He goes away, I can’t

[Aspire5253]

DH has been away to Europe without me twice this year. Once with a family member and once to stay with friends. When I was younger I used to visit Canada regularly. I know people there but they are not close friends. I considered going again, alone, as a kind of last hurrah, and relive a few old memories. (I’m 61 but fit).DH says No way and half jokingly that if I went he would change the locks. Basically there is no way I can go. We have plenty of money so the only issue is me going without him. Am I wrong to be annoyed at this attitude.

Who made him the boss of you?

Direct conversation required - not inuendo and interpretation

Talk to the man!

Quite.

Am I wrong to be annoyed at this attitude.

No, you’re not wrong. YANBU.

I thought you were about to say you've got 2 kids under 5 and he needs to lose out on work to look after them. But you don't mention kids so you've got nothing holding you back. I agree with the above poster, laugh in his face and book your trip. What exact reason does he give. I have 2 kids under 10 and it's difficult for me to go away on my own as DH would have to take leave. When I'm your age he will be happy for me to go whenever I want as our youngest will be 20. Please don't let a man control your life like that.

Unanimous answers dear OP. We have just one tiny shot at this precious little life, make a solicitor appointment and get fast tracking a divorce. There is no time left to waste what's left if your time on earth reducing your life to this amount of pure and horrific double-standard-control freakery - get out and away with you to your travels and your next shot at a life worth living ♥️ go for it love!

Basically there is no way I can go

Why not?

We travel on different trips a few times a year due to different work commitments- not ideal but great for our child- he gets more overseas trips!

Get legal advice about finding all the money, pension money, etc and leave him. This is not a healthy relationship.

marriage is a scam for so many women.

what is the point of such a relationship, for some man to tell you what you can and can't do??

So I assume you will be changing the locks next time this one rule for you, one for me, double standards bastard, fucks off on holiday again?

Basically there is no way I can go. We have plenty of money so the only issue is me going without him

What do you mean you can't go?

Go Go Go!
Hardly a last hurrah OP you're 61 not 81 and you have twenty possible years of travel and fun ahead of you.
I'd tell my DH that as much as love him I'm going to travel and if he wants to come along then that's great but if not, I'm going anyway!
Life is too short OP. Book the flights, enjoy your life.

He won't really change the locks of course, he's just worried that you'll find a handsome Canadian Mountie while you're out there.

Change the locks before you go away and don’t give him the new key. Obviously make sure he’s out when you go.

I would call his bluff tell him he had no right to change the locks on a joint property and there cannot be one rule for him and one for you and either he stops going away without you or he lets you go or it’s divorce

It seems like some context is missing. It depends on when you mentioned the solo trip during the conversation.

Go on your trip. Have your essentials packed and give to friend/family/put in storage until you return. If the locks have been changed serve him with divorce papers.

Dust your passport off, book a ticket and go. It's your life. Go travel.

Go and don't look back, cheeky so and so!

Does he think you are his property?
or his child?

His attitude is ridiculous and disgusting.
You are an adult, a free, independent human being. Book all the trips you want, live your life.

Just go! If he unlawfully changes the locks to keep you out of your own home then that’s on him and you will have legal recourse. No reason you should be kept captive to do his laundry and housekeeping.
also you are far too young to be talking about a “last hurrah”, life is for living.

Yoo-hoo where did you go? We need some answers. If he makes plans to go away again how about you go at the same time.

Tell him to go fuck himself!

Who the hell does he think he is? Why is it OK for him to go away without you but not vise versa?

What, in short, THE FUCK??????

Fuck, as they say, that.
I'd be booking my plane ticket.

Do you work ?

Do you have access to your own money or to a joint account ?

Do you have a valid passport ?

Look on Skyscanner.com for the cheapest flights

Next time he goes away, why can't you go away at the same time ?

Life is too short to be miserable !

Look at extreme day trips as well, people are flying everywhere !!!