To report my private school friend?

[Reeeeee]

I have a friend, we will call her Polly for the purpose of this thread. Polly and I both send our children to an esteemed private school. This term, we were given the option to pay fees up front, which we both did. Polly gets a sizeable discount for her DD as she is part of the bursary scheme at the school. This morning, Polly and I were discussing the Fees in Advance scheme, and she gleefully told me that she no longer needs to hide her income from the bursar as she won’t be assessed again. She admitted she has been hiding maintenance from her ex (over £1,000 a month) as well as self-employed income.

I do not want to see her DD disadvantaged or for any negative repercussions to befall her. However, I feel livid that my friend has scammed the school in this way. My husband and I work incredibly hard to send our DD to the school and it’s not always easy, we have to make sacrifices and go without. Suffice to say, I won’t be spending time with Polly again.

Polly is a twat for admitting she is doing this. If you are going to scam the system, at least keep it to yourself!

If her books all tally there will be nothing to find there. If she just puts some cash income in her pocket (not through the books or the bank) and inflates expenses only a forensic check would show anything.

I'm still curious to know what is so esteemed about this private school 😄

I would leave it. It doesn't affect you. It makes you seem vindictive and petty.

If she is not declaring income, the bursar is the least of her worries. HMRC would also be interested.

“If”

likely she has got careless over the years.

Leave it be. Not your issue.

Friends of ours intentionally reduced the term of their mortgage before being assessed for a scholarship then increased it afterwards so they’d get a bigger scholarship. My aunt used donate to the schools scholarships fund and no longer does as she’s heard too many stories of people cheating the system.

Well she's hiding the self employed income from HMRC aswell so her tax returns will reflect the lowered income therefore the school won't be able to do anything about this as they cannot prove it. You could report to HMRC I suppose but it won't make an immediate change.

Child maintenance well I couldn't get worked up about this as I guess it's not guaranteed anyway.

Id probably just tell her I thought she was in the wrong but I wouldn't report.

Yup.

Funny how people cheating benefits or bursaries or whatnot are always so forthcoming, gleeful even, about admitting it to Mumsnetters.

I never understand the stupidity of people who boast about doing these things. Especially in the company of people who are paying the full whack - it's obviously going to piss them off and cause resentment. I'd imagine a lot of parents live in places with failing state schools and sacrifice a huge amount to scrape together enough money for private education - it must be massively galling to then see other people scamming the system.

But, we all do what we can to maximise the advantages for our own families - a lot of people see private school as inherently unfair anyway and exploitative of a failing state system, so can't feel upset at this type of profit making business getting screwed a bit.
I'm not sure it's that different to the people who move to where there are good state schools (I did) or who 'exaggerate' their Catholicism to get their dc into a good school (my parents did this in the 70s/80s for me).

Also not sure the school can do much about this - she has two sets of books running so it's probably not provable. And even if it was, it will negatively affect her child, who hasn't done anything wrong.

I think I'd tell her what you think, since you fell strongly about it, but leave it otherwise - it's not like she took anything from you.

So how are you expecting the school to be able to prove her income is higher?

Her income will show as what she puts through and after expenses.

You will report and there will be nothing to show. Which means it will look like you did it maliciously.

Report her, she is stealing form children who actually need the support.

Wonder if she’s been hiding it from the tax man too…

what does that even mean, you think the friend is going to put her in hospital for telling? 😂 what exactly do you think the repercussions will be

I think if she said it so she’s overheard I’d just keep it too myself as she probably feels intimidated by all the parents that can afford to send there children there and is trying to fit in. It would be a shame for her to lose your friendship over an insecurity so I’d check first. I don’t know how though. It’ll make you look quite silly if it turns out to be untrue and you tell someone.

A huge number ofState school Parents are all plumbers or similar who work cash in hand - its a well known fact

OP, lots of people do this kind of thing. When my DC were at school, there were quite a few with eg. separated parents - one living overseas and paying maintenance straight into the child's bank account to avoid it being detected. This happens all the time - not much anyone can do.

Oh come on now. As a full fee paying parent who probably partially funds the bursary that Polly is receiving, the OP is entitled to try and ensure it goes to the most deserving pupils especially as the pot gets stretched tighter with the new vat. That is the morally right thing to do. Polly is receiving a charitable donation, and defrauding a charity is indefensible.

Additionally now that you have climbed onto your high horse after benefiting from PS for you DC, you may not have the ability to look down and discern that the VAT is not simplistically “fair”. No education has vat applied in virtually every other country. The OP is also entitled to a state school place which she is not taking up - saving the tax payer money. If us a punitive tax plain and simple and should be framed as one rather than being “fair”.

Op, you do not grass on people, short of abuse and major robbery. What you could do, as you are a friend, is advise her not to disclose personal details to others.

Just forget it, it doesn't hurt you.

In the space of a few minutes you've asked everyone, amazingly quick work but I missed my polling card, can I say that I do believe it, will that change your stats?

Wow. What a horrible attitude. Chip on your shoulder much?

The bursary team is usually quite diligence, so I'm guessing this money is nowhere on bank statements etc, so you cannot prove it.

Tell her she's dishonest, but the rest of it is not yours business and I presume you'll be equally miffed when the children keep attending, on their bursary.

Wow. What a horrible attitude. Chip on your shoulder much?