Mum will not call my son by his actual name

[Cheesybashful]

There more I think about this, the more it is getting to me.

Basically, I had my second child a few months ago, and my mum keeps calling him by other names instead of the one I chose for him. I'm not sure if she is doing it in a cutesy way (I'm not sure how it's cute, but I'm trying to understand her thinking), or is she trying to undermine the name I gave him on some level?

Is this something that happens? They are not cute pet names. They are just literal different names. Such as Johnny or Ellis?

Does she call your first DC by their actual name? If so I’m guessing she doesn’t like the name you’ve chosen for Dc2.

Start calling her/referring to her by different random names all the time, don’t refer to her as Mum or Grandma/Nan etc -

e.g when she calls DC the wrong name, turn to DC and say “oh isn’t Gertrude* silly getting your name wrong again. Each time she uses the wrong name, say the same thing, but choose a new random name that isn’t her real name or referring to her as Nan/Grandma, whatever her chosen title is.

When she starts challenging the wrong names and why you’re not referring to her as Nan etc, innocently say “oh, I didn’t think we were bothering with actual names, I thought you just preferred choosing what ever random name you like today?”

*choose any random name, the more old fashioned/frumpy the better seems to work 😁

Hey Deirdre can you stop that please his name is Beetroot

Even though you know she is doing it deliberately, I would be inclined to pretend that you are concerned for her poor memory of names an suggest that she might need to see a doctor about her cognitive issues. That will probably make her think twice about doing it, in case you (and other people) really do think she going senile.

Oooh, I like this option too. Start questioning her sanity since she can’t seem to get DC’s name right.

Even better bring up your mum’s memory issues with other family members, siblings, Dad, Aunts, Uncles etc. Asking them if they’ve noticed a similar issue as you’re really concerned. Then maybe all of you having an intervention about her health and the need to see a dr.

if it isn’t an actual medical issue (which I suspect it isn’t), hopefully it will shame her into stopping her dickish move of not respecting your child’s name.

MIL and FIL had pet names for both DH and SIL and she did the same for DS. That’s doesn’t bother me but I am reckoning your Mum doesn’t like the name.

Thanks for the replies. She has said she does like the name I've chosen. But it just won't stop. I said about it to her and how it's a bit ridiculous and got angry. So she stopped for a while, but now has started to do it again with a different name.

She's obsessed with this famous American at the moment, so she has started naming my son after him.

One random name is fine since it's a nickname. My DSis was called Bill by my grandfather and my father all her life (not her actual name obviously). Lots of random names is just weird.

Pet names like Sausage, Angel or Baby bear etc... wouldn't bother me neither would nicknames like maybe Ron instead of Tyrone or even crosses like Tyronesaurus or Tyger etc... as Im a big pet/nicknamer too.

If however DS was Tyrone and she called him Thomas, Oliver or James etc... I would get mad as thats not a cute nickname its just rude.

People did this too me all my life, I have a non English name and people would decide I needed a more 'normal' or 'proper' name (told that many times, people would say calling me a 'fake sounding name' was 'rude') and call me an unrelated name. I HATED is and it was so disrespectful.

Basically it was like Katija but then using Kayleigh, Karen, Sonya, Cadence or Catherine etc... even if I gave them outs and said 'just call me Kat, Katy or Kitty if its easier' (even if I know they call other Cat or Katie etc...) they still would go out of their way to use and emphasize the wrong bloody name as a clear statement of their dislike of my 'weird' name.

I'm afraid you need to correct her every singly time...be relentless and clear with her how offended/angry/pissed off you are.

please don't tell us its Trump 😂

My mum does this with my dd because she doesn't like her name. I just ignore her or as ask "who" until she says Ellie or Eleanor. My mum says her name is boring but my mum would have called her tradgadeigh-mae so I try to not let it completely fuck me off 😂

Early stages of dementia maybe? No short term recall? Keep an eye out for other memory fails? Has she always had an oddness about her?

It's Elon, after Elon musk 🙄

You must start calling her Kamala

This. I'd say it's not worth an argument but question her memory and point out she's going to confuse the child.

So fucking weird. I'd have a right go at her tbh, and normally I'd let stuff like this go.

But consistently just using another name for no reason at all? What is she playing at?!

Pretty sure he's South African

This is very weird, I have heard of nicknames but never an actual different name. And to be honest being obsessed with Elon Musk is also pretty weird. Could she actually have dementia??

Is she using nicknames/cutesy names? Or like calling him William when his name is Matthew?

She's always been what you might call 'quirky'. But the reason I think it might be to undermine me is that when my first child was born, I discussed a couple of names I liked with her and went with one she had brought up... because I liked it. She has always called my daughter by her name. But my sons name wasn't really a suggestion of hers, and I've used an alternative spelling instead of the classic spelling which she preferred. I might add that she doesn't really like my sons father, my DH, very much. Always got something negative to say about him.

But, tbh I really just don't know.

My MIL isn’t my biggest fan but when I met DH she was only in her late 50’s and would purposely call me DH’s ex girlfriend’s name (she didn’t like that poor girl either, but hoped to annoy me). I feigned concern and suggested cognitive testing for early onset Alzheimer’s 😇.

Moral of the story, if your mother isn’t genuinely unwell she’s just being a rude cow. Call her on it.

LOL
Bizarre
I am with PPs on this, its odd.

My eldest is named Glen and when a baby (not aware of his name or words for that matter) he was sometimes called Glencoe or Glen Morangi (probably spelt wrong) but that ceased when still a baby.
Your Mum is acting odd, Op.

She's calling him Elon. That's worse.

I think if you picked daughters name and it was her suggestion, she is now making more suggestions hoping you think it will suit the baby more, maybe she thinks if she suggests one you really like you will change his name

She will get over it eventually

But please don't change it to Elon 😂

After that update I think your mum might be too delusional to reason with.