Surname etiquette after marriage

[Gc1992]

Please help. My middle name rhymes with my fiancé’s surname so it sounds silly together. Keeping my surname and adding his on as a double-barrelled name also doesn’t sound right. I could change my middle name. Is this unreasonable? I can’t emphasise enough how silly the two names sound together! 😂

Just keep your own name.

If you want the same surname and the middle name is really going to bother you, pick a new one together and both change your name. Why would you change 2/3 of your name while your partner changes nothing?

One of my daughter’s teachers has a surname that rhymes with her first name thanks to marriage. It’s ridiculous. No idea what she was thinking changing her name.

I dropped my middle name never liked it. So the marriage certificate says first name, DH surname. Everything else followed passport, driving licence, tax, etc
Don't miss the middle name and If I'd divorced I'd keep my current name.

Just keep your own name?

I'd keep your surname and double barrel the kids if you have them.

Keep your own name

I’m another person who changed name on marriage and regretted it. You can double barrel your children’s names, or give them your name as an extra middle name. But you don’t have to take your dh’s name, as in 2024 you are not his property.

Keep your own name, come up with a new one for the both, him change to yours or just accept no one will ever say your middle name again until you die.

Another vote for keeping your own name. I kept my own name for all official purposes, and just use Mrs DH socially when it suits. Nobody has ever assumed we're not a family.

Keep your own surname. Simple

btw I’m having fun guessing your name and I’ve decided you are Rachel Karen Baron

Just keep your current name. There is no legal obligation to change it on marriage, though there do seem to be people around who think there is.

I have one pair of friends who chose a new surname together, and another couple who both use the wife's surname. As well as the ones who haven't changed names at all.

Do whatever feels best to you (both) - that's all that matters.

I am invested in the rhyming names though.
Valerie Gallery?
Judy Moody?
Gayle Hale? 🧐

I wish I'd kept my name because I'm now divorced but I was desperate to get rid as it was my none existent father's name. I need a new name.

I wouldn’t worry about a middle name, honestly - can’t think of many situations where I (or anyone else for that matter) had to say “Wimpole Middle Hat”. May have had to write it on a form, but that’s for official purposes. If you want to be Mrs DHSurname, then I really wouldn’t let that put you off. If you don’t, keep your current surname. Whatever works best for you.

Keep your own name. Simple.
Even better, he could change his.
Don't change your title unless you really want to.

Most people really don't use their middle name so I wouldn't think it would be an issue. Might look a bit silly in your passport, but that's hardly a big deal.

Why do so many women feel the need to change their name and title upon marriage? Men don't, I can assure you!

I say keep your own name.

You clearly don't want to change it because you wouldn't be umming and ahhing if you did.

Just keep your name

You are a fully formed person with an identity. You don’t need to change your name.

if you really must have the same name as your spouse, but your spouse’s surname clashes with your middle name, then surely the solution is for your spouse to take your surname.

Why on earth are you changing your name?

I think my middle names (I have two) have come up in conversation once in the last five years. I got married in May and still haven't changed my name. I'm not sure I want to. It's such a ball ache to have to update my passport driver licence, work email etc etc. Kids have my husbands surname so I'm the odd one out but I'm in no rush. I've had this name for 40 years I can't imagine being called anything else

You could keep your name.

But if you don't want to, I don't think this is really an issue - how often is your middle name going to be said?

Hubby and I both db'd. And like hell was I going to be a Mrs!! 😆

Don’t change your name. The amount of tedious admin it saves is mind blowing.