Mum will not call my son by his actual name

[Cheesybashful]

There more I think about this, the more it is getting to me.

Basically, I had my second child a few months ago, and my mum keeps calling him by other names instead of the one I chose for him. I'm not sure if she is doing it in a cutesy way (I'm not sure how it's cute, but I'm trying to understand her thinking), or is she trying to undermine the name I gave him on some level?

Is this something that happens? They are not cute pet names. They are just literal different names. Such as Johnny or Ellis?

Trump, Elon, Calling your Son other names??

I'd get her assessed for Dementia. She might shut up if you suggest this is her problem.

My SD calls her son by the second half of his double barrelled first name if he doesn’t instantly turn his head to her (he’s 9 months old) or is fixated on what I’m doing. She moans if anyone shortens it and says she doesn’t like it. I get that he’s her son and she named him but on the basis she buggered off and left him at 3 weeks old and me and my husband have him full time I think she’s being a bit hypocritical complaining that she doesn’t want people shortening his name when she does it when he feels he’s not paying her enough attention even though to him she’s just a random person he sees once a week

Gosh op not to worry you but I think a Dr's appointment just to check would be useful. My dad had 2 tias then a more serious stroke and some of this behaviour sounds familiar. Could she be depressed? Equally it could just be getting older and thinking she can do as she likes (my dad tells me this often). I would say you need to put your foot down though on this name issue before your son ends up confused!

My aunt did this with her granddaughter! She hated her name so she called her “peaches” 🤦‍♀️ so rude!

I'd address her as stupid cow OiYou.

This

I second memory difficulties. Perhaps she can’t quite remember whether it’s eg Edward or Edmund and trues to get round the problem with this strategy.

I was with the PPs suggesting calling her other names that aren’t hers, until your update about the changes in her behaviour and opinions (and mopping the walls…). That’s worrying. I hope you can somehow encourage her to get to the doctors for a dementia test.
Otherwise, I would agree calling your son by names she prefers is rude and disrespectful. It’s understandable if a child’s name is something completely out there, of course, but your son’s isn’t.

My grandparents did this with my sister,we each have middle names and for some reason they insisted on calling my sister by her middle name,was infuriating but compared to all my nans other behaviour quite mild actually.

I would ask her if she's forgetting anything else recently...

My Dad chose my name and then called me mostly by a name which can be a pet name or a first name! It must've been pretty confusing to others.

This is an entirely different level. She is either genuinely losing her memory or being deliberately offensive and hurtful. Ask her which it is.

My name is Diana, frequently called Diane as a child, ( I’m 62), I said to my mum about 7, why did you give me a name everyone gets wrong!
My sons had to have easy to spell, and pronounce names, sorted

Although, I have noticed in the last year or so she is like a more extreme version of herself.
This is exactly what I thought of a friend and a few months later she was diagnosed with dementia. She’s had poor mental health all her life, possibly bipolar, but she suddenly became more full on, more insistent on things. Worth keeping an eye on.

I’d choose one phrase and stick to it eg his name is James, mum. Don’t call him anything else it’s just confusing him. And repeat.

Have you tried calling her Richard?

My Sister does this about my DGS, when she asks me about him she will either use another name , the other day is was a girls name 🤷 or she will say something like how is the bambino?, .
His name is a bit different but not difficult and her grandchildren have unusual names. I just think she is losing the plot. But I am going to start correcting her if she can hear me🙄

Start calling her Kamala or Hilary! Seriously though, I think her like of Trump and Elon Musk is very telling. They are the kind of people who will insist that night is day, and have that obnoxious “nobody tells me what to do” attitude, and they seem to attract followers who have the same mindset. Sorry you’re having to deal with this. I hope she sees sense and doesn’t go full-on conspiracy theorist.

Many moons ago, when my firstborn arrived, my FIL started calling her by different names. Their extended family end up being called something entirely different than their given names, more often than not. I wasn't sure if it was just more of the same nonsense, or if he merely enjoyed trying to wind me up. More than likely. Anyway, I very quickly made it more than clear where I stood on the matter. I informed him, in front of the whole family, that should he continue to refuse to call her by the name her father and I chose for her, I'd simply stop bringing her to visit. I wasn't having such pettiness confuse my child. It put a stop to his games pronto, and was never mentioned again.

My Mum did this with my baby because she didn’t like his name. She calls him his name now and he’s 8 months.

My mum initially did this after we had decided on a name. I told her the name and she said, Oo how about (name) or (name) at every opportunity. I firmly told her, no, this is his name and it’s decided. This went on for about a week after the birth. Then she used no name and used to say things like, ‘the gorgeous boy’ or ‘our boy’ which I think was to avoid saying his name. I just didn’t say anything and kept using his name and it didn’t last long and she is absolutely fine now thankfully.

Just be firm. But yes, it’s not nice especially when you are so happy. Good luck!

As another pp said, possible dementia, but regardless, definitely sounds like a mental health issue. I missed it, do you live together? If not, could you reduce contact for a while? Could you then urge her to see a doctor? Tell her she seems off, not like her usual self and you are concerned?

1. call her by different names
2. ask her if she's spoken to the Dr lately and you think she needs an appointment as she keeps forgetting you sons name so you think she's getting senile. Also mention if she's all wanting to babysit etc of course you can't hold him, of course you can't babysit, I'm so worried about your health when you can't even get names right.

Did you give him a silly name? That might explain it. I would struggle to say the name of a close family member if it was bloody ridiculous.

Could she be in the early stages of dementia?

That’s downright inappropriate. Tell her to stop it. My Father did exactly the same with me. I was about 10 before I got to the bottom of it. It turns out he didn’t actually like my given name as he said it was Catholic!! He was Protestant. Screwed me up a bit tbh.

It's a bit weird, and I can't imagine any good reason for doing it

My mother does the same to everyone in the family, including our dog. She creates Nick names such as "elf" for our dog Ellie or Juge for our daughter Georgiana. It bothers me to no end.