to think it's fine to not want to date someone because of their job?

[Terracata]

According to my friend I am unreasonable. Met a guy on online dating, he said he worked for the council. Didn't go into detail re what until the date. He then told me that he is one of those people that puts parking tickets on cars. Cue me very quickly deciding I don't want to date him.

Personally I think at first date stage you can afford to be picky and can choose not to date someone for whatever reason you want. I don't want to date someone who waits around for someone to go 11 mins over their parking time to shove a ticket on their car.

Friend thinks I'm being daft and 'it's just a job'.

AIBU?

To be fair I kind of get it. I would have a hard time defending anyone who hurt children even though I believe they have a right to legal aid. I just couldn't and I would have a hard time being with someone who did this unless the person did a shitty job on purpose to get them behind bars. I have met too many molested children to have any empathy left for the perpetrators.

I've only been on dates with three men so it'd be a bit hasty for me to be moaning about not being able to meet anyone! I am however nervous about dating for the first time as a mum!

YANBU

If that is how you feel, that is how you feel.

There are definitely professions I wouldn’t date for many reasons no matter how nice the person may be, doesn’t mean they’re not a good person , just not for me.

For me it's not about that particular job, but ambition/drive. While it's a necessary job, I have a very different job and our lives would just be worlds apart.

I've tried this, hard to make work. If I want to offload at night about corporate finance and balance sheets, they need to be able to 'get it' to some degree. I'm sure there are many very worldly traffic wardens out there so depends on the person but as an immediate impression, it's a no.

I also have some other jobs I would be unlikely to date, unless I get to know a specific person and find out their job later. As previously mentioned by some, emergency services/ armed forces (huge drain on MH and I'm not equipped to deal with the lvel of support required as things stands), PT/athlete/similar (very restrictive lifestyle and I don't want this again), manual labour jobs (just unlikely to work as such different worlds/ lifestyles). I'm also quite skeptical about advertising/ sales/ property development...

Anyone see why I'm single? 😂

That's a good thing. Some men are deliberately targeting single mums in order to get access to their children. Don't be paranoïd but be wary.

And yet the other thread on here where someone is blocking a disabled child from returning home from school due to bad parking, loads of people are suggesting a parking warden should be called. Is that disgusting, or the offence of blocking someone’s driveway.

I'd rather date a traffic warden than someone who worked in HR and genuinely thought it was a useful and worthwhile job.

This.

It doesn't matter what puts you off at the early stages - whether it's his job or his shoes or his laugh or what he chooses from the menu or chewing loudly or being five minutes late without apologising and having a good reason, or him liking dogs better than cats or vice versa... although I personally think there's nothing wrong with being a traffic warden, I am certain that there is nothing wrong with turning down the next step in a relationship just because you feel like it.

Nobody owes anyone a romantic or sexual relationship or a chance at one.

It wouldn't bother me, it's a job someone has to do. I think the public they deal with can be worse. I remember one time on holiday with my parents at the beach my dad parked over two spaces as you couldn't really see the lines for the sand. I warned him tho I said "dad you're parked over two spaces you're gonna get a fine" and he said "nah I won't". We came back later to a clamp on the wheel. My dad was furious and when he spoke to the warden about how much it was gonna cost to have it removed he said "I hope you get cancer" to the poor bloke.

We all understand why we have traffic wardens, right? It's so we observe the law. If anyone could park anywhere without paying it'd be chaos. Giving someone a ticket for overstaying means they prevent someone else using that space. That someone else could be you or me.

With electronic means to pay for parking, we don't have to overstay, we can top up! Some people just want to save a couple of quid and run the risk. That's on them!

@Terracata you can choose who you want to date or not date for any reason. You are not being unreasonable, but pls don't think their job is anything other than there to help society run better, because honestly, that is what their job absolutely is about.

It's a brilliant job.
People deserve to be ticketed if they aren't following the rules.
Need more parking wardens.
All revenue should go to the council - no private companies - should be a council run operation.

I'd not say anything to your face but I'd think you very immature if I heard that this was the reason.
If you don't want to get a parking fine then purchase the appropriately timed ticket and display it on the windscreen. They only ticket people who haven't done this. It's no different from the people who work at HMRC collecting taxes or the people working chasing unpaid accounts at gas and electricity providers etc etc.

Bit OTT! He doesn't cull kittens!
I think income and intellect are considerations when your dating someone rather than what they actually do.

You can not date someone for whatever reason you want. You do not owe anyone a relationship.

But the traffic warden thing is weird. We need them, otherwise it would be mayhem out there. A young female one in my town was covered in plaster by someone she was ticketing. He was in the wrong. People park likes knobs, and should be held to account.
I think it would be a good job for me, as I tend to hate people 😂
I used to be a porter in a children's hospital. My job put someone off, as I sometimes had to deal with patients who had died. I was confused tbh, as it is not like I took my work home.

You can filter out people based on any criteria you want, and it's not being picky - you need to have some way to narrow down the dating pool! I wouldn't judge the character of someone who did the job though - as someone up thread pointed out, it's mostly done by ethnic minorities (where I live) and I admire the work ethic to do a hated job rather than live off benefits. Tbf I wouldn't have dated a traffic warden either, but only because i prefer someone to be in a career with steady progression prospects and job security. I never dated freelancers for that reason - the up and down of income would have been too stressful.

Having said that, I always thought shift work jobs was a no-no for me given i work a corporate 9-5. But DH who's police had great chat on the app and wrote so eloquently, I had to meet him. Am glad I did, as until then I thought of all police as the hard nosed, macho, worn down from life types - and he was an academic, cultured, ray of sunshine with a sensitive soul and hard edge when needed. I feel proud of him and the difference he makes, in a way I never did of my exH who did the same boring corporate job I did. The shift work hasn't been the problem i thought it would - which goes to show that trusting your gut is the most important thing in dating.

Sure, but you don't know if he personally does that. Perhaps he cuts people more slack.

I think if you had a good connection with someone and the only thing holding you back from moving forward is a job, I'd think you were daft. It clearly comes from a place of snobbery and writing off someone who you (maybe) had a connection with is stupid, but if that's how you feel own it.

Fine not to date anyone for any reason!

im not sure it’s fair to judge their whole personality on that particular job though; he didn’t make the rules. And I’d bet you wouldn’t be so worried about dating someone high up in the council who is in charge of parking enforcement or budgets.

he’s trying to earn a decent living enforcing rules.

you may have missed out on a good un, you’ll never know.

Perhaps he has ambitions to be more than a parking attendant? DH had a series of lowly paid, lower status type jobs before he found what he really wanted to do with his life, trained and became a professional healthcare worker in his 30s.

Or is it once a parking warden, always a parking warden?

YANBU to not date who you want.

YABU for thinking you are better than someone with a low-paid essential job doing a service that benefits the community.

It's fine to be picky as long as you're not bothered if men don't want to date a single mum which I'm sure puts a lot of guys off, especially if he doesn't have kids himself.

Thank you, very interesting.

I genuinely could not find a traffic warden attractive.

"one of those people that puts parking tickets on cars"

err Parking warden? Civil Enforcement Officer?
perfectly reasonable for you to not wish to date him, but you sound such a snob he's probably had a lucky escape.

It is a person with their whole life, hobbies, and interests... that happens to be a traffic warden. it is just the way they get their money.