SIL having a party on brother’s birthday

[StarAstrid]

Just really interested to hear opinions on this.
My SIL (49) has decided to have a big party to celebrate her 50th birthday. She has decided to hold it on my DH’s (her brother’s) actual birthday as it’s a Saturday. Her birthday is 2 weeks later but she is busy then. My DH is annoyed that she has booked this date as birthdays are rarely on a Saturday and neither of his parents or any other family members think it’s an issue for her to hold the party on his birthday. He says that’s not how he wants to celebrate his birthday and so at the moment he won’t go. Is he being unreasonable or would you also be annoyed if your sibling did this? Thanks for reading.

yes I agree, I find it a bit unbelievable that there were no other suitable Saturdays and she had to make it all about her on his birthday.

hope he unapologetically does his own thing

Is your DH 6?

One friend’s birthday is six days after mine. I can’t imagine arranging a party for myself on her birthday and inviting her and our mutual friends to celebrate “my special day”. Irrespective of whether my new age had a “0” in it, I think that would be strange, self-centred behaviour.

I am really surprised the vote is only 2 to 1.

Your dh is being really childish.
There are lots of things you have to tie together to host a party - parties are rarely on the actual day. The same as most people's celebrations (meal with spouse or whatever) are rarely on the day.

If I were your dh I'd be chuffed there was a party to go to, and then I'd do the easier to arrange meal, or whatever on another day.

You’re not her husband though and maybe he doesn’t want to be at a party on his birthday and had planned other ways to celebrate?

What’s to stop him going ahead with his own plans? Absolutely nothing.

Be a bit weird to have your 50th three months after the actual date 🤣 I think the big birthday is as big an excuse as there could be!

They've had half a century to learn to cope with their close together birthdays. I'm sure they can accommodate each other.

I was responding to the poster suggesting he should be pleased there is a party on his birthday who I quoted, and yes I’m aware of that too.

That's what he intends to do, but apparently if he does not attend it will cause an argument.

What if his plans were to take his wife/parents/siblings out for a meal, he can't now as everyones invited to her party instead.

I really don't see why everyones lept on 'cleverly' asking if he is 6/12 etc.. he's only said its not how he wants to celebrate his birthday, and that he won't be attending.

I don't see where he's thrown a massive strop, sent rude messages, gone off in a sulk etc etc.

OP has said very little, some of you lot are (rather viciously in some cases!) inventing a whole load of stuff that just isn't there!

It probably won’t. And what if it does?

I have 2 siblings and a husband within a few days of my birthday, if we were like this we’d all have disowned each other from the age of 4 so I think your dh is being ridiculous. As it is my dh and I have to share our birthday all the time.

Well that's the question isn't it?

DH is saying he doesn't want to go and wants to do his own thing instead. I think that's fine.

I also think its understandable that he feels put out because his sister planned her party, on his birthday, without even asking his availability, and seemingly expects him to attend.

Edit - @SilverChampagne

I know, always the case on here though that most posters create their own backstory to validate their crazy thoughts

@SilverChampagne, the party holders were classmates who I knew, but weren't close enough friends for them to want to include me (it was suggested but they were Bally for me to be an invitee). we had a mutual friends group between us who were torn about what to do and I felt 2:1 outnumbered me.

This tell him to grow up

To those saying he's being precious, ridiculous etc. and it's her birthday. It's not her birthday ffs. Her birthday is 2 weeks later. She's at it. What a cow.

My sister celebrated her 50th on my 48th birthday as the weekend worked for her. I was happy to celebrate with her. Our birthday are 6 days apart. I was very happy to celebrate her landmark birthday with her. It should not be a big deal if the siblings get on well.

...if the siblings get on well...

As the OP hasn't clarified we have no idea how well they normally get on, but there isn't much to suggest they do get on well, what there is, I think, suggests they do not.

If you don't get on well with your sibling then them holding their big party on your birthday might well be a big fat kick in the tits!

Ffs. Anyone over the age of 10 who thinks their birthday is sacred needs a kick up the arse.

Sorry I'm with the husband here. Sister is selfish and unfair it's not her actual birthday it's her brothers

🙄

Yet SIL’s birthday is so important that the celebrations need to start two weeks beforehand (I don’t believe for a moment that she won’t celebrate on the actual day as well).

She can do what she wants. It's her 50th and she's busy on the actual day (yes, prob having another celebration). One's birthday is not a state occasion. Her brother can choose not to go if he's so offended.

I agree. I’m quite bemused by the outrage. Also the ‘hurt’ when someone dares to get married on a family member’s birthday 😏
Grow up!