Teens kicking off about nye party

[Hopelessinhomecounties]

Wwyd. We want to have a bit of a party on new year. This would mean that our friends would come over and we’d let their kids come too if they wanted.
My kids are kicking off as they say it will be really awkward and they’ll have to host.
They know all the kids; most of the other kids know each other or have some connections between them.
When we’ve done this kind of thing before they’ve ended up having a good time. I’m worried that they are getting really closed. Covid didn’t help and they just have small groups of friends and that’s it. If kids came round they’d have gaming/films/games/hanging out loads to do! I don’t see a problem. But they are furious.
what have you don’t in this situation to get kids that don’t know each other really well have a party too and relax about hanging out…
when I was younger I got on with it if my parents had a party and I think it makes you more confident at new work places/ gyms / parties if you are used to just getting on with it.

Why do they think they have to host?
If they don't want to join the party they can stay in their rooms, surely?

‘Dear kids,

When you are living in your own property then you can make decisions about NYE parties.

Love,

Parent(s)’

Tell them it's happening end of

How old are your children? How old are the children you are inflicting on them?

My kids loved this sort of thing when they were younger but it gets more awkward as they get older .

Do all the children know each other or will they be strangers?

Absolutely this!
Well done TitusMoan

It depends on their ages. If they are teenagers, or almost I can understand them not wanting to have to mix/share space with others they don’t know well. Can they opt out in their rooms, or is there an expectation they will mix/join in?

We usually host NYE parties too and the kids have a great time. My older teen isn't always so keen but to be honest it's happening whether she likes it or not.

I remember going to a party and my parents friends children having to host us, it’s was so awkward, to this day it still makes me shudder

I remember having to hang out with my parents friends kids when I was younger in similar situations. Wasn't my fave thing to do hanging out with people I barely knew...but I wouldn't ever have thought to complain about it, just was what it was!!

These days I'm the parent awkwardly hanging out with the parents of my kids friends whilst they're on playdates. So it's not improved 😂

Saying that I did end up dating another teen I met at one of my parents parties for over 10 years...so couldn't have been all bad

Would it help to sweeten the deal and let them choose stuff for the kids buffet/drinks station or something?

In the OP...

How many times have you put up with your children's friends in your home, fed them, entertained them? Probably a lot more often than your kids realise.

Surely in this situation teens just nick some of their parents booze and end up having a great time?

or maybe that was just me 😆

What age are your children@Hopelessinhomecounties? And are all the kids who might be invited the same sort of ages as yours? You say 'most of them' know at least some of the others/have connections. How many don't know any of the others?

Maybe do something else with some of people coming between now and then if they haven’t seen them for a long time? That way it won’t feel so awkward at nye.

I think you should go ahead with the party as it’s your house and your plans, and you aren’t doing anything wrong. However, I see your DC’s point. I remember my heart sinking when my parents would tell me they were having a party like this as yes, my siblings and I would be expected (by ALL the parents who wanted to forgo parenting for the night) to ‘host’. It’s bloody awkward, especially when you’re a teenager, having to hang out with children of your parents friends. An entirely different thing if they see each other regularly and would choose to hang out independently, but I absolutely see why they’re aged out of wanting to do board games etc with others they barely know. Do your DC’s have friends they could potentially go have a sleepover with? Or invite some of their own friends round so it didn’t feel so awkward to them?

I am an introvert and was OK hanging out with my own friends but really really hated enforced socialising with my parents friends kids when i was old enough to entertain myself. I found it awkward and mentally draining and I'd have much rather just read a book. I might have missed what age your teens are but if they're at the age where they organise their own social lives and are fine to be left in houses by themselves then I think you're being unreasonable sorry (appreciate I'm in a minority here). I'd still expect them to come and say hi and be polite to your guests. But wouldn't effectively make them host people they don't want to spend time with

Could they go to their friends house's? Do they have to be there?

God, they sound like my DSC. Really hard work.

This is exactly it. They’re feeling awkward (13,14). Used to love it. Kids range from 9-17 most of the kids are connected and there’s not one that knows no one.

Very good point. I might mention this.

At that age we were allowed hooch or malibu and coke, 😂 felt like part of the party then! Does that still happen?

I think school makes kids feel strange hanging out with much older/younger kids. When my teens became old enough to get part-time jobs/go to college etc they found it strange being friends with all kinds of ages. They are social kids so quickly got used to it.

Can you invite some of their friends to reduce the pressure on them ?

I don't remember consulting my DC when I threw a party.

Are you me? We used to do this sort of thing all of the time. Now the DC are mortified at the thought of it. I think it's the whole combination that DH or I might do something embarassing (by which they mean talk to one of their friends rather than dance naked on the kitchen table), they might have to speak to someone who they don't socialise with at school and other people might find out, if we invite some of their newer friends' parents then we might talk to those parents and essentially compare notes.

As long as it’s not forced involvement so they can also just chill or go to their rooms without having to babysit friends children go ahead