to think it's fine to not want to date someone because of their job?

[Terracata]

According to my friend I am unreasonable. Met a guy on online dating, he said he worked for the council. Didn't go into detail re what until the date. He then told me that he is one of those people that puts parking tickets on cars. Cue me very quickly deciding I don't want to date him.

Personally I think at first date stage you can afford to be picky and can choose not to date someone for whatever reason you want. I don't want to date someone who waits around for someone to go 11 mins over their parking time to shove a ticket on their car.

Friend thinks I'm being daft and 'it's just a job'.

AIBU?

I wouldn't date a policeman. Nothing against the actual job but I work a 9-5 and wouldn't want a relationship with someone who had to work antisocial hours.

I think you just get used to it, tbh. And he at least gets 4 days off (6 on/4 off)

Everybody is entitled to a fair trial regardless of what heinous crime they may have been charged with If they didn't get a fair trial than their case would collapse and they would be many more paedophiles that don't get punished I assume you don't want that?

I wouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone in the military or police or any career that involves regularly working away.

If Defence lawyers didn't exist how could we have fair trials ?
Innocent untill proven guilty is the basis of our criminal justice system.
Or should we just lock away everybody who has ever Been accused of a crime?

yeah it’s your choice and there’s nothing wrong with it. If someone didn’t like my job that would be fine too. I’m with you re. Not dating Police officers. Also wouldn’t date anyone in the forces. Plenty of other women would and do so, some women even prefer “men in uniform” so I’m sure they’ll lose no sleep over me not dating them.

I don’t actually have an issue with parking wardens specifically, but I’d prefer to date someone that has what I see as a better job.

The same way people often can and do look at someone and decide they want to decide someone else with a “better” face or body. It’s not morally wrong to exercise these kind of choices when choosing a potential life partner.

I was talking to this guy once who worked in warehouse. He just lifted things from 7am to 3pm, he’d done it for years and he wasn’t a supervisor or aiming for that AFAIK. I
did warehouse work when I was 17 on my gap year.

To me, we weren’t going to be compatible and I’d likely be carrying him financially.

I also know this guy who works in construction, every time I talk to him he has a work related injury (back injury, metal in eye etc ). I wouldn’t date someone in construction either unless they were at some kind of senior level which didn’t involve getting their hands dirty basically.

Exactly. Very rarely do men date women they think are unattractive and when they do I’ve noticed they often treat them especially bad. The women’s looks rarely grow on them as nice as she may be as a person.

And in fairness women too sometimes don’t date men who they think are ugly or “too short” and that’s just accepted even though people have less control over what they look like than what job they have.

It’s fine to not want to date certain men with certain jobs etc . Usually, women are hypergamous and will date at their level or slightly above both socially and economically. If you have moral objections that’s fine too. It’s your choice and you don’t owe anyone any explanation.

It’s your life, op. You’re smart for wanting to date someone with a bit more ambition.

Everyone deserves a fair trial. Innocent until proven guilty.

Surely your first point of whether to meet again is whether you enjoyed your date and found the guy attractive.

What criteria did you use to choose your ex? That's priority to ensure you don't pick one like that again

I can see that your friends may think it’s a shame, because you may miss out on someone who is very wonderful perhaps. Maybe, he is just the most amazing person.

That said, I think it’s absolutely a good thing in fact, to want to date someone who is aligned to your personal values and thinking. Better to do it that way, over having repetitive arguments or strain over the subject, later down the line.

Wow what an incredibly narrow minded view to hold. So of all the police officers in the country you say no to them ALL because you read somewhere they have a high level of domestic violence. I hope someone is teaching your children not to generalise and discriminate.
Fyi I know plenty of lovely police officers but I know a chef who beats his wife so I guess that's chefs out as well. 🤦🏼

Black men are statically more likely to be perpetrators of domestic violence than white men. (Harris 2021) Someone who used this stat as a justification to rule out dating BAME men might be thought of as narrow minded.

Yes, people who think like this might be better served in somewhere like North Korea.

@Everanewbie I would call that racist tbh. Let's agree to disagree.