To keep him away from kids’ events?

[Brightspark3]

Inspired by another thread. My ex boyfriend started seeing someone just after we finished. We have 2 kids together and he won’t go anywhere without his now wife. So he doesn’t come to school plays, religious events or anything. He wanted to see my son on the first day of school 2 years later but I said no because I knew he would rock up with her. Aibu to just not tell him when anything is so that he can’t bring her too? He showed up once at a sports event and brought her. I couldn’t cope seeing her and I never want to see her again.

Why can't you be a grown up and deal with seeing her? He didn't have an affair presumably and it's been literal years! Time to grow up a bit.

I think you should start putting your child first and let him attend the events even if it's with her, because it's what is best for your child. You are lucky he even does what you say

So he can never see his DC because you can't cope with seeing her ??

Your poor DC

Unless there is a huge backstory you are being spectacularly unreasonable

She's his wife, you're being ridiculous

So you're happy for your dc to be upset and miss things with their dad because of petty jealousy?!
Appalling.

You don't have to be anywhere near them at these things, and it would probably mean the world to your kids to have both parents there.

You are being very unreasonable.

your ex has married this woman. She is his wife and has every right to be included in his son’s life.

women like you give other women a bad name and the crazy ex title which seems well deserved here.

what happens if one day you move on and end up marrying someone. Are you never going to let that man come to anything to do with your son?

complete double standards and the only person you’re hurting here is your son.

Because he puts his wife and their kids before mine all the time and then wants to rock up to events when it suits to look like the big family man he never was

You need to grow up OP. Your children have 2 parents, they need you both to act like it, not for their mum to be acting like a spoilt child herself deliberately excluding their dad from being present at their events.

He is their father you are being ridiculous if I was him I would just show up you don't own ypur children they are not possessions

What on earth have I just read?! You are deliberately excluding your son's father from his life because you "can't cope" with the existence of his wife? How utterly pathetic and breathtakingly selfish. The person you are hurting the most is your son. You had better learn how to "cope with seeing her", fast. She's not going to disappear in a puff of smoke, and you don't own your son.

Agreed.

I honestly can't believe he agrees to your demands he has just as much right to be at these events.

All you're doing is putting yourself before your child.

It makes me feel stupid. He vowed to never marry (wouldn’t marry me) and was out every night of the week when he was with me. Now he’s a perfect husband and doting dad. I’m not jealous at all, good luck to her (she’ll need it!!!) but it does make me feel stupid there on my own and him standing like the cat who got the cream

He should have his own relationship with their school and find out when things are taking place and he can go to anything he likes. You don’t suggest that isn’t the case so he’s presumably stopped trying so you don’t kick off and upset the kids.

Are you upset he’s married her after not marrying you? Why are you still so upset years down the line?

Edited as I see that is the problem.

So when he tries to be involved your response is to push him away because you can't abide having his wife anywhere near you?

He does but the letters etc all come to me. I’ve said before he can go to things but she can’t and he said no it’s his wife and they come as a package.

Get therapy and stop screwing up your son's childhood.

It's not about you though, it's about your child. Stop being selfish

You say you're not jealous but the jealousy is leaping off the page.

Don't you want your son to have a stepmum who shows up for him?

It's not about you it is about your children having their father at events you sound 12 and you need to grow up for your children's sake you chose to have them, so think about them not yourself

It’s not jealousy. To be fair she is very glamorous and I don’t know wtf she sees in my ex, it’s more the feeling like shit and everyone noticing the difference.

MN is so weird sometimes. So many double standards. Why can he not go on his own to anything to do with the kids?

It's not your decision! Once again, time to grow up?

You need to grow up! She’s his wife. All you are going to do is create a divide and your kids will learn all about this behaviour of yours one day- and they won’t like it. Mum keeping dad away because she’s jealous of his wife isn’t a good look for anyone, your kids aren’t going to thank you for this.

Some couples are just a better fit than others. You don’t need to wish her luck, they’ve been together years and seem to be happy.

You must know it’s hypocritical to accuse him of not caring about your shared kids while actively excluding him from a big part of their lives.

It’s a shame you don’t feel he was a good boyfriend but he’s allowed to move on, to marry someone, to have more children. As are you if you’d ever like to.