Teens kicking off about nye party

[Hopelessinhomecounties]

Wwyd. We want to have a bit of a party on new year. This would mean that our friends would come over and we’d let their kids come too if they wanted.
My kids are kicking off as they say it will be really awkward and they’ll have to host.
They know all the kids; most of the other kids know each other or have some connections between them.
When we’ve done this kind of thing before they’ve ended up having a good time. I’m worried that they are getting really closed. Covid didn’t help and they just have small groups of friends and that’s it. If kids came round they’d have gaming/films/games/hanging out loads to do! I don’t see a problem. But they are furious.
what have you don’t in this situation to get kids that don’t know each other really well have a party too and relax about hanging out…
when I was younger I got on with it if my parents had a party and I think it makes you more confident at new work places/ gyms / parties if you are used to just getting on with it.

I had really outgoing extroverted parents who loved to host. I am deeply introverted. All of their friends had children of a similar age who I grew up with, so I knew them my whole life... but were not my friends. We had very very very little in common and it was always AWKWARD. Maybe up until about 12yo-ish it was okay but beyond that it felt so forced and horrible, especially on nights like NYE when it was a really really long time (my parents always hosted a dinner starting at 7ish so it was 6-7 hours 'socialising' with people I didn't have anything to talk to them about - some of them were in different social groups to me at school nd had friends that didn't like my friends (or even bullied them) etc which felt so uncomfortable. I don't begrudge my parents for it as now I'm an adult I fully understand their desire for a social life, but it was a shit way to spend NYE/Xmas eve/various summer evenings. Yes I moaned, and was called 'antisocial'.

Brilliant, I vote for this idea!

A 9yo does not need a babysitter, especially when their parents are in the same house.

Yes, it's brilliant, the teenagers can set the house rules and pay the rent too. 😂

My parents didn't have friends! Like none!

I've often over the years socialised with people I'm not that keen on, friends husbands/partners friends of friends.

If they have another option they really want to do instead i would probably allow it, but otherwise i think it’s a good life skill to learn to navigate stuff that’s just a bit awkward/not your preferred choice.

I'd say talk to them about how they'd like it to go. My kid is only 11, but I still see differences between his friends now - like when they were 6 or 7 everyone liked lego, the climbing frame and a few other toys. Basically you put some toys out and the kiddos just played together or side by side. Now they all have likes and dislikes and so maybe yes if there is some direction, aims, party games etc for them to do it would be ok, but they'd be lost at just chilling!

They will all be on their phones. No hosting required.

This!

NYE is tricky for younger teens. We got massively lucky and were good friends with dd1s friends parents so we had parties we all genuinely enjoyed from 12 -15 then covid now they do their own thing.

Because when you have guests it's rude to ignore them. No way I would have been allowed to stay in my room if parents had people round, and no way would I allow my kids to do it either.

But they aren’t the teens guests! They didn’t invite them…

But the teens don’t have guests the adults do so actually the polite thing to do would have a polite hello then keep out of the way surely. Rather then invade another’s hosting.

Can't they invite one actual friend to sleepo or something. Other people's children does NOT enhance your social skills.its just a shit night.

Fuck me this site never fails to stun me anew with the volume of people seemingly happy to raise socially stunted, anxious kids who never, ever have to do anything out of their comfort zone 😂
My parents would host/take me to parties such as this at your DCs ages and I would feel similarly anxious about going/seeing these other kids and then, lo and behold, actually end up having a good time😱

Ugh I hate attitudes like this. My parents relished telling me how difficult adult life was, and how I could make all the decisions myself when I was an adult. So I am and I have, and they don't like it because I'm not making the 'right' decisions in their eyes. It's OP's children's house too, they didn't ask to be here, and at 13 and 14 they have no choice about where to live.

How far are you going to take the whole "they didn't ask to be here" nonsense? They don't want to work so you will pay their bills until you die ?

My younger son would have hated this, my older one would have been ok with it. I can remember forced socialising with kids who weren’t my friends and like my son I hated it. As long as they know they can go to their room if they’ve had enough then it should be ok.

Even teens should have a glimmer of understanding that people as tragically pathetic as their parents need outside freindships, that socialising is important to a lot of people even if they're in their 30's /50's or 90's. Yes, it's their home, BUT it's yours too, and one night a year isn't a big ask.

They mightnt want to socialise with your friends or their DC. Fine. They can say hi, chat for a bit, be polite and welcoming then go to their rooms after a couple hours.

Can your kids invite 1 or 2 of their closest mates round?

And can you set a room up - TV, games console, a lego set for the younger ones, dart board for the teenagers - so the kids have got stuff to do?

Or - can they stay at a friend's house for the night?

Will they be forced to share their rooms with anyone? Or can they still retreat to their bedrooms?

Basically, if I was in this position and wanted the party, I'd still do it - but I would spend sometime thinking of ways to make it as good for all the kids as possible. Things like setting up a film to watch in a room - so they have something to focus on.

I might go down the route of ordering pizza's for the kids - so they aren't forced to sit round a dinner table

• that sort of thing.

It's less nonsense than the totalitarian 'my house, my rules' attitude of the post I was replying to. I was merely highlighting that young teens don't have much control over their lives, and listening to their preferences isn't necessarily spoiling them, just respecting them. Everyone living in a house should get a say, not just whoever is paying the bills.

Of course they used to love it they loved being around their parents and getting lots of attention

now you are embarrassing other adults are really boring and they choose their own friends

they are growing up that all have your party and let them do as they please join or stay in their rooms

Just make sure op if they do join you for a brief moment make sure you are dancing 🕺🏻 💃🏻

the sheer look of horror on their little faces will be a cherished memory 🤩

I'm surprised a 17 year old has to attend a NYE party hosted by the friends of their parents don't they have their own plans?