MIL and her emotional support dog

[Moreacatperson]

AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog? She apparently can’t/won’t go anywhere without him (this has been the case for 10 months now) and it is causing tension.

I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic. I hate the smell and the hair and just don’t want one in the house. We were meant to host Christmas this year but after MIL told me ‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘ I cancelled it and let everyone know on the family WhatsApp that they all need to make alternative arrangements this year.

DH agrees with me as MIL only lives nearby so can easily leave the dog at home she just doesn’t like it as it’s not trained and is destructive when left alone and doesn’t have a crate. It’s more of a spoilt fur baby that she labels an emotional support dog (she just purchased the little vest it isn’t officially recognised as any kind of trained support dog)

I’ve told her not to bother me anymore if she wants to see DH / DC contact them directly and see them at her house or out

What does therapy dog or animal even mean?

People on domestic flights in the USA have to put up with stinky or allergy inducing animals on ppls laps due to what reason exactly?
Please don’t answer, it’s really ridiculous to even express the notion, let alone impose one. Same as the I want dogs in school and work brigade. How about I take my tarantula to their house or a restaurant and it can have a run around, it’s my pet and emotionally fulfils me, you see.

There’s no such thing as an ESA (Enotionsl Support Animal) in UK law, only an assistance dig which must be trained to do three tasks that mitigate a disability.

Your MIL is taking the pee.

Lol

Can we see the dog in his little vest

The days of the infamous on-board emotional support peacock are over - US airlines have been cracking down on this sort of thing for years.

I applaud you both for not putting up with this nonsense.

If I was you I would quickly book the Christmas period away somewhere nice, if you can. just think of the money you are saving not catering for 5 other people.

We've got two big dogs, one is an absolute wanker (lovely but loud and annoying). I wouldn't dream of taking them to someone else's house unless expressly told "bring the twats". Even friends that have dogs we'd leave ours at home. I can't imagine insisting on bringing it to someone's house that was allergic and telling you that it wasn't your decision but up to DH would be an instant fuck off!

It's really good that your dh sided with you, op. Lots of mothers like this have sons who go along with their battiness.

The poor dog. She's not giving it a chance to be a dog, it must be super stressed out. All about her needs and nothing about the dog's need to play, explore, be trained, see the world a bit.

You should do something about being terrified of dogs because that's no fun, but entirely reasonable not to want a dog in your house when you're allergic.

Good for you OP, and your DH. Have a wonderful Christmas, sure you’ll enjoy every minute! 😊

I am a MIL, we used to have dogs. Which stayed at home when we went out because they were dogs. Our dogs. Who else wanted to spend time with them? No one. Absolutely no one. We loved them. We love our children and grandchildren. We do not expect others to feel quite so fondly.

SFJ I hate this dog thing where they are bloody everywhere. Dogs don’t like cafes, or restaurants, shopping or having a Merry Little Christmas. They like walks and rolling in fox shit

Well played OP

YANBU

My MIL has a dog. An untrained dog that leapt all over our furniture and I'm allergic.

One Xmas... She had to sleep in playroom downstairs on a mattress as I wouldn't allow a dog upstairs and then my DH was a dick on Xmas day saying I was pushing her out... I wslas wheezing and removing the dog from jumping or being on my sofa so I went upstairs.

She now never comes because of me and the dog... but all I asked was no jumping on my sofa ffs the hair was everywhere... I can try and sweep the floor, hoover the rug easier.

Also wont leave it alone

People and dogs are sometimes too irrational when it comes to others.

The dog who needs an emotional support dog

Emotional support animals are not recognised in the UK. SIL has started saying hers is a psychiatric assistance dog for some weird reason. Apparently ‘owner trained’ assistance dogs can go anywhere under the 2010 equality act (according to MIL and SIL). We apparently are not permitted to question any assistance dogs who are owner trained either in the UK. 🙄

My home will remain “assistance” sausage dog free for the foreseeable future. It’s mind boggling how a sausage dog can be an assistance dog! The thing is a few inches high but it apparently does deep pressure therapy? Some people need to get a grip tbh.

The audacity!

We have dog allergy in the house. We will never have a dog in the house because I prefer my DH to be able to breathe. Maybe your MIL should take a pill instead.

She’s won the right not to have an allergic reaction. Should really be a given.

I wasn’t looking forward to it anyway and if I’m honest it gave me the perfect excuse to cancel as I’ve been trying to think how to approach it . We host every other year and it’s absolutely exhausting- it just feels like 3/4 days of me constantly cooking or cleaning up and I’d rather not anymore

So the OP didn't want to do Christmas anyway? Sounds like this has been brewing for a while...

There’s these things- called antihistamines. Christ one day out of 365 for a few hours.

You can tell from the thread op just doesn’t want to host- the dog is a smoke screen🤣just own it op.

If I wanted you to go and beat yourself about the head with a rounders bat for ten minutes for my viewing pleasure, would you be okay with it on the basis that you can just take a fistful of painkillers first?

It's fine to want to avoid the trigger, rather than drugging yourself against deliberate, unnecessary exposure. The drugs have side effects, and don't fully eliminate symptoms.

And it's not just that one day. If you're allergic to dogs and one spends a day in your home, congratulations! you're now allergic to your own home, until you've turned your house upside-down doing a deep clean of all soft furnishings the dog went anywhere near.

FFS. Show your total ignorance about allergies in a couple of sentences.

I’ll say it slowly for those people who don’t seem to get it, and the willfully ignorant:

Allergies.
can.
kill.

My DH could take an antihistamine and he’ll probably still have an asthma attack (that could kill) that will need treatment.

She can take an antihistamine but she will still have an allergic reaction. She will still get sick. She will feel sick for days. Even with an antihistamine. The dog will leave hair and dander. That will cause allergic reactions later too. Or MIL can leave the fucking dog at home and not cause her DIL to be sick for days.

So yes. There are things called antihistamines, but there are also things like avoiding an allergen in the first place, which doctors will always tell you is the best course of action, because it’s the one where you won’t have an allergic reaction.

These threads always out the selfish fuckers who think allergy sufferers should make themselves ill for days for someone else’s pet choices. These threads out stupid people who think it’s as simple as taking a pill and it’s all better. No one needs to take the dog to Christmas dinner.

Call me petty, but I would get DH to invite everyone to some family events/BBQs/parties, EXCEPT MIL and Dog. (Just to put the boot in and show her the lay of the land.)

Yep, very petty!

Op, what was the reaction to you getting one up on your mil cancelling Christmas for everyone?

It's so heartwarming to see an op who has the backbone to stand up to people who disrespect them. Well done for not wanting to do the Christmas rigmarole every year for disrespectful people.

Nevermind the dog.... she's crossed a line saying what she did to you. I'd be putting her right back in her place.

You can’t cancel Christmas, it exists independently.