To be annoyed I’m not in partners will????

[YourRealBiscuit]

Backstory
we’ve been together almost 14 years. We’ve got children. Not married. His house we have lived in. He’s 60 I’m 50.

Am I being unreasonable that I’m annoyed now he’s doing his will his intention is to leave everything to the kids?
We have a decade age gap and I can’t help wondering what would happen to me of he died before me?
he sees it as his stuff so he leaves to who he wants to but I think it’s a huge red flag coupled with the fact obviously he’s not popped the question too

feels to me like he doesn’t really see us as an US?

what do you think?

Are the children his or joint?

Our children

I can't believe you've had to ask. Move out and set yourself up.

Ooof. That doesn’t seem very thoughtful of him. How odd.

I think that’s totally unreasonable. I would either push to get married or separate now so you can start to build your own life and finances.

I can’t help wondering what would happen to me of he died before me?

This is a conversation most committed adults have, why have you not?

I think you’re right that he’s made it loud and clear it’s not an ‘Us’ team situation.

what assets do you have? Savings? I’d be pushing myself to get on the property ladder if I were you and you don’t yet own.

Is his concern that if he dies, you'll end up with someone else and perhaps not leave his assets to the children?

Have you had the discussion with him ie ‘given you will likely die many years before me, where do you think I’ll live given I will have to sell the house?’.

Why aren’t you married? Must be some backstory there given length of time and that you’ve had children.

If he’s got a lot of assets which were his pre-marriage and he’d rather give them to the kids… I think this is fine in principle if it’s not leaving you skint, but there must be some accommodations made re: the house which mean you won’t be left in an awkward position when he (most likely) dies before you.

What is your financial position OP?

I think you need to start making plans ASAP or as you rightly assume you'll be screwed if he dies.

Oh dear. He intends to leave you with nothing and because you aren't married you have no rights. Can you prove any financial contribution or ownership of any assets? You had better get some legal advice quick. How old are the children?

It’s bizarre. How does he expect you to live? Being unmarried you won’t have many rights I’m afraid unless he dies while the kids are dependent on you.
You need a serious talk and then to start planning for your future.

What would happen to you if you split up? You would have no right at all over his house or other assets as you are not married. Are you the person nominated to receive any life assurance payout or benefits from his pension fund? You really need to have a serious conversation about this as soon as possible. Marriage or civil partnership would sort a lot of of this out for the cost of the licence.

You both need to see a solicitor , together and separately. If he dropped dead tomorrow, the children would ‘own ‘ your house but presumably you would have to live there as their parent and legal guardian.

More seriously, though, you need to discuss with him why he would be happy to see you homeless after his death ( if it occurred after the children became adults). That is a pretty callous way to think about your partner and the mother of your children.

see a solicitor asap. You could be left homeless.

Proba Is but that’s not an excuse for leaving a partner homeless.

Depending on how much the house is worth and how much you both have in other assets, marriage might take you out of inheritance tax, which would mean more money for the children. Put that to him if he's so keen to provide for their future above yours.

He poo poos it and says “that’s not going to happen” so I have brought it up, he just dismisses it off hand.

You could be homeless when he dies. I’d separate now and get your share.

Discuss how you will remain living in the house if he should die. Set aside a savings account for yourself and make sure your super is in order.

It makes sense to leave most things to the next generation.
I agree with your husband in this though you need to discuss your home.

Also do a Will for yourself and, apart from allocating him being allowed to live in your side of the house for a time, do not leave anything to him.

Why does he think you’ll die before him given you’re 10 years younger?

The one unavoidable fact of life is that at some point we are all going to die, and there's no knowing when. He needs to face up to this. Men have lower life expectancy than women and he is ten years older than you. Of course it's statistically likely he'll go first.

Won”t this leave you basically homeless if he were to die first?
Without him specifying in his will that you could remain in the house for life before the children get it you could be obliged to sell it and divide the proceeds between the children.

That’s ridiculous. Please get some legal advice op. 💐💐💐

Do you work OP? do you have a reasonable income?