To be annoyed that he's obsessed with walking everywhere?

[Rizzo8]

Or am I the lazy one?

My partner and I went on holiday earlier this year and he wanted to be in quiet accommodation away from the busy area. So we stayed in a place that required a 25 min walk into town every day. In the end it was lovely because it was an island.

Now he's moved house, location is again a half hour walk into town. If I want to take the bus he hates it, so I usually just get the bus if I'm by myself

Last week we went for a long weekend and stayed in a flat 30 mins outside the centre. We walked back in the evening but in the morning when I said I wanted to take the bus (with my 2 bags) he gave me a hard time! Saying if I didn't want to walk now could I walk and do all our other plans later. I was properly annoyed and told him straight taking a bus is a normal thing people do every day and that's what we'd be doing. Which we did.

I just don't understand this behaviour at all?

Walk wouldn't annoy me but attitude? Goodbye!

I sympathise with you.I found walking,without a dog waste of time😂,so any shopping trips etc have to involve the car or a bus,as I don’t drive.Some fat chance I would be carrying bags,sweating my ass off,because someone else said I should.Only exception is the school run,as 15 minutes walk isn’t bad,husband is at work at that stage so no lift and dogs aren’t allowed at the gates.I wouldn’t even go shopping after that,as I consider it predicament enough.Swiftly back home and off to walk the dog.Then it isn’t chore.Just tell your boyfriend if he gets a dog,he can then decide when it walks!

Couldn't he have carried a bag for you?

my dh is the same altoug doesnt drive so fair enough-ive toldd him he an o as he pleass but im getting a bus /car

he walks so fast an i cant keep up its not fun

just to add trust me he wont change

A bus is only normal if that's what you're used to.
There really aren't many buses where I live and would only be normal for school kids.
If there's no car people walk or bike. That's normal in my town regardless of bags etc. It wouldn't occur to me to use a bus even if I moved because it's not "normal" to me.

i prefer not to walk, but if needs must then ill walk, but i do prefer other methods that are quicker and better

I'd rather walk unless I'm having an Endo flair.

I would have asked him to carry one of your bags though.

@Josette77 I actually have Endo too

Sometimes Endo is a factor. And he knows I have it and the impact.

In future I'll just ask him to carry a bag seeing as he isn't offering as much.

Rizzo8

"The thing that bothers me most is him arguing with me when I want to take a simple bus ride. I feel bullied for wanting to do a normal thing."

How long have you been together. If you feel bullied, I would get out.

Whether you like walking or not, the key thing is that your choices are valid and you should not feel bullied.

This isn't about the walking vs bus, its about you not feeling listened to.

If you have 2 bags and he isn't offering to carry one even to a car, then that would signal the end for me.

If it's painful for you to walk then no, he should take the bus with you.

My ex-husband always pushed me physically if I was in pain. I was always very active, a dancer, I did triathlons and if I said no it meant I was really hurting.

I will never again ignore my own pain to make someone else happy.

I'd take a very dim view of that indeed. Is there any reason why you can't say, "I'll do as I please and I don't need to justify my decision to you"?

He's not your manager and you aren't staff.

I always walk if I can, but then I’m the designated bag carrier. DP does not carry anything other than her handbag.

Yes, you're the lazy one.

And there's no point continuing the relationship if you both can't agree on such a minor thing. How will you agree on things that are actually important?

Which one are you? The rude one? The one that doesn't read the thread (OP has pain issues)?

@MrsTerryPratchett I said exactly that after getting flustered that he was making a big deal about it.

I shouldn't have to assert myself, he should accept it without an argument. I do plenty of walking when he wants to.

What was his reaction?

@MrsTerryPratchett nothing, he just accepted it (with some annoyance).

But it comes up as an issue any time I want to take transport instead of walking.

It's not LTB worthy but it is a weird reaction to taking occasional transport imo.

If it is literally just that, maybe it's not LTB-worthy.

I'd turn it into a joke, "FFS Frodo, give the walking a rest."

@Rizzo8

how long have you been together?

have you tried booking accommodation closer into the main area?

Do you think you're really compatible?

Are you looking for solutions or just to vent?

just read your latest posts. If yourebin
pain, just tell him 'no I'm in pain/too tired/ be.'

ok you carry these & I'll walk with you.

or just say 'NO' Do as you please, I'm getting the bus.

I get very motionsick in a bus so would always chose walking over the bus where possible. I know many find the proximity of strangers hard too. Could that be his issue?

Going forward I would make it clear if he wants to walk he is expected to carry bags for you as your compromise.

However I agree 20-30 mins is an easy walk I would not be getting the bus.

He sounds like a bit of an arse with regards to this OP, and I say that as someone who loves a walk and will walk as much as possible rather than take public transport.

Carrying heavy bags for half an hour though, no ta. That's not fun. And it seems like he didn't want to do the carrying either but he expected you to be up for it!? So he gets a nice walk and you're meant to feel uncomfortable with fibro and doing all the carrying? Nah.

I'd be having a sit down (definitely not a walk!) with him and telling him how much his selfish attitude is irritating you, because really, this is what this is about. It sounds like you compromise with the walking, whereas he seems to become quite insufferable any time you say "not today" to the walk. Gauge his reaction and take it from there.

Do you know him?

I live on a bus route and it is pretty much always pissing it down here, plus walking takes so much longer - I just want to get where I'm going as quickly as possible. So I'd choose the bus.
But what worries me more is that he's not listening to you, especially if you are in pain. Men like this don't get any better, I'd really keep an eye on this. Ignore all the judgemental nellies on here saying you're lazy or whatever. If you don't want to walk that's up to you, you shouldn't be dictated to. If he wants to walk he can.