To think the modern obsession with people's height is crazy?

[HeightObession]

NC for this.

So, I'm aware this might be an unpopular opinion, but hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

I was talking to a friend this morning who is OLD at the moment. She was telling me about a guy she'd recently met and had been getting to know. Generally everything was positive - he was kind, funny, they had a lot in common...but the deal breaker? He was 5 ft 10. To her, that was "too short", so she's not progressing things any further. Okay, chances are there were other things that she's not told me about, but am I being unreasonable to think rejecting someone purely on height is totally crazy and superficial?

But she won't be the only one. It seems quite a modern thing that people are obsessed with other people's height. Some will reject a man for being 5 foot 10, but be perfectly happy with someone who is 5 foot 11. And to me, it just seems so trivial - because ultimately, your height has no bearing on who you are as a person, and it is purely a gene lottery what height you are. Most men are the same height they were after reaching puberty 15, 20+ years ago.

And splitting hairs over such a small difference in height just seems bizarre. Can you visually picture the difference between someone is 5 foot 10, and someone who is 5 foot 11? I certainly can't.

I know men often get criticised on OLD for lying about their height, but I feel like these days it's cause and effect. If people didn't reject people over something so superficial, and in many cases over such a small difference in height, then men would be less likely to lie about it, don't you think?

I don't think it is a modern obsession at all. A lot of women prefer tall men and always have, although I must say it has never been important to me.

You name changed for a post about people's height?

I don't think anyone's really obsessed with height. Men go on and on about 'women only want 6 footers' but I don't think many people are like your friend, whose attitude is unreasonable, especially if that's taller than her.

People are attracted to what they’re attracted to.

I think OLD is a bit odd anyway as people have deal breakers that wouldn’t be a problem in real life, but they fixate on it as it’s just “on paper” and they haven’t met the person or been around them.

No one should be lying though- it’s extremely manipulative and causes people to waste their time.

If you’re only attracted to people over (or under) a certain height, that’s just you.

It's weird but I think from it starts from when they are small, so many of my friends keep going on and on about how tall their children are. It's literally the dullest thing ever.

I don’t think this is a new thing. It’s just easier to put criteria down online. Some people have age cut offs, e.g., 25-35 when they are 45 themselves. They might miss out on the love of their life by a year!

I don’t like beards, yes that’s very superficial, it’s just not something I’m attracted to. The only person missing out is me though, so I’m not sure why it’s an issue - same with height!

Thing is women have to compete with each other for very few ok men.
Unfortunately i dont think we can afford to dismiss some by height, especially not what is average height. So 50%+ of men discarded...
Only other side is that if the woman is 5'10+ herself. But basically the only 2 women in dc1 class who were single were the really tall ones. Because that must have left them with say 20% if that of men (who other women are also fighting over).

I mean say i preferred blond men but that must be a very small %

How tall is your friend OP?

It’s just bollocks. In real life people don’t care how tall you are.

But surely this is a good thing? If some women are rejecting ‘good’ men due to height, then there are more to go around! They are putting themselves out of the dating pool as they are rejecting shorter men so they are only hurting themselves, whilst giving other women more chance or finding a suitable partner. The man also benefits as he’s not with someone who discriminates on his height. It seems a win-win for everyone!

I'd say 5 ft 9-5,10 herself. So they're very similar heights - other than on occasion she'd be wearing heels, of course.

I can understand why you'd not want a massive visual difference - a man being significantly shorter, for instance. But when it is slightly shorter, the same, or even a little bit taller (!!!), I find it even more baffling reason to reject someone.

My SIL is 6ft and my DB is 5ft 8. She admitted to me she hesitated over his profile but is very glad now that she went ahead and met him. They have been together 17 years and have a lovely son.

Some do. I'm tall. I don't want to be with anyone shorter.

Some people care about height, some don’t. Always have, always will.

Not really much more to it than that.

I don’t think it’s modern. I was born in the 80’s and always been told I will not be able to find a husband because I am not tall like a model. Which is plain weird.

I did have a boyfriend at university that was a tiny bit shorter than me, basically same height. He was v skinny. He was also the kind of man that liked to be mothered. The combination of his smallness and need to be mothered was a huge turn off. I like a man to be big. My husband is 6ft3.

We are all different and what we r attracted to is different. That's ok. Some people like a short man, some like a tall man, some couldn't care less! That's all fine!

I get tall women not wanting to be with men significantly shorter than them. What I don’t get is tiny women who won’t date anyone under 6ft.

Men are hilarious, they should all go into comedy.

'slim, attractive women a good bit younger than me only want six footers. They're so shallow!'

Oh my aching sides.

It’s hardly new! Haven’t you ever heard the phrase “tall, dark and handsome”? It’s been around forever. It’s a personal preference. My ex was short (I’m 5’5” and he was 5’7”) and I hated that if I wore heels I was taller than him. I just didn’t find it sexy. But DH is 6’1” and I get butterflies when I see him standing waiting for me somewhere.

It’s attraction, it doesn’t follow logic!

How odd - I can’t imagine anyone relying on OLD has the ability to be super picky, but basically I guess ruling out on height shows that you’re pretty shallow early on, which is handy to know.

I kind of get it if you’re super tall yourself but it’s such a bizarre thing to be picky about. And most women aren’t super tall!

Some things are deal breakers. Some women can’t stand the thought of marrying a Tory or someone who smokes. It might be that height is the same for others. If something is a turn off then many won’t go in a second date or say no if asked out. Can’t see the problem.

Height certainly isn’t a modern criteria. My Mum’s ballroom dancing partner was a 5ft 10” smoker back in the 50s. She didn’t want to date him for both of aforementioned. She married a tall, non smoking, ginger hair RAF man - my Dad. Red hair wasn’t a deal breaker 😀

It's bizarre. I do think tall women have a difficult time of it but to an extent I think they make their own trouble. Yes, men are generally within a slightly taller range than women but it's not true across the board. My MIL is 6' and FIL is 5'10. When you're 6' you have to assume you're going to always be one of the tallest people in the room, whatever sex you are.

When I was at uni many moons ago there were two stunningly attractive, incredibly tall goth identical twin girls. They were so iconic and untouchable. Someone who knew them personally said their lives were blighted by not being able to find goth men taller than them.

Wonder how they're doing now 😊

There is nothing modern about it. The whole reason why men are on average taller and bigger than women is because the role they played when they were hunters and protecters. A large man was someone you wanted to reproduce with because you would get healthy and robust children. Kind of the same for all mammals. The runt rarely makes it very far.

I think the 5'10" guy had a lucky escape. She seems bonkers. She is eliminating a large proportion of decent men so no wonder she is single.

I am only 5' so I don't care how tall a guy is except I wouldn't want someone who is much over 5'10", although if everything else was right, then it wouldn't matter.

Actually, I am pleased that other women do care about height as it leaves more men for people like me.