To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?

[MargaretBrewer]

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

In that case they are not true middle class, they are working class done well. Class is inherited, you have to come from several generations of that class to call yourself of that class. Maybe in 3-4 generations your friends will legitimately call themselves middle class, but not if they were born into working class.

class is about generational pedigree, not how much money you have in tbe bank. Plenty of aristocracy are broke but the aren’t working class, ifkwim.

How many generations does it take to become truly middle class, rather than a working class imposter?

What a strange post. My father is a cockney from Bermondsey. He did well at work so I grew up in an affluent area. I have a middle class accent. I have had people say to me shocked ‘I had no idea your father was cockney’. Very rude. What does it matter, he is a good person. And no I am not an actor, I am a reflection of the world I grew up in, as he is of his.

How very dare they! I'm assuming this is a piss take.

Maybe you "assume" too much about others?
MIddle class has to start somewhere, are you jealous?
You seem to be spending waaay too much effort observing others.

Well, apart from the fact that Caroline Bingley and her siblings are only one generation removed from trade themselves — it was their father who made the money in the north of England, hence their move south to distance themselves from the grubby source of their (very new) money, and why Bingley is looking about and renting Netherfield as he considers where to buy his own estate…

They’re essentially in the same position as the Gardiners’ children.

What business is any of this of yours?

Maybe a toolmaker whose son has risen quite high!

If they're adopting airs and graces it's because they feel ashamed of their roots, probably because in the UK, a substantial amount of effort is expended on making the working class feel Less Than. I am very solidly working class. I traced my family history on both sides recently and as far back as I can go, my family worked at The Big House. I'm the first person in my family to go to uni at all, and I'm doing a PhD. I code switch automatically without even being conscious of it. My partner laughs when he hears me do it, but it's like a compulsion. I live on a council estate. I don't have two pennies to rub together half the time, but put me in a room with MC/UMC people and my demeanour completely changes. I hate it tbh.

I think I see what you mean OP. It's a superior vibe these people give out when in reality, they came from f**k-all! There is an audacity about it. My family were poor, and I'm proud of them, and the poverty. I'm not into the class distinction. No one is better than anyone else.

I dont like the upper classes behaving superior. Much of their wealth was stolen if you trace history. Well, in Ireland it was. Yet a grandiose attitude was displayed.

Thank you! My situation is similar (wc parents, poor gp, DH is from wc family), we have good jobs, are well educated, are mortgage free, and can afford private school. No acting involved.

OP is mad!

Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype

What everything?

Do you know, your post speaks volumes about your judgement, your prejudices, and no one else?

Is this the same person who posted the nutty ramble about all private school parents being batshit earlier today?
Got removed for a look behind the scenes.

I'll reword it a little: I'm simply surprised. Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

In my case, it's how I was brought up. My father wanted me to have all the opportunities he didn't. He wanted me to learn to ride, to ski etc as a child and he prized education. The life style I have now is very similar to the one I was raised with so I haven't changed but it's a million miles away from the childhoods of my parents because you go back 3 generations and my family are pitworkers, refugees and gypsies (Roma). If people want to know about my dysfunctional family history, I'm happy to share but most people don't ask.

I don’t know anyone that behaves superior in the way you describe. And there is nothing embarrassing or wrong about coming from
nothing!

This was the entire point of the grammar school system. My mum went to one, and then on to university and a professional career. Her parents couldn't help her with her homework as their own education level was so low.

My grandfather was also somewhat racist but luckily we've left all that behind. We're not acting, it's who we really are.

it's their snobbery you're worried about? 🙄

"Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life?"
Yes, but you're not basing these people you know on their behaviour and speech, you didn't know them when they were children, so you have no idea whether they've changed or not. You are, completely illogically, expecting them to have the same behaviour and speech as people they may be related to but have had completely different lives to!

my grandparents were mechanics, steelworkers and a dinner lady.
I went to oxbridge and would probably come across as one of your (in your view) fake quintessential middle classers. I don't speak like my grandmother, not because I'm trying to 'hide' my lowly origins but because we are fifty years apart in age, grew up in different countries and have had completely different life experiences! It would be weird if I did speak in a strong yorkshire accent like her given I've never lived there! Me, my parents and grandparents all have different accents and use different phrases and vocabulary because we are of different generations and grew up/live in different places. Doesn't mean anything more than that!

Who on earth 'discloses' their whole family background to random acquaintances?

What does your father do OP?

I think I read where Mike Tindall said that his grandmother thought the RF shouldn't allow the Queens granddaughter marry someone like him!

Oh goodness.

Not only unreasonable, but also utterly ridiculous. Why do you need to label people? Why does social mobility trigger you so much?

These people are simply living the life they want to, based on hard work and good choices, why do you consider this as fake or false?

The skullduggery of the swine @LoraPiano!
What an absolute bastard doing things he enjoyed that belong to the upper classes!
The AUDACITY!!
Do you have a longer list of activities that should be ring fenced for only for those who have done from birth?

Ralph Lauren came from the Bronx and his parent were immigrants. Is this billionaire e
still in a lower social class because of what he was born into? What a bizarre view.

More MN bitterness and jealousy I see.

I did worry about DS and his university degrees. I knew he was getting ideas above his station. I was born in the slums of the Elephant and Castle and although I’ve accidentally become wealthy I’m still ever so umble.