He goes away, I can’t

[Aspire5253]

DH has been away to Europe without me twice this year. Once with a family member and once to stay with friends. When I was younger I used to visit Canada regularly. I know people there but they are not close friends. I considered going again, alone, as a kind of last hurrah, and relive a few old memories. (I’m 61 but fit).DH says No way and half jokingly that if I went he would change the locks. Basically there is no way I can go. We have plenty of money so the only issue is me going without him. Am I wrong to be annoyed at this attitude.

You know you're.not wrong.

I'm curious to know why he believes it's OK for him but not for you?

Interested to hear from whoever thinks YABU...

LEAVE THE BASTARD. Jeez. Go, travel, enjoy

When youve talked to him about it seriously, what’s his reasons?

I'm curious why you're still married to him.

Have you asked him why he thinks it's ok for him to go away without you but not ok for you to go away without him?

What did he say when you said, I'm not joking I want to go and you've been away twice without me this year, so what's the issue?

Goose. Gander. Sauce.
Goodbye DH. YOLO.

You’re 61 for goodness sake. Don’t let this sink cost of a man take any more of your life. Divorce and live your life!

Regardless of his reasons, how can he actually stop you going?

(And don't make it a last hurrah, make it a first hurrah. )

What reason - sorry, 'reason' - does he give for this? Or is it a bullshit one like 'worrying about your safety'? 🤔

I'd tell him to fuck off to be honest. What's good for the goose, is good for the gander.
He doesn't ask your permission, so why do you need to ask his?

Change the lockdown yourself then

Call his bluff. Go, and have a divorce lawyer lined up for when you get back.

A last hurrah at 61? Bloody hell, you're not old, OP. Make hundreds of plans and live them - with or without your strange-sounding DH.

That's so odd.

It's the mentality of a man who's scared of you going away as he'd be left looking after the babies, but I take it you're not surrounded by screaming toddlers or anything?.

Even those men (-no you're not going anywhere because of the kids but I'll go on week long benders leaving you alone with them no problem...) are awful but your husband has no excuse!

What's his problem??

So many questions. Why is he so against you going away ("would change the locks"). Why on earth can't you have a holiday together? Is this a second or long time marriage? Do you have access to your own money? More context is needed.

Who made him your boss?

Of course you should go OP.

He says half jokingly he'd change the locks?

I'd give him a pitying look and say, 'Don't be so utterly ridiculous. That's illegal and you would find yourself in a great deal of trouble. If I choose to go on holiday I shall do - in the same way that you have done. If you are hinting that this means you want a divorce I'm happy to discuss this with a solicitor. Are you really wanting to divide the assets 50/50 because that's what will happen?'

Why on earth would you allow this? Presumably you’ve told him you can do just as he does and go where you want/do whatever you like, just like he does? What sexist shite am I reading? Are you tolerating this crap, OP?!

Of course it's not ok.

Please just book it and go. You are an adult. You do not need his permission.

Call his bluff.

Let him change the locks the silly little prick.

Yes I assumed it would be exactly this when I opened the post... outright shocking to hear it from someone 20 years down the line

What does "half jokingly" mean because you obviously think it's NOT a joke. Why do you think he doesn't want you to go? Is he controlling in other ways?

Me too. Just leave- life is too short to put up with that crap