To ask if you trust men, including your partner/husband?

[YourGreenJoker]

I’ve been reflecting a lot on trust in relationships lately, and it got me wondering about how people view trust specifically when it comes to men - whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or just in general.

Do you trust men, including your partner/husband? Have past experiences made you more cautious, or do you naturally trust until given a reason not to? I feel like society often sends mixed messages about men and trust, and I wonder how other people navigate that.

For those in relationships, has your trust ever been tested, and if so, how did you rebuild it? Or, if you’ve always had full trust, what do you think contributes to that dynamic?

How do you personally handle trust with men in your life?

I trust my husband, father-in-law, brother-in-law on sister's side but not on DH side. I think DH brother would sell us out for a couple of quid.

I don't trust anyone except my parents 100% and I don't trust anyone at all when they're drunk, including myself.

I mostly trust my DH not to cheat but realistically I know so many women have been blindsided by their husbands leaving so I know it could happen to me too. Someone my relative works with recently went home to find her husband had packed up and ran off abroad with a younger woman while she was at work. They had been together for decades and had children together.

Ultimately you don't know what's going on in someone's head.

I don't have a partner but I trust my dad to always be there for me.

Literally just had someone bang on my door really loud, scared the be Jesus out of me and it's just me and DD here. I called my dad and didn't ask him to come round (my parents are 11 doors away) he was dressed and came down to take a look in 4 minutes no questions asked. Turns out some twat had kicked my frontdoor twice and left 2 fuck off boot prints on my door. I've never had a problem before but the people that lived here before (15 years ago) were questionable and occasionally get bailliffs, as are the people who live at the same door number on a nearby, similarly named road, I've had the police here mistakenly for them.

That must place an awful lot of unnecessary pressure on your DH... Surely you should trust him unless he gives you cause no to.

Keeping a close eye on him isn't fair in a healthy relationship. If you have to keep that tighter eye on him, why are you with him?

I trust nobody, thanks to an abusive childhood and abandonment.

I trust my husband but I've been shaken by what's happened in a friend's marriage recently. Her ver religious husband of over 20 yrs at age 61 got a 23 year old girl pregnant. I still cannot get my head around it.

I'm sorry to say I dont.

My father, brothers and males growing up weren't to be trusted and the vast majority of men in my life both personally and professionally are absolute bollixes or really weak characters.

There's lots of ways you can trust (or mistrust) someone - to be reliable, to be honest, to be faithful, to be kind, to remember things, to be competent, not to fuck things up, and so on.

An ex of mine had most of those qualities, but I couldn't trust him not to bungle things or to just get on and sort something out effectively, and that was a huge turn-off.

But if you mean what we generally think of as "trustworthy" then no, I don't trust most men.

I trust my DH,DS,dad and brothers 100% . I would actually prefer to trust and be disappointed than to live with distrust.
Maybe because I married my first boyfriend and have no history of being let down by a man, it is maybe easier?!

I trust my husband and I trusted my dad but I’m wary of men in general.

I don’t trust men in general except for my own sons. I’ve learned this by experience over many yesrs. Too often in the past I have trusted men who were entirely untrustworthy. I’m too old now for such naive nonsense.

What do you mean by trust? Are you asking about affairs?

I've had a quite a few married men try it on with me before

Mostly the usual sleazes that everyone can spot a mile off, but also a couple of well loved, upstanding, intelligent men, in good jobs, who on the surface, appear to be in very happy, loving relationships with their wives. The sort of men who I would never, ever believe to be cheaters, if they hadn't tried it on with me.

Its eye opening and has certainly affected my trust of men

No I don't.

I don't trust anyone until I feel they are.
I do trust dh and the men (and women) in my life are trustworthy.
I have a friend who trusts easily and always gets hurt. She thinks I'm too cynical and is still ready to trust when I think she should feel people are untrustworthy
Whereas I, who has trustworthy people in my life, doesn't trust easily.

I learnt the hard way that you can trust very few people, regardless of their sex.

But when dating, I'm alert to any red flags that could signal future violence, whereas when making a new female friend, I don't usually worry that she might beat me up. So in that sense, I guess I trust men less than women.

Completely depends on the context.
I probably trust my husband more than I trust anyone else in the world however there are instances where I don't. I have had my trust betrayed by him a couple of time but it was in minor ways. I 100% trust him not to cheat or to physically harm me etc..
However he has lied to me about small things on a couple of occasions over the years. Basically because he couldn't be arsed dealing with a negative response from me. It does make me sad.. I wish he did have my absolute trust. But for anything genuinely important I do trust him to have my back. And I trust he does love me.

As for men in general...
I don't actually put a lot of consideration into trust. I think given the right conditions anyone is capable of anything. But I use this to approach everyone from a place of initial trust. Just as a personal choice because that's what I think benefits me most. I don't want to be constantly paranoid and distant etc
I'll give people my absolute trust until given reason not to. I won't be shocked when given reason not to! But I approach everyone with trust

Despite having encountered many abusive men. Physically, sexually and psychologically.
I make myself expect better. If people let me down that is their problem.

The difference between partners and other men is that their love and care is conditional and often transitory. So, while we can trust a good father for all of his life, we can trust our partner only as long as we retain his love.

I think the prevalence of absent, abusive and unreliable fathers/men who only show up as Disney Dads when it suits them shows that good fathers are just as rare as good husbands tbh.

Trust them to what? Your question is too vague.

Yet another annoying AIBU that's not an AIBU.
You do know that there's a relationships board OP?

No no and no. Just no. I have had lots of prior experiences that contribute to this but the male species isn't trustworthy to me regardless.

I dont trust anyone (male or female) 100%. Noone can ever know what goes on in anyone else's head. I trust my husband 99% which is as much as I'd trust anyone. In my head, I balance trusting people on the basis that their actions match their words and 99% is a risk I am willing to take because there are no guarantees in life.

No matter how much you love someone there is always a tiny chance they might betray you because noone on this planet is perfect and people make mistakes. That does not mean I am always suspicious or anything, I generally dont even think about it in daily life but I am aware that it's a small possibility.

My husband had an affair I no longer trust him. I love him and we are still together. The knowledge that he put himself before me & the kids for a long time has taken the trust away.
Prior to that I didn't particularly trust men or women most people are just out for themselves.

I trust DH, DS and 2 of my DB. That is it.

Overall it has been women (and girls before then) that I don't trust. Can't keep anything private and the nastiness/ jealousy at the school gate, nursery pick up etc was horrendous.
It is only fairly recently that I have had some lovely female friends.
Most of the men I know have been fine (often geeks)