To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

[tiredsince2020]

And I feel really horrible but is it just me who dreads having to go to nursery to get their child?

I have always had this and around this time of day have the horrible pull of guilt that he’s almost certainly had enough and will want to come home and the knowledge that I’ll have three to four hours of him

Do you mean that you’ve been asked to pick him up due to illness or is this the regular pickup? When did you drop him off? If you’re dreading picking him up from a standard day at nursery then it indicates that you’re not enjoying parenthood. Does your child have SN or any challenges that make parenting more difficult? Do you feel like you have a good attachment with him? There might be something happening here that you might need to address.

No SEN I know of. I do find parenting him hard work and especially at this time of day.

Do you mean that he'll be over tired, over stimulated and difficult til bedtime?

How do you find non nursery days?

You are either burnt out or something about your post nursery routine just isn’t working for the two of you. either way it’s time to change your routine to try to break the pattern and make things better.

what time do you pick him up? Does he have any immediate needs or could you stop somewhere on the way home? What about stopping by the park, even with a packed snack and even if it is getting chilly, and running around for a bit. If he has any complex emotions from the transition from nursery to home, a bit of physical activity could help. Or maybe stop at your local library, the supermarket, or just really anyplace that works for you. You are out anyway. Make the trip home a bit longer and include a bit of different stimulation for both of you.

If this is a temporary challenge due a phase then I think it’s about either making some changes to your routine to make things easier (if possible) or gritting your teeth and getting through it. If this has been going on for a while then I would be somewhat concerned. Are you enjoying parenthood at other times and on non nursery days?

We often get a whingey outburst after nursery which is understandable - he’s tired - but I do find this time of day a killer generally!

Is everything ok OP?

Do you have a stressful job? Sounds like you could be suffering from burnout yourself?

What time do you pick him up and what time does he go to bed?

It’s not that long if you pick him up at half 4 and start the bedtime routine at half 6ish?

How do you fill those hours, maybe talk us through it so we can advise? Its ok to put a little movie on or some cartoons.

Bring him home, give him a bag of crisps and a cup of milk and put cbeebies on.

What time does nursery shut? Can you pick up nearer 5?

Is it possible to find a way to have a bit of a breather immediately before pick up? E.g. a walk around the block or something? I feel like sometimes it's quite intense going straight from work to parenting

He doesn’t like CBeebies.

I do generally collect him around 4-430. I find this time of day hard, hard going though.

I have a sinking feeling in my stomach too every day at pick up and after. It's bloody hard work doing evening routines with little ones. Especially alone !

I used to find a loooooong bath with toys was a good way to fill the gap until tea time. Mine was an overwrought pain at that age.

The late afternoon/early evening is a generally crappy time for toddlers and very little children. Even primary school kids are often little rat bags after school for the first couple of years. It will get better.

I had periods of feeling like this. It wasn't that I didn't love my child, but that I was tired/overwhelmed/pissed off/stressed/bored of the same old/worried. Add the thought of a demanding, moaning child and then the guilt of thinking about your child that way (when you haven't seen them all day)...yeah - it was all a bit much at times.

On the other side of the coin were the days when it felt like Christmas; that I had slept well, was on top of everything, I knew what we were having for dinner, the weather was lovely, and I couldn't wait to collect them.

Most days were something in between (thankfully, otherwise I'd not have got them to where they are now!). I think it's all part of being a parent and life.

The thing with little kids is that no week is the same.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Ok, don't then.

@Namechangencncnc i quoted you but then there was a longer reply below. At the moment I’ve put one of his favourite shows on but he’s still jumping round yelling like a complete loon. It’s hard going. If it was as straightforward as a bit of TV and a snack it would not be a problem!

Imagine the nursery staff.
They have families too and would probably also like to go home.
You are paying for a service so you can collect when you like but please don't turn up late and chat so the staff have to stay longer.
Your child would probably prefer to be at home , even if it's just chilling with a story with you.
Your child's face at collection , priceless.
He is probably looking forward to it from about lunch time onwards.

What a load of nonsense.

Are you a single parent op or does the other adult in your household work long hours/stay at work in until post bedtime?
Can be exhausting with an overtired toddler - if you do bedtime earlier can lead to earlier waking and disturbed night's.
Strangely enough you will miss it when it stops

I don’t think I will but thanks. Yeah just me, with an extremely hyperactive child prone to doing insane things.

Is nursery open until 6? Why do you need to pick up at 4?

You what?!

My kid absolutely loved nursery.

And should I have been crying about the staff having to work for a living, just like I did?!