MIL and her emotional support dog

[Moreacatperson]

AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog? She apparently can’t/won’t go anywhere without him (this has been the case for 10 months now) and it is causing tension.

I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic. I hate the smell and the hair and just don’t want one in the house. We were meant to host Christmas this year but after MIL told me ‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘ I cancelled it and let everyone know on the family WhatsApp that they all need to make alternative arrangements this year.

DH agrees with me as MIL only lives nearby so can easily leave the dog at home she just doesn’t like it as it’s not trained and is destructive when left alone and doesn’t have a crate. It’s more of a spoilt fur baby that she labels an emotional support dog (she just purchased the little vest it isn’t officially recognised as any kind of trained support dog)

I’ve told her not to bother me anymore if she wants to see DH / DC contact them directly and see them at her house or out

It seems like she needs more emotional support than a dog can provide.

that poor dog must be waaay out of it's depth with your MIL OP
(stick to your guns of course!)

UNBU, however I wouldn't have cancelled the whole thing. I would just ask MIL to make alternative arrangements. No such thing as an emotional support dog, it's crazy!

From reading your post I don’t get the impression you are asking. You seem to be telling readers, much like you probably told your husband, how they are to respond. So why bother posting?

Maybe it's the poor ddog that needs emotional support?? She sounds unhinged..

Maybe as a sounding board? Or just to vent? People post for all sorts of reasons

I’m just surprised that MIL is so sure she can do what she wants in someone else’s house when it’s been made so clear we don’t want the dog here !

Yes , I’m just fuming at how she spoke to me that I could be told what to do in my home ?!!

Well done OP, so nice to see someone standing for themselves and not being walked over. Also good to see your DH supporting you in this; his house indeed! Cheeky cow!

I wasn’t looking forward to it anyway and if I’m honest it gave me the perfect excuse to cancel as I’ve been trying to think how to approach it . We host every other year and it’s absolutely exhausting- it just feels like 3/4 days of me constantly cooking or cleaning up and I’d rather not anymore

Sounds like it's been dealt with perfectly well to me.

@Moreacatperson sound like a win win then! . Glad you stuck up
For yourself

Good on you OP.

Used to have a friend who did the same. Had a very poorly behaved dog they couldn’t leave at home due to complaints every time they went out (as in grocery shopping, to have cu of tea etc, not huge stretches). Dog would bark constantly and trash the place. Council involvement etc. They solved that problem by calling it an emotional support animal, purchasing a vest for it off eBay, and taking it everywhere, where it was also very poorly behaved minus the barking. Not my past tense with that friendship.

You’ve done the right thing. Stand firm. My MIL brings her bloody dog with her whenever she visits. I tolerate it because we have a dog and I’m not allergic and the dog is well behaved, but it’s simply because her partner is a bastard and wouldn’t care for the dog if she left it at home. It does annoy me though because I’d never expect to bring my dog to someone else’s house. She stays at home and we go out and do people things.

Would be an ex friend of mine too, these dogs just cause havoc in places where they don't belong, and can cause issues for actual working dogs. ISD is not a recognised service dog

You just both sound a bit fiery to be honest and probably rub off on each other. I’d say if you both had a sit down about it it might go better- there’s no need for drama at Christmas- it’s hard enough going!!

‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘

Why did you DH not speak to her at this point and just back you up to say 'nope, that's not happening'.. if my mum said anything like this to my DH, I'd be the person to take it up with her.

Is your DH not very pro active? Seems odd that it's all falling to you.

YANBU. No dogs allowed here either.

The comment about DH would be hard to come back from, she shot herself in the foot there.

No one has the right to make you feel ill (with allergies) while you are hosting Christmas and doing all the work. Allergies are miserable, anti-histamines barely touch the sides for me. Absolutely ludicrous when she has alternatives.

He was at work at that point and I just thought better to deal with it immediately. She did speak to him when he was finished he just said what he’s said for months that she knows the dog isn’t welcome and the reasons why and nothing has changed .

A pity it has come to this but I agree with you OP. Sympathy for the dog who probably needs emotional support his or herself.

She does that a lot , 3 months ago she let me know that as his mother she is his legal next of kin and wasn’t happy when I corrected her she had to get ‘legal advice ‘ to check . Apparently because DH had his house before we met and married she thought if anything happened to him that it would be hers 😂😂😂😂

The poor thing is so indulged and not trained and as a consequence is a nervy barking nuisance only happy with MIL cuddling it in actual fact I think she’s the dogs emotional support human !

YANBU.

How 9% think you are, is baffling.

Wonder if they’re the type that think little of allergies and think people should seemingly “suck it up” for others.