Having I fucked up the sex talk?

[TheSmartestGiantInTown1]

Today my 6 year old asked me how a man's seed gets into a woman's tummy (I have told him previously that babies are made from an egg and seed). His 4 year sister was listening at the time. My Mum was a HCP so very frank and no nonsense about anything body related, so I was always of the opinion it was best to answer questions honestly but without lots of unnecessary detail. I therefore explained that a man puts his penis inside a woman's vagina, the seed goes into a woman's womb, and meets the egg there. My daughter asked where the babies came out, I said the vagina. They looked mildly surprised and the conversation moved on.

I'd never discussed this with DH and he is horrified- I now see that we should have discussed our approach to this inevitable question long ago. He says I've stolen their innocence, and they'll never see the world the same way again. Honestly they didn't seem that bothered- there was a lot more questions when I had to explain a family member died. However now I feel horrible. Have I totally fucked this up? DH said I should have said that people have a special cuddle.

This. There are worrying stats around the % of children who have been exposed to porn in primary school. That needs addressing for that age group plus many of those have with younger siblings. Those younger siblings then start sharing ‘info’.

Let children hear factual, biological descriptions first before the internet or someone in their class ‘educates’ them.

I think that's fine. I think I told mine the same sort of thing at that age and they both forgot about it. It made no impression at all. No biggie.

Your DH is being silly and over dramatic. What would he have said?

Why would being able to form the question mean they're ready to hear and process the response? They're two completely different things.

Since starting school, my child has come out with all sorts of questions and language that they wouldn't had they not been around children with older siblings. Being exposed to that, doesn't mean they're ready to know about it.

I think you're conflating them.

Age related boundaries are important to protect children emotionally. Just because they ask, does NOT mean they are truly ready to hear. Sometimes it's better to just not go there until they're mature enough to understand the issue properly.

If that's the style of parenting you're comfortable with then fair enough.

I have an open and honest relationship with my kids that has served me well for over 20 years. That includes putting my own discomfort aside to answer difficult questions at times.

Don't try and imply that I don't have age related boundries because I don't brush off questions from my kids. That would be very lazy parenting on my part if I did that.

Being exposed to things they don't understand means they either continue to not understand it , but join up the dots and come to their own conclusions, ask the people using that language what things mean and hear God knows what as an answer, or they ask their parent and either get an age appropriate answer that explains the basics, or they get brushed off and get their information elsewhere. You're fine with the latter, I'm not.

I'm not uncomfortable talking about sex. I am with a 4 & 6 year old though.

He never saw them until the birth. Oral sex he physically shuddered when I mentioned it. We married when he was 47. All I wanted on honeymoon was oral sex. He refused and went to sleep. Luckily airline hadn't flagged up my new luggage items... Divorced and I remarried... He had a fling with my landlord.
Keith..
It explained a lot..

Mary did!

Technically, the Holy Spirit came over her and she conceived. No cuddles. 'Jerry Springer: The Opera' (very Biblically based) produced an ancient heresy/belief/gloss on the annunciation: that Mary was raped by God. It was on the BBC version but when I saw a live production it was omitted.

No but in the awful situation that a child is sexually abused them knowing the actual term for body parts is really important. I know it’s not something anyone wants to think about but having experience in this area professionally children using other terms means it’s really difficult for actual evidence to be gathered.

Whaaaaaaaat??????
Oppressed homosexual in a nutshell.
Blimey

God only knew/knows love. He could never have raped anyone because he wasn’t a person to commit acts like that.
Man created evil and co to he’s making evil people by the power of mind and power and money.

My grandparents born in 1895 and 1891 never saw each other naked, apparently. All getting changed or sex happened in the dark or under the blankets. I'm sure they weren't unusual at the time. Granny had at least 5 pregnancies.

I did say it was a heresy.