ED/dysmoprhia. Nothing whatsoever wrong with your size and you are not lesser than the other person in a size 8 dress.

How is it over sensitive when I started with anorexia and a full flown eating disorder because of comments my husbands mother made to me many years ago and I still suffer with this to this day ?
Was their any need for him to comment that our dress sizes are different ?

I am reminded of how skinny she is every time I see her, I don’t need people to make me feel even worse about myself and my size by purposely pointing out our sizes are different. As I said, I have just had a baby and they all know I suffer with disordered eating, would you point out someone’s dress sizes when you know they suffer with disordered eating ?

It was rude but you're a grown up - why is sticking up for yourself not an option for you?

Just a quick "nice, I would like to see what you look like after having three children" would have put him in his place.

I think describing a man as 'lazy with his wife and lets her say anything' is unacceptable. You sound as if you are sensitive to your own feelings but not very nice about other people, particularly women.

Ask your husband if you are allowed to pull your BIL up about the comment he made.

their Family is very traditional. If I said the things to his wife that he lets her say and do to me, I would have been pushed out this family a long time ago. Don’t comment on what you do not understand.

Do you really believe it is a man's job to control what women are and are not allowed to say?

You obviously have never lived in a traditional Pakistani family or know any