SIL having a party on brother’s birthday

[StarAstrid]

Just really interested to hear opinions on this.
My SIL (49) has decided to have a big party to celebrate her 50th birthday. She has decided to hold it on my DH’s (her brother’s) actual birthday as it’s a Saturday. Her birthday is 2 weeks later but she is busy then. My DH is annoyed that she has booked this date as birthdays are rarely on a Saturday and neither of his parents or any other family members think it’s an issue for her to hold the party on his birthday. He says that’s not how he wants to celebrate his birthday and so at the moment he won’t go. Is he being unreasonable or would you also be annoyed if your sibling did this? Thanks for reading.

It’s her 50th and this is the date that works. Your husband is being a bit childish.

Is it DHs special birthday too? What were you planning to do?

Can you turn it into a joint party?

I think HIBU.
It's her 50th. Can't he just go and enjoy her party then do something for his birthday the following weekend? He is not 7.

Your husband is being ridiculous

Your DH is being silly.

I wouldn’t be at all upset by this at all
your DH sounds petty
is he usually?

What are his birthday plans? I think it's completely fine if he doesn't go. It's not like he's married to her.

SIL is being a diva. It’s just awkward to go to a party with everybody celebrating somebody else’s birthday on your birthday. Is he supposed to pretend his birthday isn’t happening?

I’m guessing there’s a back story of sibling rivalry here. Is your DH planning a big party too and now no one will go to his party? If she sorted this event before DH organised anything then yes he is being unreasonable and childish too.
The date suits her so I don’t see a problem at all. He doesn’t have to go.

Your dh is being precious. Unless it's a milestone birthday for him too, he shouldn't have a problem conceding his birthday to her party this year.
He can celebrate the Friday night/Saturday day if he wants to do something for it.

I think he should go and celevrate, both birthdays, with the whole family!

It does sound like she's trying to steal any attention from her brother's birthday OP, so I can understand why he's a bit pissed off. However, perhaps she thought it would be nice to have a kind of joint celebration, but if that's the case, she really should have contacted her DB and asked if he was happy to do that. Also, why is she already busy on her birthday? Has she got other plans for celebrating her birthday on the actual day, as well as having the party on her brother's birthday? If so, then it does sound like she really does want to be centre of attention. Just my thoughts, I'm sure lots will disagree.

He will have a ready made party to go to on his birthday. I'd see that as a win.

Given he's an adult, I'm sure he would survive the ordeal.

Depends on so much.
Is it a special birthday for DH ?
Has he already made plans to celebrate his birthday?
What would he want to do instead?
Is he close to his sister, do they usually celebrate occasions together?

I think to be polite she should have asked him if it's OK.

But that if she had asked, he absolutely should have answered that it's fine.

My husband's been to someone else's party on his own birthday. It was lovely, they produced an extra cake for him as a surprise which was a nice touch. No egos involved on either side.

I think your husband's being a bit precious but if he doesn't fancy going then easy enough to say no thanks, we have our own plans.

Exactly how most people would see it…

No of course not. If anyone mentions it’s his birthday too he graciously acknowledges it and maybe makes an amusing joke about his sister making it easy for him to see all his family without him having to organise it. Then he should divert attention back to his sister whose 50th birthday celebration it is.

Is it his 50th too?

What’s the backstory?

No I wouldn't be annoyed if my sibling did this.

I'd be chuffed that there was a party on my birthday that I probably wouldn't have to pay for. Or pay as much for.

My family would know it was my birthday so they'd wish my happy birthday no doubt .

So.
Party on my birthday
family all there
Less expensive
I don't have to tidy up.

Not seeing a downside here.

I honestly can't believe anyone would make a fuss about this. Yes it's his birthday but she chose a date that worked and it's a big birthday, it's pretty normal to celebrate them on an alternative date. I'm guessing his is not a big birthday in which case why not just go along celebrate and enjoy the party.

Who are these people? I've hardly ever met an adult who gives two hoots about their own birthday, especially men. Most people just happily ignore.