SIL having a party on brother’s birthday

[StarAstrid]

Just really interested to hear opinions on this.
My SIL (49) has decided to have a big party to celebrate her 50th birthday. She has decided to hold it on my DH’s (her brother’s) actual birthday as it’s a Saturday. Her birthday is 2 weeks later but she is busy then. My DH is annoyed that she has booked this date as birthdays are rarely on a Saturday and neither of his parents or any other family members think it’s an issue for her to hold the party on his birthday. He says that’s not how he wants to celebrate his birthday and so at the moment he won’t go. Is he being unreasonable or would you also be annoyed if your sibling did this? Thanks for reading.

He's being an absolute fanny

He sounds rather pathetic. Is he normally this childish?

I think it's odd to have a party two weeks before tbh.

What's she doing on her actual bday do you know?

How dies your husband want to celebrate his bday?

Does she have form for this? If yes , then fuck that shit. He should make his own plans and do what he wants.

If it's genuinely a one off and only way she could have her big party for her 50's , then he should suck it up.

She could have easily picked the week before or the week after.

This happened to my DP. Their brother celebrated his big birthday early on DP actual birthday. No one wished DP happy birthday even though parents were there.

Brother than had another party on their actual birthday and then the weekend after a weekend away that everyone was invited to!

DP didn't get to celebrate their birthday that year except with me at home.

My brother in law threw a milestone birthday party on my DPs (his brothers) birthday, also on the Saturday night, their birthdays are only 2 days apart, my DP was furious and we didn’t go. I thought he was being precious and we should have gone but he was adamant about it.

Your DH is being childish.
This year DD9 went to someone else's birthday party on her actual birthday. It was actually one of her closest friend's, her birthday is a week before DD's but she was ill on her actual birthday week so the party was postponed. It was fine. DD had a little celebration with family the day before.

Also at the party, just after we sang happy birthday to her friend and the cake got whisked away, friend's mum got everyone to sing for DD too which DD didnt expect but it made her really happy
If a 9 year old girl can accept that just because its her birthday doesnt mean everythings about her and goes by the wayside, then DH can too.

Tell your husband, don't go. Go pub on his own and sulk over his pint or something 😂

I'd be delighted - everyone will bring him presents too and he'll be spoiled because she arranged it that way. And he gets a great party, with people he'll like, on his birthday. It's ideal isn't it?

I'd love this! Get to party on my birthday but don't actually have to do any of the planning. Anyway, my 30th was in lowdown (boo) and I haven't really been super fussed about birthdays since I was about 19 so, couldn't get worked up about this.

How old is your husband? 12?

Just make sure he wears a birthday badge so everyone knows it’s his birthday😀

No, its HER party, not his.
DH shouldnt expect presents at a party that isnt his, regardless of whether its technically his birthday or not.

It’s on him if he couldn’t organise a night out with friends, if he’d wanted to.

It didn’t have to be on his actual birthday, he wasn’t turning five.

Yup!

Depends.

What were his plans for his birthday? Was he planning a party? How does he usually celebrate his birthday?

Reading your post gives me the feeling that he is annoyed that his sister took the initiative to plan a party for herself. The only reason it is on his birthday is because his birthday happens to be on a Saturday. Unless there is some backstory, doesn’t read like she did it to upset him.

Why do you assume that? Plenty of people get ignored in similar circumstances because despite being their actual birthday , it's not their party and all the attention is for the host.

Joint party if most of the family guests would attend both? If not I'd go (with a cake for DH) and make sure they sang happy birthday to your DP and then have another party for his friends on her actual birthday!

So many pouty little boys on this thread, despite being old enough to be married.
So unattractive.

Really unatttactive. I’d be quite horrified if DH acted like this - ew.

Mature adults would make it a joint party, mingling their social circles. It could be fun.

@AutumnLeaves24 it could be her brothers wife?

Oh my god this is terrible advice.
Do NOT bring a cake for DH. Do NOT insist on him being sung happy birthday to. Its not his party.
Besides, bringing a cake for DH along suggests that SIL's cake isnt good enough for DH.

HIBU. He sounds about 12.