To think the modern obsession with people's height is crazy?

[HeightObession]

NC for this.

So, I'm aware this might be an unpopular opinion, but hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks like this.

I was talking to a friend this morning who is OLD at the moment. She was telling me about a guy she'd recently met and had been getting to know. Generally everything was positive - he was kind, funny, they had a lot in common...but the deal breaker? He was 5 ft 10. To her, that was "too short", so she's not progressing things any further. Okay, chances are there were other things that she's not told me about, but am I being unreasonable to think rejecting someone purely on height is totally crazy and superficial?

But she won't be the only one. It seems quite a modern thing that people are obsessed with other people's height. Some will reject a man for being 5 foot 10, but be perfectly happy with someone who is 5 foot 11. And to me, it just seems so trivial - because ultimately, your height has no bearing on who you are as a person, and it is purely a gene lottery what height you are. Most men are the same height they were after reaching puberty 15, 20+ years ago.

And splitting hairs over such a small difference in height just seems bizarre. Can you visually picture the difference between someone is 5 foot 10, and someone who is 5 foot 11? I certainly can't.

I know men often get criticised on OLD for lying about their height, but I feel like these days it's cause and effect. If people didn't reject people over something so superficial, and in many cases over such a small difference in height, then men would be less likely to lie about it, don't you think?

You're being silly.
One can notice a trend within society. If you notice I said almost. I didn't say all. But clearly most hetero women want a man taller. Couples where the man is shorter are mocked.
Are you living somewhere else?

I always much preferred tall men. Doesn’t everyone have physical preferences?

Society or biology ? ( I don't have the answer btw). I remember going onto Wards as a third year medical student and quickly stopping wearing any heels at all as so many male Drs are Asian and with even a small heel I towered above them ( I am 5'5") which was v. uncomfortable for both of us. Height is definitely hard wired into our evolutionary brains.

They are obsessed with it.
My teenage son thinks it's a huge deal, he tells me people don't like short people. We are all short

I don't dislike short people! But as someone very tall for a woman myself, I wouldn't have dated / married a short man. It's a personal choice to me, I don't find smaller men physically attractive so a relationship wouldn't work - I'd have no physical attraction to them.

I'm sure this is quite common from what I've always seen on the dating scene - woman want someone taller than them. Which as the average height of men is taller than women must work in the majority of cases (even if it's not the 6"6 giants everyone seems to want 😂).

It’s incredibly shallow. If a man said he’d only date women who have at least D cup boobs then everyone would moan about how shallow they are. But so many women think it’s fine to dismiss men based on height.

I think height being a thing has been around forever. I was last dating well over 2 decades ago and some of the shorter guys I dated (regular short not growth issues short) there were definitely comments about it by friends which is ridiculous as I'm only 4'11
I think OLD brings weird things out though because of meeting someone (and taking everything in) you get to see stuff written down first and are asked to pick from that first, it forces you to narrow your parameters by it's very nature.
I'm very glad I met DH at a party (he was a bit of a dick but funny enough to go on a date with) , not sure I would have picked him on paper but we're pretty good together.

And is being taller than someone when wearing heels more important than finding a good, loving partner?

Well, as someone who is shorter than average and doesn't care about height, I am really pleased that so many women think that it is more important as it leave more men for me.

I think tall women actually have a pretty hard time dating, as much as short men.
I am average but I prefer a man who is not too much taller than me. Never been out with anyone over 5,11. I like em stocky and swarthy 😀
Also, most things on the internet , including online dating, are total nonsense and to be ignored.

I hear more about this so-called “tall” preference of 6ft tall more online than I do in real life. I had one ex-friend who was obsessed with height, her being 4”11 and the men she dated 6ft. She lived in heels. I think she was just insecure about her height in general. My first boyfriend was taller than her but shorter than me and she was scathing about his height and how could I be attracted to him. He owned his height, confident in himself and it showed. He had no issue with women finding him attractive.

From what I’ve seen, most women desire men taller than them and when you consider that the average height for women on average globally is 5’3” and men 5’7/5’8 (if I remember correctly), not exactly a hard thing to find. Most couples are more equal in height than not.

Height matters if height matters, and this is nothing new. As a 5ft 10 woman that extra inch or 2 makes a big difference to me. Also have to bear in mind if I’m ever wearing heels. It’s not something I’m obsessed with but on the occasions I’ve given it a go with a man who is shorter than me it just hasn’t worked for me, usually there would be other factors at play too of course. I’m guessing your friend is similar op. In addition, I’m sure there are features that you would not accept in a partner which would make no difference to someone else.

See, this wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Everyone is allowed their own preferences when it comes to who they want as a partner - be that height, weight, boob size or penis size 🤷‍♀️

Of course they do - it's only on MN that people like to convince themselves looks don't matter in a partner!

I find it all very horrible nowadays really. It took decades to make racial discrimination, sexual discrimination, religious discrimination, and a good few other things of real importance against the law, hate crimes. But there seems to be a tendency to latch onto other things nowadays, such as not conforming to a fantasy ideal of “perfect”, or even something as trivial as riding a bike, or owning a dog, and for some this has become a focus for something to dislike, in some cases actively hate. Social media is driving a lot of this, but it doesn’t seem to take much before the intolerance of some rises like latent poison. Very very sad.

Someone being shorter than me ( 5ft 9) is a deal breaker. Sorry.

Too many shorter men have "short man syndrome" and I cannot be dealing with that.

It's hardly a new phenomenon, they used to pay footmen more the taller they were!

I guess it does seem silly to dismiss someone based on an inch, but surely it's up to her. There are loads of threads in here about people getting "the ick" from seemingly insignificant things.

I am quite tall and always went for taller guys, I did find it a major factor in attraction to them. Not the only factor, of course, but a pretty significant one.

I'll admit I hope my boys will be on the taller side, especially based on our heights. I think the world is a kinder place to tall men. I also hope they'll be kind, intelligent and friendly for the same reasons. Not the end of the world if they are not any of those things, but I feel they're all the kind of factors that could smooth their ways in life.

People always compare their kids height. That's always used as an indicator of their development and the taller they are the more proud their parents are. No wonder the obsession about height and self worth is tied to height.

That being said. It is one thing to in general to feel attracted to taller men, but for it to be a requirement and a hard pass if they're not above 6" is a bit too much. But I think it is more prominent now due to apps since there is no interaction and decision is based purely on looks and filters you've put. IRL you can't even tell someone's height and personality easily compensates without even consciously thinking about it.

@coffeesaveslives but height isn't looks. There are plenty of very good looking male celebrities who would be dismissed based on the 'no one under six foot' criteria. Zac Efron wouldn't stand a chance!
I think the height thing is barmy. Why does it matter. I'm woman enough to protect myself, why do I need someone who can look like he could protect me? As if some 6"2 skinny art graduate could?

This. My friend and I are both 1,75m. I went out with who then became my husband, who measures 1,72m and my best friend refuses to consider anyone who isn´t taller than her. She has limited herself massively, as not many very tall men in that part of the country. But in the end, you are attracted to who you are attracted to. I decided to give my now husband a chance, and it paid off.

It's just some people's preference. Nothing more. Modern day obsession? No.
I'm 5ft 9, and wouldn't date someone the same height or shorter. Preference.

Is it modern?

YANBU. It's weird, doesn't seem to be a personal preference so much as cultural conditioning for some women.

I much prefer short guys. I don't know why, except perhaps being 5 foot 2, I dislike men who loom over me. Plus a bad experience I had where a guy I once went out with took advantage of his greater height and strength to humiliate me.

Shorter guys rule. Women who won't even countenance a guy under 6 foot are missing out.

No one said it had to matter to you. It matters to others though, and so what?

Yes, I think some people are slightly missing the point here. As I said up thread, I can understand rejecting someone when there is a significant difference that is visually obvious. Can totally understand her rejecting a 5 ft 5 man, for instance.

My confusion is more based on very small differences - rejecting someone for being slightly smaller or slightly taller - or even the same height. If you're compatible in many other ways, rejecting someone over the sake of an inch or two (ooh, matron 😂) just seems very superficial.

I really can't believe that being taller than someone when you're wearing heels - (something you're unlikely to be doing very often anyway, because who the hell wears heels every day when they're with their partner?) would be something you'd choose to reject an otherwise good partner over.

I think the obsession with men over 6ft is relatively modern, simply because men being over 6ft is relatively modern. As recently as 1954 the average height of a UK male was 5ft7. You’d have struggled to find a 6 foot male in hunter gatherer societies.