To find this horrendously unattractive

[TheSleepiestOne]

DP is a bit of an Elevenarife and either it’s getting worse or I’m just losing the patience to deal with it. I’ve been bent over double for two days with vomiting and a headache but somehow been able to run around after a toddler with an infant strapped to my chest. Still breastfeeding even though I’ve not eaten in over 48 hours. DP is off today. “Brilliant”, I think, “some help with the children and a chance to get some rest!”

No such luck. DP has been staggering around, huffing and puffing about stomach cramps. Logical, you might think. If one of us is ill it’s likely the other will catch it. Not quite. My symptoms are an adverse reaction to anaesthetic.

Thinking back, I don’t think I’ve ever had an illness or injury where DP hasn’t instantly had the same or worse. I actually can’t remember a single occasion.

So now Mrs Muggins is off to the park with the dog and children so they don’t have to stay in the dark house where all the curtains have been drawn to aid the banishment of the phantom cramps.

YABU - have a bit of empathy, the man’s clearly unwell

YANBU - this is off putting

This. The bar is so low for some women it's utterly depressing

Another one here, milking day 2 flue jab side effects, so waiting for me to sort dinner out. Fit enough to have been to work and for a run.

OP, when yours is restored to good health, can you come down with exclusively women’s problems like period cramps and let us know how he trumps that?

Why do so many men do this? I've started taking the piss out of mine now for doing this. If I have a headache, he develops one, same for other ailments like sore throat, nausea etc. it's so predictable

My dh does this and it's so literal it's bizarre. Like if I said my left elbow had a shooting pain he'd be like 'yeah me too'. I now challenge it head on. He's quite nice when I'm ill though, so not quite the same thing. Hope you get some rest op.

Good point.
My ex did this - competitive sickness.
So unfair and deeply unattractive.

I think you're being harsh, maybe his period pains are just really bad this month.

Bloody hell, OP, if he is lying about having D&V after you have had surgery, he's a sick, attention-seeking fuck.

He needs a serious talking-to.

Deeply unattractive behaviour.

My dad has just cared for Mum for two years. Took her to appointments, helped her up and down stairs, cooked for her, drove her everywhere, gave her all her medication, went to the pharmacy for her, loved her. For two years.

That's love.

Your h is a complete twat.

I've been disabled for many years with a severe spinal problem, but I always try to make the best of it, and rarely complain or make a fuss. However, my DH then developed a back problem about 5 years ago, and was clearly trying to find a way of getting attention, but without actually saying that his pain was worse than mine. So every time he was in pain, he grunted really loudly as he walked around. I got really fed up with this awful grunting with every footstep, as it was clearly unnecessary, so I started taking the piss, making loud exaggerated grunting noises, every time he walked past. Initially he looked at me as if he was angry that I was taking the mic, so I just said "sorry darling, just trying to make you laugh, so that it doesn't get you down". Having said that, he couldn't really say that I was being nasty, so now if he grunts I start taking the mic, and it soon stops. I think he knows that he's pushing his luck, as my situation is MUCH worse than his, and I do give him sympathy when I know he's genuinely suffering, but I can't be arsed with people who like to wallow, and he knows it's no good complaining of pain, if he hasn't taken anything for it, as I have no patience whatsoever, for people who moan but won't do anything to help themselves. So what I'd like to know, is WHY these men feel they have to make such a drama out of being poorly, when we women just get on with it?

I've got a family member like this. I think it's hilarious. I've made up illnesses a few times just to see if they catch it, they always do. I don't have to live with them though, couldn't cope with it from a partner!

😂

Massively unattractive.

Wtf?! What a dickhead 😂😂

I also think that by taking out the kids today you have rewarded your OH and reinforced to him that when ur ill you’re not really that bad.

Is his mum living anywhere nearby? Would be good if you could send him back there to “recuperate”, since you have enough children to mind already. Good luck, he sounds like a real piece of work!

@TheSleepiestOne Make a chocolate cupcake just for him and put craploads of laxatives in it.

I'd find this impossible to live with. If I have a vomiting bug my low blood pressure (100/60) drops even more due to not eating, even if it's only for 24 hours and it makes me feel dizzy and faint to the point where I can't even walk around the house. He has no excuse to behave like that. My partner looked after our 4 year old and 3 month old for all 3 of his days off by himself without one complaint last time I was unwell. This included all night wake ups. It is possible for men to be decent and not take the P. Please tell me your going to give him a major wake up call!

Urgh so unattractive OP.

How deeply unfair to you. When you're feeling better, please bring this up with him. If not, resentment may settle in.

In one week:

DH has been to the optician because his eye hurt. Strangely it didn't hurt since the optician said he had nothing. He's booked an appointment with a specialist doctor because he has "trouble breathing" - blow your fucking nose🙄.. I'm just waiting for next emergency. I have been taking paracetamol for 3 days for a headache but noone is the wiser. We women just get on with it.

Also, OP should do this to him if she is mostly certain he’s over egging his symptoms - one wknd take to your bed and declare you are are feeling really ill and he’ll have to take care of the kids despite his sore throat. Having a ‘bad cold’ doesn’t absolve you from parenting duties etc, he’ll just have to power through it Like he expects you to.

My dad does this. He has always done it to my mum but I noticed that when my brother and I got older he did it to us too! I moved out years ago but it would drive me round the twist, if I had a headache he had one too, if I felt under the weather he did too. It’s making me rage just thinking about it.

Remember OP, when he pretends to be sick, he is lying as well.

He is a liar.
Never ever trust a liar.
They are never to be trusted.
This is a huge personality flaw and I really do hope you take this all very seriously.

Keep family and friends close.
You are going to need them.
Take care.

I love this thread. The dressing gown of doom and the ill voice did it for me. I was in stitches all afternoon trying not to laugh alone as I was walking down the street. Weirdo and all that...
I pulled my husband up on this for the first time after reading this thread yesterday. He was most annoyed. It was satisfying. He denies doing this two minutes after telling him my back was playing up again so I am starting pilates on Friday after finishing physio. Ohhhh his legs, ohhhh his back. Much worse than my mum who was left disabled after being run over and then had cancer on top, because of course, she was so much older when it happened. Erm, no, she was 2 years younger than you are now...

Is there a Twelverife?

"Unattractive" is not quite nailing it is it?

You're talking about him as if he's wearing the wrong socks or has had a dodgy haircut.

It's utterly disgraceful behaviour from an adult man.
Why is he 'competing' with your illness?

Raise the bar and either he changes his behaviour or leave and set yourself free.