to think it's fine to not want to date someone because of their job?

[Terracata]

According to my friend I am unreasonable. Met a guy on online dating, he said he worked for the council. Didn't go into detail re what until the date. He then told me that he is one of those people that puts parking tickets on cars. Cue me very quickly deciding I don't want to date him.

Personally I think at first date stage you can afford to be picky and can choose not to date someone for whatever reason you want. I don't want to date someone who waits around for someone to go 11 mins over their parking time to shove a ticket on their car.

Friend thinks I'm being daft and 'it's just a job'.

AIBU?

OP still hasn't said what her job is! Other than she works for a charity.

I fucking love traffic wardens tbf, people are cunts and already at like the rules don't apply to them with there's a possibility of consequences, imagine if there was absolutely no deterrent to parking like a prick.

Couldn't date someone working for a charity mind, imagine actively taking money out of a charity when you know exactly where that money could be going to help less fortunate people, and then parading around the badge of "i work for a charity" as though theres some nobility in that, you may aa well with for a big pharma company. (Am I doing this right?)

I'm in slightly two minds about traffic wardens.

There is a junction near me that has hatchings and cameras. There are two lanes in and two lanes out. There are double yellow lines on the junction's exit. When people park on the double yellows it blocks the exit and people end up getting £130 fines for stopping on the hatchings. You'd think that would be a great place to hand out parking tickets, but people seem to be able to park with impunity on the double yellows at the junction's exit. I can't help but think they're working with the council to maximise the camera revenue.

Ultimately, people are selfish arseholes and traffic wardens are essential. Just go to Paris to see the chaotic and dangerous parking that happens when the rules aren't enforced.

@Maria1979 Some of those like PT, artist, musician, dj, youtuber, etc are also now middle aged so you do risk running into them on the dating scene.

With some like the PT, artist, dj, musician etc would work odd hours so if you did a normal job wouldn't be free when you are especially if say like an artist they also worked in hospitality to pay the bills. Others like a YouTuber you would have to find out what their channel(s) were about as many do a channel link to their current profession. So they could be a lawyer, doctor, IT professional, travel agent, journalist or whatever.

You mean those people that Stop selfish idiots from parking in disabled spaces. Stop selfish idiots from taking every parking space reserved for residents. Those idiots who ticket people who think they don't need to pay for parking or that rules don't apply to them. I think they are well rid of you if that's your attitude.

Someone being a traffic warden wouldn't bother me at all.
An abattoir worker for example would be a definite no.

Definitely not being unreasonable.

This.

Also no one goes into that job because they want to defend pedos ffs!

I’m a former defence solicitor. I got into criminal law because I believe everyone should have a fair trial regardless of means. You can’t pick and choose your cases - no one in the firm wants the horrible cases but that’s the job.

Me too. Not because I don’t have respect for them- I do hugely because it’s a really tough job but I am vegetarian and knowing what they had to go through (and the smell) would be really distressing

There are plenty of men out there who wouldn't date a woman who was too fat/skinny/tall/ugly.... we all have our preferences.

A job is a job these days. For all you know it could be a stop gap.

Might be time to change partner?

Based on MN stories, a few paeking tickets that he pays out of his own money is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things. Many one here are stuck with neglectful and/or abusive partners. Mine is good as gold apart from his twatish parking habits. So, on balance, I think I'll keep him.

You don't know that he's the type to ticket somebody 1 minute over, he might be very reasonable and fair but you've judged him already.
That could be your soulmate right there but you've come across a bit snobby tbh. Do you have an amazing job?

YANBU

YANBU. I wouldn't be bothered by the actual job, more that he appears to have less ambition and work based success. I'm attracted to ambitious people and wouldn't feel comfortable accepting a life with a low wage earner who had no ambition to increase it. Life is expensive, I want a partner who can help provide a good standard of living (alongside my income)

Op whatever about the parking attendant. The first guy you dated and said was lovely but no spark perhaps you should try a 2nd date with him. Give the spark a chance to grow ...

Yanbu. On reading the title my immediate thought was that I wouldn't go out with a traffic warden, bailiff or police. 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely no problem at all. You can date whoever you do and don't like.
I'm similar (i haven't come across a parking warden yet), but I want to date someone that matches my level of education and has a career that isn't what I consider blue collar. I also have some professions that I stay immediately clear of, armed forces, police, anyone in law, and a few other that I know harbour an above average amount of narcissists. One of my main requirements from a partner is someone who can intellectually challenge me, and someone who can tell me about their day, their work issues, what they learn through work etc and me be able to do the same. I can't imagine Mr parking warden will come home and have engaging stories about his day.
The only caveat to this would be is if he is doing it temporarily for whatever reason and is looking for a different role.

Ita so good to have your boundaries in place on date 1. Each to their own and equally I wouldn't judge someone that would date this person as again, they might have a different set of boundaries, also fine.
But you know what yours are.
Good luck with the ongoing search x

I think you’re fine to have whatever feelings you like. Out of curiosity though, did the date go well otherwise ?

Not unreasonable at all - you are perfectly entitled not to date someone based on anything at all, completely up to you.

Your view of parking wardens is odd though. Do you think parking should just be a free for all? And you do know they don’t make the parking rules? Would you not date a local councillor who sits on the committee that makes those rules?

My DP is a postman for the same reason. He was turning 40 and between jobs when I met him. Jobs can be a good indication of someone’s character but circumstances and context are important. If I’d been rigid about career and status requirements I wouldn’t be with the wonderful, kind, caring, supportive equal partner he’s proved himself to be.

I'm still none the wiser. Is the OP telling us she's unemployed.and volunteers for a charity? It's not as if you earn big coins working for one either.

You can reject a potential mate for any reason you want. No reason to make a big song and dance over it though.

I used to do that job but for the police . Nothing wrong with it . Get a grip

Completely fine. A womans gotta have standards. Your friend is the one that is being unreasonable. Ask her if she would date someone who defends paedophiles in court. Or a used car salesman. I wouldn't ever date anyone involved in the military nor anyone who even showed an inkling of interest in the military or anything related to military/forces. Nor police officer. That doesn't make me bad or petty or fussy. Just someone who knows the type of people she doesn't want to associate with.