to think it's fine to not want to date someone because of their job?

[Terracata]

According to my friend I am unreasonable. Met a guy on online dating, he said he worked for the council. Didn't go into detail re what until the date. He then told me that he is one of those people that puts parking tickets on cars. Cue me very quickly deciding I don't want to date him.

Personally I think at first date stage you can afford to be picky and can choose not to date someone for whatever reason you want. I don't want to date someone who waits around for someone to go 11 mins over their parking time to shove a ticket on their car.

Friend thinks I'm being daft and 'it's just a job'.

AIBU?

@Newmumatlast guessing they tell their lawyer they are guilty but under oath and have to do their best for them

I guess there are certain jobs that would put me off someone but it would more be to do with the things that go along with that job eg would I need to move to facilitate their work, would their job put them in danger every day, would they work ridiculous hours and leave me alone a lot of the time. But something like a traffic warden probably wouldn't bother me overly. I think I would look more at their qualities eg do they have drive and motivation to progress and develop themselves as I do.

But if people didn't park like dicks, we'd have no need for traffic wardens.
Your friends ignored the parking restrictions, then ignored the grace period that they were given on top of the restrictions and are now upset that being 1/2 mins (really 11/12 mins) late back they've got a ticket....

This. If you treat the grace period as a grace period, not as an extension, you arrive on time.

What you seem to want OP is a grace period for a grace period. And you'd want another after that presumably.

Perfectly fine. I could probably cope with a traffic warden as I can believe there are some who aren’t morally bankrupt but I’d never date a letting agent for example.

If a client tells a lawyer they're guilty a lawyer can't tell the court they aren't. They can test the other side's case but not say the witnesses are lying just challenge in terms of how do you know that's what you saw etc and then make a submission at half time to say the case hasn't been proved but if that didn't work they couldn't then carry on and defend the person by putting forward a case that the person didn't do it. Most of the time, therefore, a lawyer would say they couldn't continue to act if the person still wanted to go not guilty and wasn't in their best interests. A friend of mine tried to explain it as they're a lawyer in the field but yeah, if they confess you can't tell the court they didn't do it (you don't have to tell them they did but hence why it's easiest if they get a different lawyer or go guilty)

To answer your question though OP (sorry for my slight derailing) I don't think it's a problem to not date someone based on anything really. It's up to you and you've no obligation. However you could be missing a really nice loving person if you're too restrictive as people are more than their jobs.

You are perfectly free to date, or not date, whoever you want - however personally I think you are a raging snob, so be prepared for someone not to want to date you. I certainly wouldn't date a snob. This man has had a lucky escape in my opinion.

I don't think you're unreasonable for choosing not to go on another date you don't have to date anyone for whatever reason. However, I do think you are unreasonable to think somebody doing that job has no morals, is not a very nice person etc. For a lot of people a job is a job especially in this current financial climate, there are also a lot of people who are just selfish idiots with their parking. I live opposite a busy private school and we have been begging parking enforcement to turn up and do their job, maybe then we could get on and off our own driveways and not have cars driving and parking on pavements, double yellows and yes even sometimes the middle of the road on hockey match days! I do think you're being unfairly judgemental, but don't think you have to date the guy.

It's your choice. But your friend saying you're being silly makes me wonder if there's a pattern here.. do you rule out people all the time for various, sometimes trivial reasons? If you don't like him, you don't like him but sometimes we can self sabotage. And if he's great in other ways, I don't know if this should be a deal breaker! People take less than ideal jobs all the time for various reasons- and people's employment can change at any time!
I worked with a former traffic warden who left it to take a 'better' job.. actually said he wished he'd never left as it was a nice job, walking around all day and actually paid better than the new job!

@OrdinaryMatilda you do realise a large number of defence lawyers are poachers turned gamekeepers and also prosecute crime as well as defending. In both cases, their role is to test the evidence to ensure if there is a conviction it is a safe one. Ill-informed attitudes like your own simply make a very hard but entirely vital job much more difficult. These people deserve gratitude not your disgust.

For god's sake people, a democracy gives the right to a lawyer and fair trial. Would you really want to live in a world without that? Sorry to add to the massive derail...

You should date who you want. Just like I wouldn’t date a surgeon, or a “wannabe” artist/actor/musician or a high level manager in a corporate company.

What! Making sure people follow the rules of the road!

It's just job.

I would have huge respect actually. I am a rules sort of person though and am very grateful for traffic wardens and think they are awesome.

I would not date someone whose job didn’t match my values. Someone who ran a tobacco company for example. Or high up in the gambling trade.

So you would rather be with someone who was made redundant and sat on their arse because they were too important to be a cleaner or a traffic warden or something you didn’t feel was good enough?

Judging by the number of parking threads on here, many mumsnetters would be delighted to date a parking warden. He could ticket all their badly parked neighbours and school run drive blockers.

Lawyers will defend people that they know are guilty and suggest explanations for events to their clients - e.g. "I expect you found the old lady's purse on the floor."

It's no different when they defend paedos and I think it's a bit rich for lawyers to try and hide behind the nobility of 'everybody deserves a lawyer' when all they care about is winning/losing the case - even when that puts a paedo back on the streets.

Your friend is being unreasonable. You can choose not to date someone for any reason, or no reason at all.

I wouldn't date him if I was looking for something long term because he doesn't sound very ambitious. It sounds like a dead end job that is low paid so I wouldn't be interested.

There is a really good podcast called " things people do". Hosted by Jo Marlo. He interviews ordinary people about their jobs. It's so interesting. He interviews traffic warden once and honestly it opened my eyes. Well worth a listen

Totally fine not to date for job reasons. Most people do this without even realising they are.

I used to work with traffic wardens. They were a mixed bunch but mostly lovely. I remember being witness to extremely unreasonable abuse I personally could not have taken. It's not a job any of them would have sought out as a career goal. Some just didn't have a lot of job prospects and the hours etc suited, a couple had quite severe ADHD so being out and about walking miles each day was a great job for them. And while you might not like it, they are just actually upholding order on our streets. It's no biggie. Sometimes they will lurk to catch a car, and yes they will always take advantage of repeat offenders which are an easy win. They have targets to make, and at the end of the day if you get a ticket, you were the one in the wrong.

YANBU it’s your personal choice who you do not date and why

I would never date a bailiff or water ever they are called now

So not all of them then? I doubt very much defence lawyers are crying into their cornflakes because of my opinion, and nor is it making their job any harder.

No, I don't need to respect any role, where the purpose is to defend against the undefendable.

Sorry for derailing your thread OP.

Says a lot about people however, who are quick to scorn a traffic warden, question his intellect, and others who are blabbering on about the rights of paedophiles (which I never questioned).

Have a good day all!

Give me a traffic warden over a perennially unemployed bloke any day of the week. I doubt it’s his dream career but it’s an honest graft compared to the anxiety/IBS/bad back/Fibromyalgia crowd.

@Terracata its fine not so date someone because you don’t like their socks or the tone of their doorbell- it’s definitely fine not to date someone because of their job!