to expect dd to open up and explain her ways /odd behaviours

[ForZanyMember]

DD 15 wonderful in many ways I guess however some of her lifestyle habits concern me a little.

I understand we are all unique. She is nothing like I was at her age which of course is not a bad thing however I do worry that everything is okay. She is quiet by nature and probably the opposite to typical 15 year old girl in that she has zero interest in shopping, clothes, girly things, boys, makeup e.t.c. for me she actually spends an UNHEALTHY amount of time studying/doing homework. Along with this she has what I would say are quite unusual interests for a 15 year old girl. She is obsessed with certain topics such as biology, history and geography. She watches documentaries on these topics on a daily basis in her room with a notepad taking notes. She is also really into what I can only describe as strange programs that involve midwifery/nursing/human biology/baby making/ all things to do pregnancy. She also watches documentaries on deprived areas and troubled youths.

Maybe I'm overthinking things but I just really don't understand where these interests come from and why she spends so much of her time studying these topics. I am just a little concerned that's all. I would image most 15 year old girls spend their time out with their friends and stuff doing teenage activities.

Is she happy? Content? Struggling to cope with life? Does she like school? Have friends?

Wow! Your daughter is most certainly not odd!!! She is instead, clearly a very clever and mature young lady who is interested in the world. To call an interest in History and Geography odd- well I find it odd you would think this interest is odd! I’m a teacher and loads of girls I teach are exactly the same,- a love of learning. I was /am also the same as your daughter. Learning was also my escape from anxiety. You should be praising your daughter. Please never tell her what you think of it all.

Be very careful what you wish for.

Can I do a swap with you!?

Don't make her grow up too soon, that will all come.

You are so lucky that she is taking her studies seriously, so many Don't and completely throw it all away.

You're pretty much describing my 15 year old son, can't say I ever thought there was anything amiss. I might not understand why he wants to watch maths problems on YouTube, but it makes him happy so I don't need him to explain it!

You can't really explain why you like/don't like certain things, you just do or don't. Surely you have the capacity to understand that different people like different things?!

She's probably using "homework" as an excuse to just do her own thing in her room, or not have to go out! She sounds perfectly lovely.

Your DD is content and has her own (fantastic!) interests yet you want to change her in order to fit the typical 15 year old girl cliché? You are being absolutely ridiculous and incredibly immature OP. What sort of example are you setting for your poor DD? I feel sorry for her if this is really the way that you feel!

I would be thrilled if my daughters ended up like yours.

Why does she have to justify what she is interested in?

Honestly I don't think she sounds odd, I think you sound odd.

Oh I think the things she's watching sound really interesting!

It depends - does she seem happy in herself, or does she seem sad/lonely?

Her interests honestly sound far more interesting than makeup, clothes and shopping.

Oh wow! She sounds incredible! Very mature, sensible, caring. Perhaps she's interested in supporting woman's healthcare in deprived countries. She might go into aid work or something when she's older!

I get your concern, but really I'd suggest going out for coffee with her and telling her how proud you are of her studies and her mature approach, and then ask her to tell you about what she's passionate about. See if you can support her by looking for voluntary jobs together in local charities related to her interests? Or research gap year volunteer experiences like VSO.

I bet she'd love to know you're interested and want to help her pursue her interests.

She sounds really cool OP! You've done a great job raising such a lovely human 👍

(And the friends and socialising etc.. will come when she meets her people! Maybe when she's overseas in the future with like-minded peers!)

My 15 year old son could be described as having unusual interests. He’s extremely interested in philosophy, socialism, and ethics. He watches podcasts on niche subjects such as brutalist architecture and African dictators. He has a lot of friends, they accept him as he is. I think your daughter sounds wonderful. As a teacher I meet a lot of girls who have no interest in anything other than fashion or boys. You should be proud of her.

She sounds lovely! Intelligent, conscientious & interested in the world around her. It’s great that she has such diverse interests already. Why do you want her to be interested in more shallow things?!

Why does a teeange girl have to bit put in a,box to act the same as every other teenage girl, so she doesn't fit in the box you picked for her so she is the one in the wrong?

I am not certain if she is happy and content I only hope she is. She says she "doesn't mind" school, in parents evening teachers always give amazing feedback and say she even is brilliant at helping and assisting with other students helping to explain the work. She has a very small circle of friends and they are not all girls which I find a little odd, not the fact that she has guy friends the fact that the majority of her friends are not girls it's around 50/50 I would say

You are complaining cause your DD prefers to learn about the world instead of being into lipstick

🤦‍♀️

I grew up with interests different to my peers and was deemed odd. For years it gave me a complex, thankfully now I can enjoy these interests without feeling like this.

Please just accept her and be glad her interests make her happy and aren't harmful in any way, I mean, why would you want to question what you deem odd? What would you be hoping to achieve by questioning them and why do you need to understand?

They make her happy, leave her be.

You sound like the kids that gave me a complex for years and you want to risk doing the same to her?

A teacher at DC's secondary taught both my children for maths. At an awards evening he asked if we had any more children which I thought was rather odd. He said Ds2 and his group of friends talk to him when he is on playground duty and he says I never know what is going to come out of your son's mouth but he is clearly a very interesting chap who knows a lot about lots of things.

Ds2 watched guest lectures at universities when he was still in secondary, learned lots about history, watched TED talks. He is just loves learning new things as do I. Youtube is a brilliant place to find out about so many different things and also confirm that there are also lots of people watching the same video as you. Yesterday I was looking at building your own keyboard and the different switches for linear keys. 3.5 million people had also watched that video. It made me feel less alone in my interest.

What I did do though was ask him to show me the really interesting things so we could share some stuff. I never asked him to justify it, just share it.

Sounds like me as a teen, I still have a very eccentric YouTube feed with minimal " feminine" content and love a good non fiction book. I did eventually develop a social life and even found a nice husband. Everyone wants me on their quiz team too!

My DD had these exact interests at that age - she’s on a gap year but next year will be a Physiotherapy student with hopes of doing aid work around the world in the future. You are spot on!

She's trying to learn how the world works. As long as you she also gets exercise I can't really see what the issue is. I think the only question is asking yourself why you find it odd, do you have any personal insight on why that might be?

I only have one female friend the rest are male, who cares?

I feel for her, being judged like this.

No not exactly. When she is doing schoolwork she does it in the garden, with just pen and paper and workbook no phone/laptop or Internet. So she isn't saying she's doing homework as an excuse to be left alone