MIL and her emotional support dog

[Moreacatperson]

AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog? She apparently can’t/won’t go anywhere without him (this has been the case for 10 months now) and it is causing tension.

I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic. I hate the smell and the hair and just don’t want one in the house. We were meant to host Christmas this year but after MIL told me ‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘ I cancelled it and let everyone know on the family WhatsApp that they all need to make alternative arrangements this year.

DH agrees with me as MIL only lives nearby so can easily leave the dog at home she just doesn’t like it as it’s not trained and is destructive when left alone and doesn’t have a crate. It’s more of a spoilt fur baby that she labels an emotional support dog (she just purchased the little vest it isn’t officially recognised as any kind of trained support dog)

I’ve told her not to bother me anymore if she wants to see DH / DC contact them directly and see them at her house or out

You should be able to ask for evidence that a dog is a trained therapy dog. After all, you have to show a blue badge to park in a restricted space, so if you want to take a dog into a supermarket you should have to show evidence that it is properly trained and therefore won't bother staff or customers or poo everywhere.

Yanbu, but I think you should consider getting an emotional-support-crocodile that eats small yappy dogs.

I don't blame you, I'd be fuming too. How dare she try to tell you that it's not up to you, it's a family home not just your husband's/partner's home!

Oh god! Your MIL sounds just like my friend!! She's developed a co-dependancy with her dog. She claims the dog is needy - but actually it's her. It's caused huge rifts in her family and friendships because the bloody dog always comes first. If she does leave the house without the dog she's anxious the whole time and talks about nothing else but the dog. I've told her she needs help but all she says is 'but he's my baby!'

^ this
So nice to hear that someone's DH is actually supporting them!

They also sent me a link to a document about Businesses and Assistance dogs. They send the same thing to shops who ask the feral assistance sausage dog to leave. I’m also apparently disablist because I refuse to have the thing in my house 🙄. They’re nuts 😂

Don't think much of the idea of emotional support animals. Except our own pets in our own homes of course.
A teddy or similar might do the trick outside the home?

Raisin toast !! What an idiot he is dogs can’t eat raisins or grapes , they can make them extremely ill , even lead to kidney failure

ah so its just a pet? she'll be on amazon soon buying it one of those vests and a fancy lead next.

do you think i'll get away with my emotional support bottle of red?

Thats my point, guide dogs are completely different

I’ve had dogs all my life, got my first baby of my own for my 8th birthday.
I have 2 diagnosed and medicated mental illnesses.
My current four legged woofing baby was rescued from a well known animal charity 2 years ago, he rescued me more than I him. I’ve been able to drastically cut down the amount of anti psychotics, mood stabilisers, benzodiazepines and sleeping pills since he joined our family.
Would I feel more relaxed and comfortable if I could take him everywhere with me? Yes of course I would!
Do I take him everywhere with me though? Absolutely not! I suck it up and take my anxiety meds - I know not everyone likes dogs, not everyone is comfortable around dogs, some places are not appropriate for animals to be, some people are allergic etc so I behave like a decent human and leave my well trained, well behaved, dog at home, suck up any discomfort I have for a bit and take meds if I need to knowing I’m going home to ‘safety’ and doggy cuddles when I’ve been where I need to be.
YANBU, MIL is a selfish sod!

Sounds like the dog needs an emotional support animal itself.

She sounds bonkers and I wouldn’t be interacting with her much again. Sounds like your husband supported you though which is great!

The irony is that MIL’s insistence on creating an anxious, antisocial, untrained dog - instead of putting in the time and effort to train and socialize it properly, will only end up isolating her more as nobody will tolerate it except her. I know that assistance dogs don’t HAVE to be registered, but people like MIL give genuine assistance dogs a bad name. (Had to clean up Dachsund turds in a theatre last week.) I’m totally pro assistance dogs but beginning to see the benefits of registering them.

I wouldn't leave my dog at home alone either, but if someone didn't like dogs it wouldn't bother me I would stay at home and let everyone enjoy their Christmas together.

Argh, somebody I know has recently bought some kind of dog (one of those doodle-poo type things) and is trying to get it registered as an "assistance dog," on the ground that her son has ADHD and she bought the dog for him as a way to try and help him in some way. The son does not take care of the dog himself and the dog is not trained to serve any particular role, nor does her son need a dog in order to go out and about; it's purely a ruse to try and get permission to bring the dog into places where dogs are not welcome. I have tried to tell her tactfully that this isn't fair, she's not listening....

Considering there is no love lost between you and considering you didn't want everyone for Christmas anyway - it sounds like that dog is providing much needed emotional support for the whole family in giving you all a longed for reason to not see each other.

The dog has earned its vest

YANBU at first I was wondering why you cancelled the rest of the family. But I see they’re equally difficult. Enjoy your drama free Christmas.

Create a new WhatsApp invitation for Christmas and just state 'no pets allowed'

😂

Not petty at all, MIL and her pretend support dog nonsense shouldn't be able to derail Christmas for the rest of the family.

Ah no she said cancelled Christmas, whiff of hyperbole I felt! No it’s not rocket science it’s Christmas dinner.

I’m with you OP, I don’t mind well behaved dogs my friends have them but they would never dream of asking to bring them in my dog free house. I don’t want a dog because of mess, smells and potential accidents so it just would not be happening unless it was a trained guide dog.

the sooner the idiotic owners fur baby’s die out the better and I hope to god they don’t replace them because it is becoming ridiculous the amount of badly behaved dogs and entitled owners who have no right having a dog

They’ll be the die hard dog lovers who think that the entire world should spin around their fur baby and sod anyone else

There are certain things where one person saying no is an absolute no. Pets in the house are one of those things.

Did you read the post I was referring to? Not the Christmas dinner but but arranging lots of other things and not inviting MIL.....that's petty!