Mum will not call my son by his actual name

[Cheesybashful]

There more I think about this, the more it is getting to me.

Basically, I had my second child a few months ago, and my mum keeps calling him by other names instead of the one I chose for him. I'm not sure if she is doing it in a cutesy way (I'm not sure how it's cute, but I'm trying to understand her thinking), or is she trying to undermine the name I gave him on some level?

Is this something that happens? They are not cute pet names. They are just literal different names. Such as Johnny or Ellis?

I’d pull her up on it everytime she does it…. If she says (in a sad voice) ‘oh he’ll always be my Georgie or whatever just say very firmly ‘NO MUM, he’s never ever been and will never be a thing except (actual name)…you also need to tell her to stop putting your DH down!

Talk about confuse your son too!
maybe tell her next time she says his name wrong that you think she needs to see a doctor for a dementia assessment !

Communicate. All these things that cause burning resentment would be solved in 5 minutes if people actually communicated!!

Just start calling her by a other name.. "Auntie kamala" .. when she says she doesn't like it you can can respond with a cutesy "well you will always be my little old Kamala".. see how she likes that?! 🤣

Yes 😂 especially if she’s really called Rodney 😉

That’s a bit odd , especially if it’s not a cute nickname like calling him Mr Cutie Pie or cheeky chops or something like that .
Or if he’s named William and she’s calling him Wills , Bill , Billy ?

This is exactly what I was thinking. It may not be malicious, it could be that she has some sort of cognitive issues. Rather than getting upset - try asking other family member whether they've noticed any changes.

I dunno… My mum,dad, grandparents did this with me , my sister, my kids…it’s just a funny thing. I do it myself ( I have no grandchildren yet, though). I’m sure nothing bad is meant, just a bit of fun. I’ve never quite understood people getting so up tight about names and nick-names. In my opinion it shows fondness.

Absolutely this! I'd make a thing of it and call her "Nanny Gwendal-barf" and say its because you like the name and it suits her!!

She does not sound nice Op.. she's your mum and let me tell you, my mum, as big as I am in my 30's to this day KNOWS when I am upset, if ive gone quiet and if i dislike something .. the fact you've asked your mum why, yet she still does it means she doesnt care what YOU think SHE likes Jonny and its HER grandbaby too so she can call him what she likes.. Poor you OP.

I'd hate this a lot. But def think of the ugliest name to give her as a pet name or whatever and start calling your mum by it - I vote for Gwendal- Barf the 1st but Gertrude is just as hideous so take your pick, can swap them for her on diff days 😅

Grandma Dave is here to see you (DS real name).
Give grandma Dave a cuddle (DS real name)..

Every time!!! 🤣🤣🤣.

Not a hill worth dying on. Let it go, pretend not to hear it.

call her Uncle Dave, or something. then just say you like "Uncle Dave" as a name

right. one of my neices has been "Roo" for MANY years now. it's stuck. it's because when she was little, if you pointed at her and said "you do it" about something, she would point at herself and say "Roo do it!"
and she's been Roo ever since. even though that's not her name.
that's a million miles different to say, calling her Emma, when that's not her name.

Her child's name isn't worth sticking up for? Or being concerned for the wellbeing of a woman who is calling her grandchild a totally different name?

The fact her politics seems to have gone from left to right and she’s renaming your dc Elon is a worry. It could be a sign of dementia and if you have siblings definitely worth sharing concerns to see if others have noticed anything as well. It might not just be your family she’s doing odd things with.

alternatively - what social media is she on? I’d be tempted to try to get her phone if she’s got twitter and try to block a few right wingers, follow a few left wing accounts, more UK based journalists or people, and see if she starts getting more balanced views repeated to her. The algorithm will feed you a lot of crap if you let it think you are the slightest bit interested and it can give the impression after a while that this is normal.

Agree with this. "Mum, if you want to visit Johnny you visit Johnny. But if you want to visit Dave, go visit Dave as he doesn't live here".

Buy her this tshirt
https://jimll.co.uk/products/close-your-mind-unisex-t-shirt

My mum uses to call me Flossie aa a nickname or kipper!

I used to live in Greece and generally the eldest grandson was named after the paternal grandfather, next one after the maternal one. My friend was English and her fil had a name that did not really work in English so she called her ds Alexandros. Her ils insisted his name was Alcyviathes and in the end they always called him that and she always called him Alex. I've no idea what he was baptised in the end!

Dm's first cousin had a little girl and we didn't see them much but my ggm told us she had a boy's name Stephanie! Anyway years later we were at a wedding and I found out her name was Joanne.

I have heard of this before but I’m not sure it ever got resolved. My DM’s friend refused to acknowledge her grandson by his given name. I remember being appalled at the time. It was basically very rude. It was, I suspect, partly a reaction to her daughter not being with the Dad and the baby being mixed race. So this baby was never referred to by his given name. The name was not very unusual. No idea if his mum knew this was going on but I think she was being punished. I would insist your baby is called by the name you have chosen. There is no other name available.

Yeah thats weird. Its not like its a nickname thats organically developed. The second half of my daughters name is a boys name that my brother used to call her, it also sounds like a chocolate bar so that is now her nickname from him. If his name is Robert and she's calling him Bob or bobbo or robbie or something I'd think it was cute. But if she's calling him Mike, its just cheeky. And lay the lawn down with her tbh.

Regarding your last post I would sort the mold, get her tested for an uti and get her hormones checked. Those things can really effect a person.

I presume she has form for being ragingly bonkers….? I can’t imagine anything this loopy is an isolated incident.
Just saying that as it can be hard to deal with things like this in isolation when it’s part of a whole pattern of boundary-crossing behaviour from someone.