To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

[tiredsince2020]

And I feel really horrible but is it just me who dreads having to go to nursery to get their child?

I have always had this and around this time of day have the horrible pull of guilt that he’s almost certainly had enough and will want to come home and the knowledge that I’ll have three to four hours of him

It's the bewitching hour

I didn't enjoy it as mum of a toddler

Dd loved the night garden so we would record it and play from a previous day rather then wait till think 620 when on

But as they get older and more independent

Shes now playing with her babies at 7yr

I used to leave mine there til 5.30 earliest. Even now with after school club I do the same. I’ve paid for it. May as well reap the rewards. Kids in the evening are hard work especially after a day of work yourself

I've had days like this OP. Mentally preparing for the post nursery/school restraint collapse, all the emotions, complaints about what is/isn't for dinner, two kids who seem to have an overdose of energy when tired and are bouncing off the walls. We've tried having high octane family time after dinner to burn off the energy, or doing something calming to bring the tone down and honestly the success seems to depend on wind direction and whether the sun is in venus. Literally can't call it. I find myself counting down to bedtime and then feeling like a total failure of a mother because i should be soaking up this precious and fleeting time. Then once you've got them in bed there are chores to get done and you can't just sit in a corner getting over the horrible few hours you've just had. Bleugh.

No advice, but solidarity!

It's not every day, some days are absolutely delightful, but some days are tough. It is getting easier as they get older. My 5 year old rarely traumatises me these days 😂 the threenager though...send gin!!!

So normal in my opinion! End of the day: you're exhausted from work and need to wind down, while their needs are peaking prior to bedtime seperation and from a long day at nursery. Massive conflict between those two states.

I hate it too. I've found having in a little mini routine helps. Snack, episode of Bluey, bath, bed. All at set times so I know the end of the day is coming!

Try and leave him in nursery a little longer if you can - he will be fine and will give you a short time to recharge your batteries, have a cup of tea, perhaps even do a little tidying/washing/ironing. Don't feel guilty as it is better for both of you to be happy at pick up time.
I hated this time (DH was never home before 8pm) by which time the house was peaceful but messy.
When youngest DS hit 13 life was different - just a passing grunt as he came home heading for the biscuit tin before skulking to his room allegedly to do his homework.

I do exactly the same thing with wraparound care - I often finish work around 5/5:15, will have a cup of tea and read a book for 10 mins before getting the kids.

I think not having transition time can be hard.

He gets plenty of sleep and sleeps well. He is just as I say always hyper, always moving, always shouting, always flinging himself around. Always <sigh>

Good for you OP for being so brutally honest. Being a working mum to a toddler is hard work. You want to relax after work but then have to entertain an overstimulated kid! It’s not easy. Do you have any help (e.g. a partner). Parenthood is not always fun and it’s fine to admit that.

Weird way to describe a relationship with a child, how old is he? If you pay for nursery until past 5 then there's no harm picking him up then, there's always something to feel guilty about when there's no need. Plenty of children do long days.

Mine was like this. He's almost 6 now and still has spurts of it but he's calmed down a lot. Hang in there!!

And should I have been crying about the staff having to work for a living, just like I did?!

No. But you'd be amazed how many parents pick up late - deliberately so - on a regular basis. Staff in nurseries also have families they want to get home to - sometimes their own children in other childcare, buses, trains, trams, traffic jams to navigate, friends to see, partners to chat with, birthday's to celebrate, people who require some form of care (elderly parents, disabled siblings, disabled children).......

I never know how to take these ‘you’re weird’ sort of posts. Possibly best ignored.

I hope he calms down, as he’s getting physically bigger it’s really hard work.

It isn’t just him I collect but a younger child. I was actually off today so you’d think I’d be nice and chilled!

I wouldn’t be amazed but maybe talk to them about it as I am picking my child up minimum of two hours before the nursery actually closing.

Oh I know what you mean - we used to call it the witching hour. That period around tea time but before bed when your children turn into horrendous little demons. Probably because they are tired and grumpy, which comes out in screaming, refusal to comply with reasonable requests, and thumping their siblings.

I used to find the late afternoons/early evenings hard too. I’d be clock watching because she was so demanding and whingey at this time. Luckily she loved the bath and went to bed really early, so it would be early tea, long bath and bed.
But I still remember pacing up and down with her whinging as a baby, or just trying to distract her as a toddler, while counting down the minutes till bathtime.
it got easier.

You're a single parent. People will say that their husbands are rubbish/work away or they have no family support nearby and are basically single parents but it's not the same as being the only parent with no breaks, unable to even nip to the supermarket, go to the gym or even for a walk. Full financial responsibility is on you and all life admin, car, house maintenance, garden. Plus you have to be not just a mother but a father to a child/children - I had to teach mine to swim, to ride a bike, how to wipe their bums and how to pee properly (even though I don't have a willy) It's such hard work and exhausting - no wonder you dread picking him up at time, you're probably burnt out and need a break. I had two under two and on my own and I felt the same. It will get better and some phases are much easier. Please don't feel bad - just try to remember that they're only little for such a short time and these difficult phases do pass. I know you love him but parenting was not meant for just one person, alone so cut yourself so slack.

Not just me, then!

@thingymijigi ?

I know about the guilt but you need to look after yourself to look after them. I’d honestly pick up later if I were you and use the time to get some breathing space. Try to banish the guilt, easier said than done, and remember you’re taking chill time so you are able to cope better. I’m sorry this is so sucky for you.

A thousand times this! I hate that part of the day on nursery days. But they're just tired/hungry/ thirsty/ overestimated usually. But so am I at that time of day because when my son is at home we tend to chill and take the day slowly

@OhMaria2 I think the issue is that he won't just sit down and chill or she would definitely be doing that...

It would work great if he was the sort of child who would calmly sit and eat and drink and watch TV. Reality is milk everywhere, crisps everywhere and continuing to charge around shrieking like a loon.

I really really wish he’d just you know, watch TV.

What is a chill day?

Sorry, how can a child not like CBeebies? The beauty of it is, nothing lasts longer than ten minutes. If you don't like the programme that's on, another one will be along shortly!

You don't seem very... solutions-focussed, I must say.

What time are you finishing work op? Think the pp advice re having a brief half hour between work and pick would be very beneficial.

@MerlotMisery he might have undiagnosed ADHD for all we know. One of my children would watch it all day (if he could) and one wasn't interested.