To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

[tiredsince2020]

And I feel really horrible but is it just me who dreads having to go to nursery to get their child?

I have always had this and around this time of day have the horrible pull of guilt that he’s almost certainly had enough and will want to come home and the knowledge that I’ll have three to four hours of him

Coffee is definitely a must, @theotherfossilsister !

Cringing so much at this! My ‘very bright’ 😂 kids are at university now and are not remotely traumatised by being at nursery. They are proud I worked! We have had absolutely fabulous family times though I would never use such a cliched Instagram phrase such as ‘making memories’! Very close and happy young adults now.

It is disappointing that you have contributed to the gender pay gap by dropping out of the workforce. And you have my sympathy as you are doing that thing of convincing yourself you did the right thing by giving up work and depending on a man/benefits, when you are clearly realising that the kids of sahps are no different to those of working parents. I hope you make peace with your choice. I am sure you did what you thought right at the time.

I am laughing at these people who think a child has ADHD if they are not entranced by the TV. Mine liked TV, but I have met kids who didn’t. It doesn’t always hint at any kind of special need! I bet some of these posters are the ones who need the TV on all day and cannot imagine a day without watching Loose Women!

Yea I’m really not understanding this either.

I understand sone parents aren’t too keen about screen time, but it’s better than an uptight mood in the house.

Or failing that, what does he enjoy because that’s normally the best place to start? My SIL’s little boy had a kind of junior scalextric which he enjoyed racing the cars round when he was a bit low energy . Would he like something like that where the cars give the impression of racing about but he is still?

I totally agree

While that poster's contribution was heinously tone deaf:

a) she didn't give up work, she's self employed, and

b) slamming SAHPs is an ironically unpleasant way to respond to the issue of that poster judging the OP.

Nobody is suggesting OP consider ADHD because of her child not being entranced by TV. They are saying it because of the combination of her finding him hard, full on, hyperactive, never stopping, argumentative, impossible to tire out as he just gets more energetic etc. (And yes also not enjoying sitting and doing something quietly, but not that on its own).

Perfectly reasonable thing to suggest keeping an eye on, considering it's very common (likely around 3-5% population, so 1 in every 20-30 children) and he has about half the diagnostic criteria described in this thread.

Obviously nobody has actually made a diagnosis, it's just a suggestion. NHS won't assess at nursery age anyway because there is too much overlap with normal age appropriate activity, short attention span etc.

Since nobody has suggested anything outlandish like dosing him up with coffee, the suggestion is mainly to look at resources about what helps with ADHD type hyperactive behaviour, since at this age most of it will be transferable to any child with a higher energy range, and will be far more useful than generic, frustrating advice OP is finding unhelpful like "put the TV on and give him a snack" or "praise for good behaviour" or "tire him out on the way home".

He might well grow out of it but maybe the info for more extreme situations will help in the meantime.

Haven't rtft but wondering if he could be hangry? You say they have tea but it may be so low on calories because of 'healthy choices' that he may need earlier proper evening meal as soon as possible after arriving home. Something prepped and almost ready to go?

Hanger is an actual thing as being hungry,causes cerebral irritation.

Lots of adults like to come home to the comfort of food and it sounds as if he's a very active, lively little boy so burning up calories at a huge rate... maybe?

Yes very possible I’d say. There’s something about a hot meal - especially as it gets darker.

Did we ever get clarification of whether or not OP is a single parent?? Conflicting info earlier......

Troll? Are you ok?

I used to feel like this, when I had PND. I was already taking antidepressants but I also started having cognitive behavioural therapy. it really helped.

I used to dread ever having to be on my own with DC, I always wanted another adult around and would avoid going home, taking them places or to a relatives etc so I wasn't the only adult.

And what age are you going to cut the apron strings, mummy martyr?

I send my two year old to nursery two mornings a week because I want to and because he is extremely hard work and needs help with speech development. Judge away. Mums are allowed a break. I have just spent two hours so far stopping him climbing tables, messing with taps and playing with the cooker. Yeah we will go to softplay but I can't afford that all the time. Who enjoys that sort of behaviour seven days a week? Enjoy your break OP. The free hours can't come soon enough. Some of us just don't have easy children!

@IVFmumoftwo What a pointless, unkind comment. Nosmartphone doesn't sound martyred to me in any way, just someone who was able to make choices to suit her and her children and expressibg her opinion of the practice of putting very yoing children in nursery, sometimes for many hours a day.

No doubt there are already studies published linking this to the incredible rise in anxiety and mental illness in our younger population

My youngest hated nursery too, sadly I was very much the main breadwinner though both us parents worked full time... he got through it, went on to enjoy school and sixth form college, and is now thriving as a resident doctor... we naximised our flexibility in order to put him in half day sessions and one of us, mum or dad, would be the ones to drop off and pick up. We were lucky in that sense

Counterintuitive but could you spend some days with him one on one to re-set your relationship? Tbh I find you saying you don’t “exactly” not love him quite worrying.

And does his jumping around have to be a problem?