Having I fucked up the sex talk?

[TheSmartestGiantInTown1]

Today my 6 year old asked me how a man's seed gets into a woman's tummy (I have told him previously that babies are made from an egg and seed). His 4 year sister was listening at the time. My Mum was a HCP so very frank and no nonsense about anything body related, so I was always of the opinion it was best to answer questions honestly but without lots of unnecessary detail. I therefore explained that a man puts his penis inside a woman's vagina, the seed goes into a woman's womb, and meets the egg there. My daughter asked where the babies came out, I said the vagina. They looked mildly surprised and the conversation moved on.

I'd never discussed this with DH and he is horrified- I now see that we should have discussed our approach to this inevitable question long ago. He says I've stolen their innocence, and they'll never see the world the same way again. Honestly they didn't seem that bothered- there was a lot more questions when I had to explain a family member died. However now I feel horrible. Have I totally fucked this up? DH said I should have said that people have a special cuddle.

I've always gone factual. Dh has come round to it. My parents never talked to me about anything, so no way was I going that route. They are really open with me which has it's pros and cons, like asking how two men have sex and two women have sex. Sometimes I'm tired and caught unawares and just answer them, it's only afterwards that I think, shit, should 8 have said that??? But I'd rather they got their facts straight.

Completely appropriate - your DH is being a bit weird I think. Most people would answer this honestly I think.

My daughter found it hilarious, and kept pretending she had forgotten and asking me again....

Now she is an adolescent we have a very open relationship in terms of discussing stuff to do with body, relationships, sex etc. She trusts me to be factual and honest. I am proud of that - long may it continue!

Give over. I have a clear memory from kindergarten (age 4-5?) of us having a discussion about where babies come from. One of the boys insisted a man pees inside a woman. I must have told my parents because next thing I know I have a set of age-appropriate books on the subject. Yes, I was very much aware of the names of body parts and there was nothing fked up about it. There were customary dogs, birds and bees in those books too so I also learned where chicken eggs come from and that chicken's private parts are called cloaca.
I am a perfectly well adjusted human.

I took a similar approach. DH was fully supportive but a bit taken aback when he came down to breakfast next morning to be told “morning daddy! I hear you put your penis in mummy’s vagina. Twice!”

How did he implant the seed into your tummy then? Blindfolded??

You did it exactly the way I did it. My kids looked at me and said something along the lines of 'Ew, I'm never going to do that!'. I'm Dutch, we don't tend to hold with the 'special cuddle bullshit'.

Your husband needs to give his head a wobble. 'Stolen their innocence' indeed!

😂😂😂😂

Mine were the same age when I told them similar. I was showing them all kinds of things about the body when they were young (I'm a qualified biologist so I'm on the enthusiastic side when they ask questions)
One was absolutely fascinated by the brain when he was 6, so we went pretty in depth about that. I think it's great to start early with facts, there's nothing shameful about the body and its processes.

Your children asked, you answered and it all moved on. Nothing wrong with that. You would only have affected their innocence by telling them when they hadn't asked.
My children are a bit older and I answer their questions as and when they ask, rather than having a sex talk at a certain age.
The sex talk has been helped along by having a fertile cat......

@Efrogwraig the one that caught me off guard was Ds1 starting year 7 and asking me what anal lube was. Turns out some kid brought it into school, said it was on his Mum's bedside table.

My son is 6 and I wouldn't have told him that penises go in vaginas, let alone my listening 4 year old. I don't think it's age appropriate personally.

I'd have probably said something like "that's a discussion for when you're a bit older" and moved the conversation away.

I get you want to be honest and open, but age appropriateness is important to make children feel safe and secure. There are just some things that come with age, I think at least.

I told my daughter around 5 and, as you say, they just take it onboard and move on with their lives. It’s just a fact. I’d be concerned your husband thinks learning facts equates to losing innocence, did he expect you to lie?

Oh that would be an ideal time to be a fly on the wall 😂

I'd have probably said something like "that's a discussion for when you're a bit older" and moved the conversation away

and that is why so many children don’t turn to their parents for questions to be answered and end up in shit scenarios.

Maybe just tell them they are not to talk about this in school lol, as not everyone tells their children so young

Yes - just imagine what they might think if granny asks them for a special cuddle? What a numpty.

I did exactly the same with my kids. Straight up and age appropriate.
They won't be confused by silly made up words. Well done. As for stealing their innocence 🙄

I'd be bloody petrified to cuddle anyone ever again with that explanation!

Umm... Ill tell him before he's having sex age!

There's a big difference between telling a 4 & 6 year old, and telling a 10 year old.

You did fab OP. Your husband has no clue what children are up against now days.

My Dsis never talked to my DN (her son) about babies / reproductive system where as I have always been honest with my similarly aged child. My child came to me concerned about DN because he had been saying some really disturbing things about how babies were made which my child knew were not accurate. I got permission from my Dsis to talk to DN and let me tell you, the playground nonsense he had been told by other kids at school was by far more damaging to him than the age appropriate truth.

At the time, my child and DN were around 8yo. All it takes is one child at school with unfiltered internet access and suddenly a whole group of children have been told really messed up things. I was so glad my child already knew the truth and had the trust to talk to me because it was a much more difficult to undo the inaccuracies my DN had

I told mine daddy gave mummy the seed and I ate it and they grew in my tummy 😳 I was on the spot but it just sounds a bit weird tbh! 😂 But I couldn’t imagine telling my 7 & 5 year olds now that daddy put his penis in mummy’s vagina. From this thread clearly I am in the minority but I honestly think it might upset them.

He says I've stolen their innocence, and they'll never see the world the same way again

Why is he being so dramatic? Children take basically everything in their stride at that age. You could tell them the world will end tomorrow and they'll just ask for a snack.

You gave a bit more detail than I'd have given at 6. I don't think they need to know the mechanics. I think i said the seed comes from the man, joins with the egg from the woman inside the uterus, grows there then comes out when ready to born.

Don’t do this - it makes it sound like it’s some dirty secret.

Findmebythesea1 i distinctly remember finding out how it worked in terms of penis/vagina at about age 9 from an age appropriate illustration in a children's encyclopaedia. At 6 i think they are still very much all about toilet humour and its a bit young for it.