To keep him away from kids’ events?

[Brightspark3]

Inspired by another thread. My ex boyfriend started seeing someone just after we finished. We have 2 kids together and he won’t go anywhere without his now wife. So he doesn’t come to school plays, religious events or anything. He wanted to see my son on the first day of school 2 years later but I said no because I knew he would rock up with her. Aibu to just not tell him when anything is so that he can’t bring her too? He showed up once at a sports event and brought her. I couldn’t cope seeing her and I never want to see her again.

We've only got the word of an alienating parent for that. She is their stepmother. They need to build up a relationship with her and their half-siblings. It's not up to her to dictate.

Why do they have to have her there all of the time though. That will just cause resentment

Why doesn’t he want to spend time just with his children from his relationship with op

Wowser. I can't quite believe what I've read here. OP I get it, I had an ex who never wanted to marry, never wanted kids etc, then went off and had an affair, six months later she's having his baby and 12 years later they have two kids together. It stung, definitely, but I went on to meet the man I eventually married less than 2 months after he left and we now have kids. It stings that you're not 'the one' but he wasn't yours either - you still have to find that one. However, you need to stop this shit - you are going to end up with severely damaged children otherwise and when they can think for themselves they will turn on you. This is not about you as everyone has said but your jealousy and feelings of inadequacy are going to cause your children mental harm - don't do that to them. You're trying to control him on the only way you can by way of revenge and you need to knock it off and be the bigger person. This is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies, the only ones who suffer are you and your kids.

I'm sure on their weekends together they spend time together.

OP's husband probably doesn't want to spend time with her without his support network, because she's controlling and aggressive.