To be annoyed that he's obsessed with walking everywhere?

[Rizzo8]

Or am I the lazy one?

My partner and I went on holiday earlier this year and he wanted to be in quiet accommodation away from the busy area. So we stayed in a place that required a 25 min walk into town every day. In the end it was lovely because it was an island.

Now he's moved house, location is again a half hour walk into town. If I want to take the bus he hates it, so I usually just get the bus if I'm by myself

Last week we went for a long weekend and stayed in a flat 30 mins outside the centre. We walked back in the evening but in the morning when I said I wanted to take the bus (with my 2 bags) he gave me a hard time! Saying if I didn't want to walk now could I walk and do all our other plans later. I was properly annoyed and told him straight taking a bus is a normal thing people do every day and that's what we'd be doing. Which we did.

I just don't understand this behaviour at all?

How many posters on here have actually taken a bus?? 10 minutes walk it's borderline which will be quicker, with stops, traffic etc. Over a 30 minute walk, a bus will virtually ALWAYS be quicker. You guys are delulu, as the young folk say.

I feel like you’d hate me OP 🙈 anything under 30 minute walk is “just around the corner”.
I walk as much as a can. Always have done.

If it’s a city bus probably. I can walk from my village to the local town in 40 minutes. The bus takes an hour.

Is he being cheap and not wanting to spend on bus fair?

I’m a walker too.

In this case why on earth didn’t you just give him the bag to carry rather than waiting for him to ask?

It also takes two to argue. If I was not prepared to argue I would just say right I’m taking the bus. You can walk if you want to. That would be the end of it.

Yes, do use a bus occasionally and it is generally a miserable experience (crowded, often noisy and certainly not cheap) hence my personal choice to walk whenever possible.

When working it used to take me 50-minutes to walk to the train station so yes, the bus would have been quicker. Trouble is that the (hourly) bus has to come in from another town and was often late which meant I could easily miss my train.
Walking removed this possibility entirely.

Just ask him to carry one of the bags.

I am a huge walker - walk around 8 miles most days and love walking, it's my transport of choice.

But 25 minute walk plus bags, or in heels for a night out? Nah, I'm getting the bus.

How do you know if the area is heavy with traffic. Could be a straight run for all you know.

My DH is a bit like this too! He forgets he is fitter, stronger and taller than me so can walk faster!
I generally don't mind walking, I don't think 30 minutes is excessive, it's better for the environment and good exercise.
The only situation where I would refuse to walk are if I need to carry something heavy or wear heels and I don't want to carry spare shoes around.
I would probably compromise by walking in to town and getting the bus home with the shopping.

Some people are either missing the point or haven’t read all the updates. It’s not really about whether you walk 15,000 steps a day or not. Before I had a leg injury I used to walk 10-20K daily on my commute even when I had my period and I’d tend to stand on the train or tube rather than sit. But that’s me. If someone doesn’t want to walk 30 minutes it’s perfectly reasonable too especially when they are carrying bags and have health issues which OP has clearly stated.

OP your issue is he has a lack of empathy. I have two brothers that were raised exactly the same but one of them lacks empathy for some reason.

He will always suggest I walk with bags to the train station rather than give me a lift in his car, even if it’s quite late and if I’m unwell he’s always quite disbelieving and acts as if I’m exaggerating pain. And he is just generally doubtful of me if I say I need help with something. So you can imagine how much fun it was when I had post viral fatigue for 6 months dealing with his scepticism. As a result of that I’ve always steered clear of men with that kind of attitude.

I think you need to sit down and have a real heart to heart about this. If it continues things will only get worse and you could find yourself in real pain one day and he’s totally switched off.

And yes definitely ask him if he can help with bags. It’s pretty shocking that he didn’t offer. My friends teen son always offers if we go anywhere!

Having read your updates, I don't think this is an issue of you being 'lazy' - it sounds like your partner is being very rigid.
Walking when possible is great, but if you're carrying heavy bags, why wouldn't you get the bus on that occasion?
It sounds like he's very unaccommodating - I would be reading him the riot act with regards to his treatment of you.
Do you want to be with someone who won't support you when you're feeling unwell & in pain?

I like to walk if there's time but if carrying a massive bag I wouldn't. Sulking if someone carrying a huge bag wants to get the bus AND not offering to carry the bag is wankerish in the extreme.

I love walking personally. Surely you can both compromise??

I’m half an hour walk from town, and I’ll always walk. Never even consider getting the bus.

Good exercise, cheaper, and by the time you’ve waited for a bus to turn up, and then drive around the houses before eventually getting to your stop, the bus isn’t really any quicker.

Sometimes you can’t be arsed. YANBU. This would annoy me too. Does he thinks it makes him better than you? Get the bus when you want. It’s not a crime.

How many posters on here have actually taken a bus?? 10 minutes walk it's borderline which will be quicker, with stops, traffic etc. Over a 30 minute walk, a bus will virtually ALWAYS be quicker. You guys are delulu, as the young folk say.

I do and in my area due to roadworks and being near a tourist attraction, walking is usually faster. I have looked at bus times and have walked home only to see the bus I would have gotten on bypass me after I’ve walked passed the stop I’ve would have gotten off at so no the bus isn’t always faster.

He can walk, you take the bus - tell him you’ll meet him at the destination. Compromise required here😊

If you're on holiday somewhere where you are going to be doing lots of walking around generally or it's really hot, you probably could do without a 25 minute walk from and to your accommodation. Much more relaxed of an evening to walk 5 or 10 minutes from restaurants, etc. Also if you're in a beach type resort, the roads are unlit, there's no pavement and it's not particularly safe to walk 25 minutes out of town in a lot of places.

We live a 25 minute walk from the nearest village. Sometimes I walk, sometimes I drive depending on the time available, weather and how I'm feeling. Just because I can walk in doesn't mean I do!

I have a husband who used to play this game. Especially when the kids were small.

I walk 4-5miles a day. Every day. 10000 steps.

But I won't walk with heavy bags, I will consider what I am doing when I get where I am walking to - so if it's heavily raining and we're going out for a meal I won't walk as I won't want to sit in wet clothes, if there is alot of 'on the go' once I arrive then I'll use transport to get there - and potentially tilly walk back.

I wouldn't put up with a partner who tried to dictate. He wants to walk - go ahead, I'll see you there. He wants to drag 2 preschoolers on a 30min hike into town... go ahead but I'll take the kids on the bus, and the most annoying... he races off as we 'walk too slow' I turn tail. Every. Single. Time. That is just plain rude and there is no way someone is treating me like that.

Mine learnt... eventually...

but that's YOUR choice, not someone else's expectation. OP I'd tell him to bog off and stop the bullying.

BOTH of the bags

See I think this IS LTB worthy. It might bs OCD, it might be simple nastiness but for me that kind of behaviour is definitely a red flag. He does not get to control your choices EVER

We have the same husband 😂