Having I fucked up the sex talk?

[TheSmartestGiantInTown1]

Today my 6 year old asked me how a man's seed gets into a woman's tummy (I have told him previously that babies are made from an egg and seed). His 4 year sister was listening at the time. My Mum was a HCP so very frank and no nonsense about anything body related, so I was always of the opinion it was best to answer questions honestly but without lots of unnecessary detail. I therefore explained that a man puts his penis inside a woman's vagina, the seed goes into a woman's womb, and meets the egg there. My daughter asked where the babies came out, I said the vagina. They looked mildly surprised and the conversation moved on.

I'd never discussed this with DH and he is horrified- I now see that we should have discussed our approach to this inevitable question long ago. He says I've stolen their innocence, and they'll never see the world the same way again. Honestly they didn't seem that bothered- there was a lot more questions when I had to explain a family member died. However now I feel horrible. Have I totally fucked this up? DH said I should have said that people have a special cuddle.

Nothing wrong with telling the truth in an age appropriate way. How the he'll have you 'stolen their innocence?'

You're fine, your DH needs to leave the 80s behind 😅

That sounds like a very good explanation and age appropriate. Well done

You did the right thing. Your DH's response is a bit weird.

Bet your kids are going to love telling everyone at school tomorrow, the teacher could be in for some interesting questions 😂 I think it's more info than they needed at their age, but it's factual and it's not going to harm them.

Your DH is wrong.

So much less embarrassing telling them when they are younger and always better to give truthful answers to kids questions in an age appropriate way.

What's fucked up about that?

No one gets pregnant from a cuddle. You did the right thing.

Stolen their innocence?! 😂😂😂😂

Hell you told them facts not showed them a porn film.... He is nuts... My mil was of a certain religion.. Dh didn't see female genitals until I was giving birth. That's more damaging!!

'Special cuddle'? Urgh, no. I disagree with your DH. That's bound to lead to some confusion somewhere, best to explain factually as you have done.

@Toiletrollwaspreciousincovidtimes DH didn't see female genitals until you gave birth???

I'm sure they are fine. Factual is the best way to go. I think something like 'special cuddle' opens up a whole lot of confusion and worry- what if Grandma innocently asks him for a special cuddle at some point.

Thanks for the reassurance that this wasn't completely wrong. I had never given my Mum's approach a second thought (and obviously it didn't mess me up!), but DH's reaction surprised me.

I thought that kids will start talking about it in school and it's good to have the facts. I also don't want it to be a big taboo so the kids can talk to me or ask questions. But perhaps it was a bit much for KS1.

You did nothing wrong. I think it's much better to tell the truth which you did.
Saying people have a special cuddle won't satisfy a curious child for long. You would get the follow up questions about what sort of special cuddle and can I have a baby by having a cuddle etc

I think if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to get an explanation. I have said similar to my child.

I think you did bloody great. My DS were similar ages and asked and I pretty much told them the same.

Way too much nonsense and silly made up words for body parts causing way more confusion.

Quite.

Boring facts are great. Although when you have a CS kid you have to have the 'vagina most of the time but not you' chat. [chat]

I personally think there’s a lot to be said for answering, factually and in age appropriate terms, exactly what you’ve been asked. What you said sounds perfectly appropriate and you followed their cues by letting them move on - they’ll probably digest and come back with more questions when they’re ready.

Sounds like you did a great job. Kids need truth, simplicity and clarity when it comes to discussions about sex. Your husband's bonkers. Bloody special cuddle - what a load of horse manure!!

You did the best thing. Shows in your dc attitude, they took it in their stride.

My son asked just this evening 'what's that hole?' whilst I was changing my daughter's nappy. Told him it's where babies come out. He thought about it for a second and then said 'but she can't have a baby come out her lady bits! She's only a baby!' Just said that it's all ready for when she's grown up and ready to have babies. No further questions as of yet but I'm sure once he's had time to process, more will come.

Factual and minimal is the way to go. Answer what they ask and leave it to them to come back with follow up questions. Sounds like you did exactly what your son needed you to do in the moment

A sensible question deserves a sensible answer. I dont think you did anything wrong. What would your husband prefer? Cabbage patches and storks?

I think you did exactly the right thing. It's not a big deal, it's just biology. My DS sometimes tells me he wants to go back to being an egg in my tummy because he liked being so small.