To report my private school friend?

[Reeeeee]

I have a friend, we will call her Polly for the purpose of this thread. Polly and I both send our children to an esteemed private school. This term, we were given the option to pay fees up front, which we both did. Polly gets a sizeable discount for her DD as she is part of the bursary scheme at the school. This morning, Polly and I were discussing the Fees in Advance scheme, and she gleefully told me that she no longer needs to hide her income from the bursar as she won’t be assessed again. She admitted she has been hiding maintenance from her ex (over £1,000 a month) as well as self-employed income.

I do not want to see her DD disadvantaged or for any negative repercussions to befall her. However, I feel livid that my friend has scammed the school in this way. My husband and I work incredibly hard to send our DD to the school and it’s not always easy, we have to make sacrifices and go without. Suffice to say, I won’t be spending time with Polly again.

Chill

In a few months' time, when she can't remember mentioning it/trace it back to you, have a quiet word with the Bursar.

Bursaries are meant to be for children in real need, who would benefit from going to that school, not free-loading parents.

@pinkyredrose Why should I? As @MyTaupeHare points out, bursaries are meant for children that would otherwise not be able to benefit from attending the school, not because my friend fancies her own personal discount.

Polly should be ashamed of herself. She is a dishonest cheat.

Suffice to say, nobody believes this.

My child’s bursary does not include maintenance from my ex husband or my income from my new partner it specifically states this on the form. I double checked it and was told no, the income from your ex can’t be relied on - if he loses his job etc you get nothing. When I queried my new partner moving in and declaring his income I was told if he doesn’t have legal responsibility for her as a parent - I don’t include it.

yet both are considered for university funding 🤷‍♀️

It’s someone trying to get their child ahead in an already unfair system. I doubt I’d say anything.

It’s not just maintenance, she’s also been hiding self-employed income.

I can see no downside at all. You'll be known as a snitch, she'll have to send her darlings to state school and your "friendship" such as it is, will end.

what are you worried about? losing her as a friend despite fact that it would appear even this issue aside you’re not all that keen on her

"Esteemed" hey?

I wouldn't report but I think she should've kept quiet. If she did mention it again I'd probably say 'I'm not comfortable with you telling me this, as I feel strongly that bursaries should go to those who really need it'.

Wow I'd feel really pissed off too

How could she hide self employed income? Bizarre

I do not want to see her DD disadvantaged or for any negative repercussions to befall her.

There's your answer then. Confront her or leave it alone.

I wouldn't grass her up to the school but I would say to her that in my opinion she's being dishonest, and most importantly depriving someone else of the chance of a bursary who actually deserves and qualifies for one.

She said she gets cash she doesn’t put through her books as well as putting through high expenses so her overall income appears much lower. She said she did this specifically to hide it from the bursar and is pleased she doesn’t need to anymore!

She won’t know it is me as I will tell the school in a few months as a PP suggested, or I will report it anonymously. She was saying this loudly in a public area so others could have heard as well.

Snitches get stitches. Don't be that person! It's annoying for you, I get it. But honestly, the amount of people that game the various systems is A LOT.

Let the school know. A child who needed the help was denied by the lies of Polly. Hopefully she’ll have to refund the part she scammed off them.

Just leave it. I get that it's annoying and unfair but what actual good will it do telling the school?

Just don't be friend with her if it bothers you that much.

Report to HMRC (with as much detail as possible. What she does. How she hides the income, customer names and addresses if known etc). You can do this anonymously on their website. They won’t tell the person that someone grassed them up.

I think I'd let her know you're not happy about what she's doing. In the ideal world, I'd report her, but my only issue is for her DC who is probably settled at the school and has been assessed as clearly works hard or has a talent.

How will the school prove it?? Let it go.

Sounds like typical private school parents’ behaviour. Probably the school would admire your friend’s ’entrepreneurship’.

Yes, poor little rich kids in their private school. So unfair.