To not let 13 year old have TT or SC

[Yope]

I'm really against it.
He's 13, school year 8.
Everything in me says don't let him have these yet. Nor Instagram.
He's got WhstsApp. That's enough. He doesn't need social media at his age.
The way I see it is, the more of this stuff they have on their phones , the more they will be exposed to and the more social shit they'll have to deal with.
But he's getting mocked for it by mates.
A lot.
And this morning I saw a message sent from a mutual friend to another mutual friend with a crying laughing emoji and a piss taking comment about my DS not being allowed to have SM.
I'm not saying never.
I'm just saying not yet.
AIBU?

This is the world they live in. Better to teach them how to navigate it than try to protect them from it by withholding. All teens communicate on Snapchat now. It's their version of WhatsApp. None of them use WhatsApp, you're causing him to be left out of all out of school communication with friends.

YABU. It's your DS who is losing out and getting the piss taken out of him. Let him have it before he gets any more left out!

This isn't true.
All his mates WhatsApp him daily. And he's on multiple different active WhattsApp groups. There were 50 new messages on one of them this evening.
Don't tell me kids don't use WhattsApp. It's false.

I agree with you.

Could he have an account but on your phone? And agreed time on it in the evenings? That would feel like a middle ground.

I can totally understand why you want to keep him off social media. Unfortunately he is going to feel left out if all of his friends communicate this way. I think you have to balance the risks against him being ostracised by his peer group. Can you allow him to have the apps but make it clear that it's under supervision and remove the phone a couple of hours before bed so he has some time away from it too?

Snap chat nope. I did a post on here a while back asking and it was a resounding no. High school have asked it to removed from all kids phones.

Mine do have tik tok with parents controls and time limits

I’m with you OP. And we are not the only parents so our kids are not the only kids. I will be waiting as long as possible.

Like it or not they do use Snapchat to communicate. WhatsApp far less common for teens.

Why come on and ask? You already have become defensive when someone says you are wrong. Your DS is losing out on using
the main communication medium of teens SC, he’s being made fun of and possibly ostracised because of it.
it’s better to use the parental controls to limit the time and have proper discussions about how to navigate social media than it is to have an out right ban.
However TT has no uses and can be addictive, giving SC only would be a great compromise.

Great so for fear of him being mocked on social media you are implementing some weirdo standard of WhatsApp is ok but anything else is not ok leading to him being mocked on social media. A spectacular backfire in parenting that is. You have caused that which you are trying to protect him from. Perhaps you should trust him to know how to navigate teen friendship groups? Novel idea isn’t it?

You're protecting your son from sexual exploitation

Neither of my DC had Snapchat. DS1 downloaded it last week (he’s 17). DS2 (15) doesn’t have it (but equally doesn’t like messaging for the sake of it). DC2 used to have instagram but started doomscrolling so after discussing it he decided to delete it.

I think it is good for them to try these things whilst you can still supervise and help them learn sensible usage. But I’m not keen on Snapchat - especially for Ds2 as they have a temper and can snap back at people if he feels they are intrusive.

His ‘mates’ don’t sound very nice.

They are probably using WhatsApp to talk to him because he doesn't have anything else.

Neither of my older teenagers use WhatsApp with their friends, just for stuff like extra curriculars information.

He's your child so you have to decide what you think is best.

Interested in this, my foster child is 17 and we keep agreeing to social media and then he gets into trouble on it so it gets removed, we talk about it and how to use it safely, he gets it back and we repeat the process. Been doing it for years. I don't want him left out, I also don't want him in trouble and able to manage social media. Never sure what to do for the best for him.

I work with sexual offending, it's not something I'd allow for a 13 year old

I let all my children have all social media by the time they are 12. I know most on here will disagree but it works for us. For what it's worth, my 12 year old son never uses Whatsapp at all

@Pixiedust49

Have a read of this. * https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/crejr8grr01o*
Then have a think about whether children should have Snapchat.

DD 18 didn't get SC till y10 and still doesn't have TT. She has lovely friends and an active social life. I do not regret my decision to ban them at all - she could have had TT in y10 also if she wanted but it's such shite that once she'd tried it she felt it wasn't something she wanted to bother with so uninstalled it.

What an awful, almost neglectful attitude to parenting!

Year 9 dd doesn't have Snapchat for the above reasons

Do you honestly think predators only use Snapchat?

Of course not but OP was asking about snap chat

Smartphonefreechildhood.co.uk

Like the hundreds of thousands of other parents who've done this, I've signed the above pact to delay smartphones until year 9

@SummerFeverVenice
No I don't.
They use every single platform that will allow them access to children. But parents seem unable or unwilling to not give their children smartphones. So yes, the predators will always win.