To ask if you trust men, including your partner/husband?

[YourGreenJoker]

I’ve been reflecting a lot on trust in relationships lately, and it got me wondering about how people view trust specifically when it comes to men - whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or just in general.

Do you trust men, including your partner/husband? Have past experiences made you more cautious, or do you naturally trust until given a reason not to? I feel like society often sends mixed messages about men and trust, and I wonder how other people navigate that.

For those in relationships, has your trust ever been tested, and if so, how did you rebuild it? Or, if you’ve always had full trust, what do you think contributes to that dynamic?

How do you personally handle trust with men in your life?

I 100% agree with this. I never really thought about it and would have said yes of course I trust my husband etc but many years ago I was awfully betrayed by a previous partner who honestly treated me like I was a queen and who beforehand, I always thought I could trust him totally.

Since then, I do not trust anyone one hundred percent. Yes, day to day I say I trust my family and husband etc but deep down, you never totally know what goes on in someone’s head and I think anyone is capable of breaking that trust.

Totally trust my DH and my Dad.

Never doubted them.

I take people as I find them. There is good and bad across the board.

I don't think I automatically trust men less than women because I generally don't trust anyone until I get to know them a bit better.

I am generally trusting (of men and women) and I trust my husband. Never had any reason to mistrust men as a sex.

I agree with that. I trust my DH sufficiently for us to have a loving, respectful relationship but I am not so naive to believe that he couldn’t betray me. I don’t think he will though, and I don’t live in fear of it.

Other men, there are some that I sense are honest and loyal and others who give themselves away. A stray comment, a stray hand… The age I am now, the experiences I have had, I know when I have more cause to be wary, but I find it better not to let my guard down. That sounds bleak but it’s most women’s reality.

I don’t have complete trust in any other human, and that comes from bitter experience, as I have been through several very deep betrayals in my lifetime. I trust my husband mostly, but not completely.

I have awful trust issues which stem back to childhood abandonment so I find it hard to trust people in general, I completely trust my partner though, although it's taken me time to separate distrust and intrusive thoughts. I used to think that my intrusive thoughts meant that I didn't trust him but with a lot of work and CBT I've learned how to separate the two!

Only my sons

This is really true. I've had a few male friends like that too.

Among my friends and acquaintances there are those I'd trust to do the moral thing, those to do the professional thing and those to have my best interests at heart. Those things are overlapping but ultimately very different.

Trust in a romantic relationship is a choice that you have to live by, not a logic to be dissected. Rationally no, of course you can't trust anyone 100%. But acting on trust and more importantly living by it is something you have to do without full knowledge, that's the point.

If I acted on the seed of rational mistrust about anyone I would drive myself insane - which I see a lot of people do about their partners. Monitoring them, checking on their messages etc. Choosing to trust someone is something you do for your own benefit, really.

No. I thought my husband could be trusted and after 23 years it turned out he couldn't.

I trust my husband, I wouldn't be with him if I didn't.

It might turn out I'm wrong to trust him of course - but unless that happens I'm not going to worry about it.

I trust DH and my DDad. I don't trust all men, nor do I trust all women for that matter.
This may not be quite what you're asking, but I do think that men are generally much more shallow than women and more likely to be unfaithful or have their heads turned by someone they find sexually attractive.

I view most men as potential predators. My life experience reinforces that belief.

Individual men, like my DH, can earn my trust. A man has to have a huge amount of trust from me for me to sleep without a locked door between us. I always keep my guard up a tiny bit though and I’m always financially and mentally prepared to leave or kick DH out if he ever shows signs of being violent.

This

Some I do. Some I don’t.

my own husband? Yes, 100%

The only man in the world I trust 100% is DH. (And, I hope, my son when he's an adult). Other men I trust for some things, but DH I fully trust in all situations

I trust my husband generally but I've seen so much appalling behaviour from male colleagues 'the perfect husband types' that I know not to be naive. Nothing would surprise me anymore.

The amount of men who causally cheat is actually mindblowing when you start seeing it. I'm early 40s and only started noticing it about a decade ago.
I should add the amount of women too is shocking but they're massively outnumbered by men's bad behaviour in my line of work.

I trust my husband and some men. I usually think I can tell who I can trust now, I'd say I trust about 20-30%, many I can't tell and some I get a very bad vibe.

I'd be an idiot to trust my husband because he has cheated on me. I don't check up on him though, I don't want to live in that way. In general I think people hide things if they want to, most people hide something, sometimes big, sometimes small, sometimes many things. You can never see all of a person. I trust him to want the best for us and to have good intentions. I think perhaps that often intentions are all you can really 'trust' in. Everyone makes mistakes. There's a lot of dark in some people and a little bit in most people.

Yes. Most men in my life are great guys and I trust them. My DH, DF, DFIL, friends of 15+ years from university, friends husbands, colleagues.... Very few men have given me a reason to distrust them.

No. And we would be wrong to trust them.

1/3 men would commit rape if they thought no one would ever know.
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/a-third-of-male-university-students-say-they-would-rape-a-woman-if-there-no-were-no-consequences-9978052.html

1/3 women are assaulted. Those stats correlate. And yet every man we know “would never do that”. But it has to be someone. The likelihood is that it is men we know and love. They may not know they are doing it, they might not think being coercive or manipulative is wrong or that their action fits the description of sexual assault but there isn’t a tiny evil minority of men sexually assaulting a whole third of women in the world. It’s men we consider “nice and normal”.

So no. I don’t trust any man sadly.

No. Not my dad and not my husband. And not my Father in law - who I wouldn’t trust with my dead hamsters ashes

The amount of men who causally cheat is actually mindblowing when you start seeing it. I'm early 40s and only started noticing it about a decade ago.
I should add the amount of women too is shocking but they're massively outnumbered by men's bad behaviour in my line of work.

If they're cheating then they're usually cheating with women so it's probably pretty even. I think the big difference is women tend to go under the radar. There were a couple of occasions when affairs came to light at work, the men were 'spoken to', the women were ignored.

I trust men. I think I've been very lucky though to have a great relationship with my father, uncles and brothers.

My husband is amazing and I trust him.

This.