MIL and her emotional support dog

[Moreacatperson]

AIBU to not let MIL come round with her dog? She apparently can’t/won’t go anywhere without him (this has been the case for 10 months now) and it is causing tension.

I am terrified of dogs and also very allergic. I hate the smell and the hair and just don’t want one in the house. We were meant to host Christmas this year but after MIL told me ‘it’s not down to you - it’s down to MY son and he will override you on this and you can take antihistamines ‘ I cancelled it and let everyone know on the family WhatsApp that they all need to make alternative arrangements this year.

DH agrees with me as MIL only lives nearby so can easily leave the dog at home she just doesn’t like it as it’s not trained and is destructive when left alone and doesn’t have a crate. It’s more of a spoilt fur baby that she labels an emotional support dog (she just purchased the little vest it isn’t officially recognised as any kind of trained support dog)

I’ve told her not to bother me anymore if she wants to see DH / DC contact them directly and see them at her house or out

my mum was petrifiedd your hpouse ypur rules

everyone is buying these vests now makes a mockery of the real trained dogs

She's allergic to dogs and it's perfectly possible to find love from other sources than dogs.

@TheAlchemy I agree, I don't want them in my nice clean house. I hate the dog smell. My cousin came round with her ancient stinky half-dead mutt and let it run in on its long lead. I think she had a bloody cheek, but she seems to use it as an emotional crutch.

There's something very weird about people who actually believe that everyone should like dogs

Yes, one wonders what other boundaries they like to try and shame people for. Bit creepy.

I like dogs. I don’t like untrained nervy ones that yap at you. I know it’s not their fault and I feel sorry for the, but I wouldn’t have a dog like that in the house. And yes I judge people who don’t train their dogs, it’s a form of mistreatment.

I agree with this.

I wouldn't want a dog at my house either. I have a dog poo phobia and if it did a poo on my lawn, even if it was picked up immediately I would still worry that there were remnants left there fir my DC to step on / tread germs in the house. And I am in no way a germophobe nor do I have OCD about cleanliness, it's just dog poo that freaks me out!

There’s something odd about anyone who puts an animal on a pedestal and thinks anyone and everyone should like them or be around them even if by doing so it makes them ill.

I like well-behaved pets but unfortunately too many owners like OP’s MIL make it hard to be around them without caution.

Antihistamines help but won't keep you out of hospital if it's a bad allergy - I wish I could have just taken a tablet as a child and been around dogs and cats 🙄.
Do you also think that people with nut allergies should just 'eat the bloody curry, take an antihistamine and have epipens at the ready'?

This is a poorly trained dog and the OP is allergic so there is nothing odd about OP not wanting the dog in her home over Christmas.

What a ridiculous and judgemental comment! The OP is allergic to dogs and this particular dog is very poorly trained.

Her MIL also sounds very difficult so not having her in her home over Christmas is probably an added bonus for OP.

@ThePenguinIsDrunk but the OP doesn’t require hospitalisation. 🙈Your projecting your own severe allergies on to OP. Of course I don’t think you should crack on chuffing peanuts and carry epi pens.
The OP was looking for any excuse to not ‘do Christmas’. She’s ‘allowed’ her partner to see his mother a few hours over Christmas. If my DH imposed that controlling level of behaviour on to me I’d divorce him.

“Her MIL also sounds very difficult so not having her in her home over Christmas is probably an added bonus for OP.” Op’s entire intention I would say.

But you won't have your MIL's dog in your house! If you were hosting on Christmas Day but your MIL refused to come without her bitey dog, would you allow her dog to come and bite your 8 year old? You sound completely hypocritical.

It’s not comparable though, is it. If I was allergic I’d take a tablet.

Biting is different isn’t it? At a push if she lived far away her dog could go into the garden room for a few hours.

Poor dog . Happy you are clear with your things. Woman is crazy

The OP also said in her first post that she is terrified of dogs and that the dog is very poorly trained. There is no tablet to deal with that.

You don't know that, the OP may well have life threatening allergies to dogs. My dog & cat allergies have caused numerous hospitalisations over the years and antihistamines don't help.
Even if the OP wasn't allergic to dogs just not liking them is reason to not want one in her house all day, for several days, over christmas.

@RickyGervaislovesdogs and the OP hasn't refused to 'let' her DH see the MIL over christmas - she has stated that she is fune with this. I think you're the one projecting.

You’re not so your point is moot. Posters who actually do have severe allergies have said a pill has side effects and they’re still poorly with it and days after regardless. Considering the dog would be in OP’s home and is poorly trained, it is very likely the dog would run around, climbing on things which would force OP’s family to have to clean everything it touches. OP could possibly be sheltered away but she shouldn’t have to in her own home and her family would still have to clean everything due to the dog and no one wants to do that over their Christmas holidays because one person who didn’t bring their dog last year wants to bring them this year knowing one of the host is severely allergic and fearful.

The dog could be left at home and MIL is close enough to pop in and check on it but she doesn’t because she thinks her dog trumps her DIL who she doesn’t like.

I would also bet that OP is fearful of dogs due to her severe allergy to them.

No reasonable person would want to be near the very thing that makes them ill.

In my experience there are a number of dog owners who are so fond of dogs as they don't require one to have any level of emotional intelligence or maturity unlike interacting with people. My mum is one, as was my dad and I know a few others. My dad was very able to show affection to the dog, not to other humans. Very damaged people and it obviously makes them happy in a way but it also can make them batshit crazy as they put all their energy into the dog.

Yeah for couple of hours 🤣 So we agree OP won’t die of allergies then.

Where on earth has she said she’s that allergic 🤷🏼‍♀️

For MOST people you just take a pill. You don’t die, if OP is likely to suffer death then obvs don’t have the dog over. But it’s clear it’s an excuse not to have the MIL there or ‘do Christmas’ just say it like it is- but I believe OP has further within the thread stated it’s great that there’s no cooking etc. The partner should be assisting in the prep and cooking if this is the case.

Nope - OP didn't say she was going too. Try again.

Well there we are then, leave it there shall we.