Teens kicking off about nye party

[Hopelessinhomecounties]

Wwyd. We want to have a bit of a party on new year. This would mean that our friends would come over and we’d let their kids come too if they wanted.
My kids are kicking off as they say it will be really awkward and they’ll have to host.
They know all the kids; most of the other kids know each other or have some connections between them.
When we’ve done this kind of thing before they’ve ended up having a good time. I’m worried that they are getting really closed. Covid didn’t help and they just have small groups of friends and that’s it. If kids came round they’d have gaming/films/games/hanging out loads to do! I don’t see a problem. But they are furious.
what have you don’t in this situation to get kids that don’t know each other really well have a party too and relax about hanging out…
when I was younger I got on with it if my parents had a party and I think it makes you more confident at new work places/ gyms / parties if you are used to just getting on with it.

But the friends don’t bring along their parents for the op to entertain at same time! I don’t imagine the kids are opposed to parent’s friends coming over just the kids too.

It’s an awkward stage - our eldest doesn’t get on with the children of our friends now they all go to secondary school together. It’s a shame but we just socialise as adults now. Last year he was willing to suck it up for us to all go for NYE but I don’t think he’d want to do that this year and that’s fine with us.

If I were your kids I'd be going to stay with Grandparents for a quiet night. It sounds horrendous.

Yes I think the option to go somewhere else would be good!

If other kids weren't coming then having a few of your own friends for a sleepover would be fun but entertaining randoms truly isn't.

Yes really! They’ll be fine, and able to cooe
with their parents doing something for themselves for one night.

I absolutely did have to entertain my children’s friends parents for years between the ages of 2 and 6/7 for each child! Week in and week out for each child.

You sound fun!!

If you want to have a party then have a party but don't expect your kids to want to join in. If they don't want to don't force them to. It's their home so they can take themselves off to their rooms & do their own thing. I'm sure once everyone arrives & they see the other kids they'll come around & start mixing & doing things together. If you've set up a separate space for games, movies etc for the younger lot encourage your friends kids to use this space & mention to your 2 xxx is in the games room if you fancy joining them, then leave it up to them to decide what they want to do. Have you asked your 2 if they would like to invite one of their friends over to the party. This might be an idea so they have a close mate with them.

Bit different, eh? First off, you were a parent of small kids, so that's part of the deal. You chose that. Second of all, as an adult you had the ability to say no, we're not going to have Sam and his mum over this week, I'm too busy. So you didn't have to. Third, 2-7 years olds are one thing. I'd put money on you not entertaining your teenager's friend's parents week in and week out. And finally, and probably most importantly, you're not talking about a NYE party..!

You are weirdly invested in this thread, you must have posted about 50 times.

Did you? I think most the time at those ages it was the friends I made with kids the similar ages that I routinely hang out with.

I am invested thank you for noticing, why? Because I see parents actively damaging their children by not encouraging them to socialise, to learn the life skills. I feel like this lame view that if diddums doesn’t like x, y and z then the event/party/holiday or whatever else must not happen, despite the fact most teens enjoy these things when given the chance.

What you end up with is a generation of children and soon to be adults that are lazy, lonely social incompetents without basic manners or awareness unable to try anything remotely new or different. It’s very worrying. They end up very anxious and unable to tolerate real life. Poor mental health, stunted and narrow lives, I see the outcomes of this parenting professionally. So yes definitely invested in outcomes for children and teens.

Let them live, learn, meet new people and push boundaries and gain self esteem and self respect. Safe spaces should be banned, as they create even more anxiety!

@Savingthehedgehogs Safe spaces should be banned, as they create even more anxiety!

Tell me you don't know what you're talking about, without telling me... At least you've proven once and for all your opinions on this topic aren't worth listening to.

I really don’t mind that you disagree but honestly stop making your kids so anxious! Expose them to new experiences so they can manage real life.

I don't have kids...

And yet you feel qualified to repeatedly post on here 😳 and judge others…

I wasn't aware you got an NVQ in the labour suite..?

What do you know about parental decisions exactly given you have never made any! 🤷‍♀️

Clearly more than you, because as I said: you've proven once and for all your opinions on this topic aren't worth listening to.

I'm not going to reply to you any more, so don't waste your time.

I think you should have asked them. As an adult would you be ok with your partner inviting people on NYE to your gaff and be expected to socialise with them? Just because x,y and z happened in the past doesn't mean it will be ok now. I think your children are at an age where if you want them to entertain your friends kids, they should have been asked.

Totally agree Agent. And I don’t think treating teens like people and respecting their views as you would your spouse or friends rather than children to be told what to do by you means you are a wet indulgent parent and they will never learn social skills. That’s a total reach.

How did you are on here spouting so much judgment and you don’t have kids, teens or otherwise.

You would ask a 13 year old if you can have a party in your own house?? I think I have honestly heard it all now!!! 🍪🍪

I was totally with you until you said that you would be really annoyed if they didn't join in, but you lost me at that point.

It's fine to host a party for your friends, obviously. And it's fine for you to tell your friends that their dc are welcome. But I don't think it's reasonable to expect your own dc to host the dc of your friends if they don't want to.

I think you should tell them that the party is happening, whether they like it or not, and that your friends' dc are invited. They don't get to veto that. If they want to join in, you'd be delighted. If they want to hang out in their rooms, that's fine. If they want to make plans with friends, that's fine too but you won't be available for taxi duty.

I imagine that some of your friends' dc will have better things to do in any case, especially the 17yo! Most young people want to spend NYE with their friends at that age, rather than hanging out with a bunch of their parents' friends and their dc.

None of my children, even the ND ones need the whole house to be a safe space . NT children who haven't suffered abuse don't need their house to be a safe space from a new years eve party with people they know , fucking hell

No but it looks like OPS kids can't escape to their rooms, they're expected to entertain the visitors.

Mine ND kids would hate it but be fine if they could hide in their rooms. It would be horrible expecting to host kids and have no where to escape.

all this for the sake of a nye party. Jesus Christ. I’m pretty sure your overreacting