To not let 13 year old have TT or SC

[Yope]

I'm really against it.
He's 13, school year 8.
Everything in me says don't let him have these yet. Nor Instagram.
He's got WhstsApp. That's enough. He doesn't need social media at his age.
The way I see it is, the more of this stuff they have on their phones , the more they will be exposed to and the more social shit they'll have to deal with.
But he's getting mocked for it by mates.
A lot.
And this morning I saw a message sent from a mutual friend to another mutual friend with a crying laughing emoji and a piss taking comment about my DS not being allowed to have SM.
I'm not saying never.
I'm just saying not yet.
AIBU?

I'm very old and everyone I work with is on Snapchat. It's a bit of fun.

I'd say it very much depends on the child, so know your child. Some can be fine with it, some are more impressionable than others. My DS has not had any issues, though its known some have, I dont deny bad things can happen. Talking to any unknown person on any SM platform is never a good idea. If they don't understand this, don't let them use it. If bullying has happened prior at school, might be best put off for as long as possible.

Yes! If we all do it, they won’t be missing out will they…

A poster on another thread this evening describes her job as a safeguarding lead in a school - her day is filled with dealing with children who have posted nude photographs.

I don't think it is specifically for teenage girls

Social media is not specific to smartphones, and indeed social media predates the first smartphone.

I am always confused when social media and the internet as a whole are used interchangeably with smartphones. Loads of people message each other from their computers. I never used a mobile phone growing up, but it was very easily to communicate with loads of other people online from a computer.

@Hoglet70
You are lucky you are very old. You are not the target market of peadophiles.

What's TT?

Tiktok

Nobody knows how old I am.My profile picture is my cat.

are teenage girls somehow inferior to teenage boys?

But OP, you are doing the right thing. "It's bad but OP other kids will mock him " is just lazy parenting.

My almost 15 year old doesn’t have any social media. He didn’t have a phone until he was almost 13 either. Our reasoning was because he was mercilessly bullied all through primary and having a phone would have just been another way for the bullying to continue outside of school too.

Confirmed that was the right decision when the police were called into the school and his classroom about the ‘class WhatsApp’ and the threats and bullying on there etc and he was able to leave the room while the police dealt with it as he was the only child not in the group.
He’s never asked for any social media even now he has a phone.

I wouldn’t allow SC because of the disappearing messages and have heard TT is awful.
I really like Instagram but even on there there’s some inappropriate stuff for kids if you go looking for it. I suppose it depends on how you think your child would use it. I think a compromise could be reached if the poor lad really wants it and he is being made fun of due to not having it.

Jeez what got your goat? Snapchat and WhatsApp are completely different beasts, kids are much more open to dodgy situations on Snapchat and it's much harder to monitor, even with parental controls etc.

Plus your vindictiveness and mockery is totally unnecessary

@shuggles
Fair point. So parents who give their todders tablets also need to be savvy.
Alexander McCartney coerced 10 and 12 year old children to send him sexual images of their 4 year old siblings.

My children and their friends all use snapchat. I have never been on it and know little about it, but I do know it's where they all communicate. My youngest is older than 13, but has definitely had snapchat for a few years. I haven't ever stopped them having anything like that, if they want to access something they will do it regardless if you allow it or not. All they would need to do is delete it from their phone when you are looking and how would you know?

That is the parenting fail- not teaching kids internet and SM smarts. Don’t blame the smartphone, computer, pad or PS/DS, blame the parents for being too lazy to teach kids internet & SM safety.

Your username would indicate that you are 53 or 54 years old.

Dd has Snapchat, tik tok and what’s app, they are closely monitored, her tik tok is private so only friends can see it. I told her she’s not having Instagram just yet. Soon probably… I don’t think too many of her friends have it yet so it’s not causing too much aggro. She’s currently not allowed her phone in the bedroom after 10, so I do spot checks to make sure nothing untoward is going on.

Erm.. my Mumsnet user name is absolutely not anything like any of my real life usernames!

@@SummerFeverVenice
You would think so. But you see it all the time on MN - checking a child or teenagers phone is 'invading their privacy'.

Oh my goodness why would you put your son into a situation where he is mocked? This will shape him for life - and not in a good way! Why not spend your energies talking to him and educating in proper use and to recognise harmful situations. Unfortunately life isn't about pretending these things don't exist!

schools teach this shit regularly, they have the police in, safeguarding folk in. Kids are far more savvy and clever than we give them credit for.

Its the adults who are afraid as they dont understand it, the kids on the whole are all over this

@pinkroses79
Probably when the police ring you to tell you that your child has sent sexual images of themselves to nonces.

It's luddite nonsense to not give preteens phones? Why?

it is