To ask if you trust men, including your partner/husband?

[YourGreenJoker]

I’ve been reflecting a lot on trust in relationships lately, and it got me wondering about how people view trust specifically when it comes to men - whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or just in general.

Do you trust men, including your partner/husband? Have past experiences made you more cautious, or do you naturally trust until given a reason not to? I feel like society often sends mixed messages about men and trust, and I wonder how other people navigate that.

For those in relationships, has your trust ever been tested, and if so, how did you rebuild it? Or, if you’ve always had full trust, what do you think contributes to that dynamic?

How do you personally handle trust with men in your life?

I don't really trust anyone completely. I suppose I distrust men and women in different ways.

I trust women are more generally open with their feelings. Or at least part of their feelings. I think even when you get 2-faced women, the "fake" bit is often how a different part (even the weaker part) of them feels. I don't think it's as common or as easy for women to completely fake emotion and feel nothing.

I am more suspicious of what women will do in anger or if we fall out. I've learned over the years that having a best friend you tell everything to is a lot riskier when it's a woman as if you fall out it's more likely to mean others will hear all the things you once told them in confidence.

With men I don't think stuff like that is as common. "Breaking up" (platonically or otherwise) is often less dramatic and a lot colder. I do distrust men and wouldn't be surprised if they disappeared coldly or suddenly ceased to care. I have seen it many times in my relationships and friendships with men. I feel they detach a lot easier.

When men tell me how they feel I believe it less and I am much more prepared for the possibility of finding out they've lied about their feelings. Eg it feels common to hear men blindside their wives with "I've been unhappy for years" and the wives had no idea.

I trust DH more than I trust most people. That's not completely though. I'm still very prepared for him to leave suddenly. I always have in mind that I need to maintain the best position for me and my son if we were to ever divorce. Eg I'd be unlikely to agree to him being the breadwinner or agree to move countries for his work etc.

I trust the men in my family. Have to say that :)

In the nineties I was a "pick me" girl. It made me realise that most men would cheat if they got the chance because even though I never slept with a married man, they'd confide in me about things they'd done. They're not all like that but at least fifty percent are.

I do trust my DH. That's not to say I can ever 100% say he won't do something stupid, because who can say that about anyone? But I don't think he would, and he's the most wonderful man I've ever met. Which I am also very aware lots of women have said about their own husbands who have then chosen to cheat, but what else can we do but choose to trust what we're presented with?

He's never given me a reason to worry. In previous relationships, I always saw and heard things that made me feel like I was walking a tightrope. He's never done that, not even once. It sounds trite, but he does adore me and it shocks me sometimes how he can behave as lovingly as he does. He's never been just a husband, he's my dearest friend, and it's very hard to describe without sounding gushy.

It was his ex (friend of mine) who actually introduced us, which was a huge green flag for me. He just wasn't her type, she wanted someone a bit more up for a party and that wasn't DH, but he remained good friends with her. That was a show to me that he was a good person, and she told me how well he treated her too.

It wasn't easy learning to trust, because I've had various bad relationships (one badly abusive), but he just kept being consistent. Very romantic, very kind, very honest to the point of possible embarrassment for him. It hit me one day that this was someone with no bad intentions.

Again, who can ever, ever say what the future holds? All I can do is trust what he shows me, and I've been very happy with it for ten years so far.

I can’t say I 100% trust anyone, men or women. The only person I fully trust is myself.

I trust them as much as I trust women.

I trust my DH and my FIL and that's all. Certainly not the men in my family.

Yes I trust men and I obviously trust my DH or I wouldn’t be married to him

No I do not trust men or indeed women. I truly see this as a people issue rather than as a sex-related one. Yes, the majority of violence and cheating in relationships does seem to come from men (I'm not so sure about the cheating one though) but I think that is more to do with more opportunity and being less likely to face bad consequences if caught than it is to do with anything else - I can acknowledge a role for hormones too but not for any sort of male moral inferiority.

My DH is, I believe, a pretty good person and I believe he meant his wedding vows to me. I also believe that he would be capable of breaking those vows in the right life circumstances. I also believe the same of myself and of most people on the planet.

You can, if you wish, think me very cynical.

I saw The Whistleblower last night. I'm not sure I trust myself to answer that question right now, after researching the true story behind it. Although, my husband was horrified by it too, so I suppose that's something.

The company involved appear to have managed to find an awful lot of male pedophile rapists to fill their private police force with while the rest were willing to cover it up. If men are so trustworthy and there are so few creeps in society, that company had some very shitty interviewers, really bad luck, didn't give a shit or all three.

The fact is, what happened with trafficked exploited girls in Bosnia isn't even remotely unique. Give men an opportunity to be vermin and watch them go. Men are trustworthy, my arse.

I think trust is an interesting concept. The idea that you have to blindly trust your partner 100% or it's not a real relationship is ridiculous to me.

No, I've seen a lot of deception and the only people I can totally trust are my family. Males: just my son.

I think that people who say they totally trust their partner are either lying or being incredibly naive.

This ☝sadly.....

I trust my current DH 100%. I didn't trust my XH, which is one of the reasons he is my XH.
Other men, depends on who they are and what they do, same as for women. I don't not trust them just because they are men.

Seeing as I've just found out my husband and best friend of 26yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with no signs at all then, no I don't trust any men anymore.

I don't trust men at all anymore. I think they ultimately do whatever they want and will lie easily to make their own lives easier, regardless of 'the right thing' or whom they might hurt should the truth come out.

Makes me a little sad that this is how I feel. I've turned into a stereotypical, man hating, menopausal woman.

How many men have affairs? It’s absolutely mind blowing. It’s like some shit club I don’t want to be part of (but am). I never realised how common it

Plenty of reasons from early childhood and upto young adulthood that no I don't trust men. Yes some are OK, kind, considerate caring but the bad ones play that character too. You just never know.

Yes and no, I don't go around worrying DP is going to cheat or treat me badly but I think anyone could cheat. However I don't fully trust him with anything important that requires organisation or probably with certain feelings I would feel very vulnerable and uncomfortable sharing. I think he would be upset to hear I don't trust him fully and I think the trust was there to start with and was lost with certain actions

Depends on what level - I don’t trust any man not to cheat. If given the opportunity and think they’d get away with it the vast majority will.

Do you trust men, including your partner/husband? Have past experiences made you more cautious, or do you naturally trust until given a reason not to? I feel like society often sends mixed messages about men and trust, and I wonder how other people navigate that.

Bit difficult to be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust isn’t it?

Given that they cheat with women (unless they're gay) then men should have the same worries.

I trust my Dad. Other than that, absolutely not.

They were also people’s husbands, dads, brothers, colleagues.

I trust my dad and a couple of close male friends, but otherwise no not really.

You can trust someone as much as you want but at the end of the day we are all human and flawed.

Nope