Mother in law wants to be in the bridal party

[Dilligas72]

I am being unreasonable to tell my mother in law that she can't come to the hotel and get her hair and make up done with me, my mum and the bridesmaids. She's not shown any interest in any part of it up until this point.

Ive always known it to be that bridal party get ready together and then MIL arrives a couple of hours before the ceremony to have hair and makeup done. That way it’s inclusive but not too intrusive IFSWIM.

Mine used our hairdresser actually because she was travelling from far away and didnt have any local contacts. I offered though, she didn’t ask.

Personally I think life is short. Does it matter?

If you fiance's sisters are bridesmaids and brothers are groomsmen presumably she is alone. That's not nice. Invite her

Getting ready with you doesn't mean she's in the bridal party.

My MIL got her hair and makeup done with us on the morning of the wedding. I think they did her first so she could go be with DH. Are there any other women on DH's side for her to get ready with? I think it's quite sweet that she wants to be part of the excitement with you.

She'll be in your life for good now, raised your DH and will be your DC's grandmother if you have them. I don't see any point in saying no just for the sake of it.

Seriously? Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? It’s just one extra person, who has mentioned it, so it’s clearly something she wants to do. Has she got daughters herself? Unless there is a backstory/drip feed, where your mil is awful and doesn’t get on with your mum/sisters, I think it would be unnecessarily harsh to refuse.

The more important question is why she doesn't want to spend that time with her son.
Parents should be with their own children before the wedding.

its your wedding day and if you MIL makes you feel uncomfortable or youre not that close then YANBU. you should feel at ease the entire day.

My DIL invited me to have my hair and make up done with her and her mother on the day of her wedding. It wasn't expected but it was a lovely thing for her to do

So surprised by these replies! I'm with you OP the morning is for you and your absolute nearest and dearest. Who else would want to come sister in laws? Granny in laws? I've never known a MIL to be there the morning before the wedding.

Perhaps she's tried not to be an interfering MIL to be and would have liked to have been more involved. Is part of you glad she wasn't involved? It's hard for a MIL to get the balance right. Would it be so hard for you to let her share this little bit of the build up?

It would be kind of you to say yes but I'm surprised she would want to. Surely she would want to be with her son?

Whats your beef with your MIL?

No, sorry. Mother of the groom isn't the bridal party - she's the groom (al?) party.

If i had a son i'd like to be with him the morning of his wedding, fussing over his suit ect.

I've been to lots of weddings and been married twice myself and parents of the groom are with him, helping get him calmly to the alter !

Seems a little unreasonable if your mum is going to be there. Unless she would really be annoying to have there, I would just let her join you.

It depends: are you on good terms? Is your mum and Mil on good terms? If yes I would invite her. If not, no. But it's cheeky to invite oneself..

This.

I'm guessing she doesn't have any daughters? If not it would be kind to let her experience getting the bride ready. I'm guessing your fiancee will be with his dad and best man so she will be on her own.

Each to their own, but I had my MIL up with us drinking prosecco and having her hair and make up done. I included her too when I went to get my wedding dress too as did my SIL. My MIL has been wonderful to me in welcoming to me to her family and it's the least I could do for her. She doesn't have daughters either and I thought it nice for her to be involved in the bridal part of it.

Are you giving your husband to be a gift on the day of the wedding. Could she come and have hair done etc then leave to take your gift to him?

Feels mean to exclude her

From the title I thought she wanted to wear a bridesmaid dress. That would be unusual. Wanting to get her hair and makeup done as part of the group doesn’t seem odd to me.

Are you going to drip feed some major reason why?
Otherwise you just sound unkind and miserable which doesn't bode well for a wedding 😂.

Whyever not though? Ok it may not be traditional but unless she's a genuinely objectionable person who's likely to ruin the moment, what's the harm?

I agree. If your Mum is invited then she should be too. Or it should be just bride and bridesmaids.