To expect other women not to hold door to ladies changing area open?

[swimmingannoyance]

I take my DD(3) to a toddler swim class on a Saturday morning. It's usually a mixture of mums and dads in the pool, separate changing areas obviously. However the changing areas open directly into the corridor where other parents (the non swimming parent) tend to congregate and wait. DD's class is mostly dads with just me and one other mum, so just me and her in the changing area after the class today. I'd already removed my costume under my towel and was drying myself off, obviously naked under a towel, chatting to DD. Next thing, the other mum opens the door (her costume still on) to have a conversation with her male partner who was waiting in the corridor whilst I'm standing feet away under my towel naked. I wasn't directly in his line of vision of had she opened the door any wider, I would have been (hard to explain without a picture of the set up). It was only a matter of a minute or so, she was from what I could gather trying to get her toddler to go with dad so she could change by herself.

AIBU to have been annoyed about this? Surely if you want to have a conversation with your partner and you're in a ladies changing area, with another woman who you can see is mid getting changed, go out into the corridor instead?? It just felt like an invasion of my privacy, I'd never have opened the door to casually chat to my DH outside the door of a changing area if another woman was changing.

Some people just have no awareness, self or otherwise, unfortunately. She probably just wafts about thinking, me me me. There are hunners like her I'm afraid. Next time she does it you have to clearly point out to her the error of her actions, politely and with a smile cos these types can be volatile 😮

She was very rude, and you shouldn't have had to ask her to close the door. Anyone with any awareness of other people's feelings wouldn't have done it. I would speak to her next time you see her or are in the changing room with her, and ask her to make sure she doesn't hold the door open, or ask the person in charge of the class to speak generally o parents about it.

Can the centre not put up signs to remind people not to go to the door of the other sex changing room?

Do the men have to walk past that door to get to their changing room?

If not then the corridor should be made female only to provide privacy if the door design does not.

This would have annoyed me too. We used to have toddler swimming lessons in a similar pool, except the door opened directly onto the pool. After the lesson, four of us would head straight into the changing room to get changed and one woman would take her child to the shower on the other side, wash their hair, and reappear into the changing room after about 5 minutes. Except she would let the toddler go through first and the toddler without fail would charge full speed through the door so hard it would whack off the wall behind it, fully opening the entire changing room to the pool area so that everyone had a full view. I would change my child first and wait until she came back in to get myself changed because there would be no warning when they made their entrance. I never bothered saying anything but just thought wow some people have no consideration for others.

We have wildly different definitions of aggressive, let's just leave it at that. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes the men have to walk past the female changing area to get to theirs.

Oh god, there's just no consideration for others with some people is there? Absolutely no need!

Me neither.

Would a reminder from the toddler group organiser to remind people to NOT hang around the opposite sex changing rooms work?
Or they swap around who uses which room?

Some people are just inconsiderate twats, including the person who designs a changing room like this.

@burnoutbabe Yes this might be a good idea. I might send an email to them.

I think it’s obvious YANBU.

Otherwise why bother having women’s changing rooms, or changing rooms at all?

Why not all just get changed in the corridor if it’s fine?

It's extremely inconsiderate and thoughtless. They're treating the place as if they have sole use of it, with no thought for other users. You shouldn't hold open the door of a public changing room, ever.

Nobody needs to have an urgent conversation with their dh while they're getting their child changed either.

And I've never forgotten the dad on Twitter adding his voice to support women wanting men kept out of women's changing facilities. He said that if you go anywhere that dads take daughters to sports - swimming pools or sports centres - there's always one or two dads waiting very near the female changing rooms in just the right place to "accidentally" see inside when someone opens the door.

I used the term men gawping because whilst the woman in question was holding the door open to speak to her husband, you have no idea who was walking past at the same time.
Pretty much the same reasons why I close my curtains when I am changing at home or why bathroom windows have frosted glass, people like privacy when undressing and nobody normal would want to see inside a changing room anyway.
Only on mumsnet would another woman describe you as unhinged because you like privacy and modesty.

Well yes, nobody normal would want to see inside a changing room and nobody actually was trying to see, not sure what your point is there?

OP even stated the woman held the door at an angle where she couldn't be seen, so I'm assuming the door wasn't held wide open and the woman was standing in the gap between door and frame anyway. Nobody opens a door to speak to someone and stands right back in the room leaving the doorway totally unobstructed, that would just be weird.

So... nobody saw anything. OP still has her modesty. It's a total non event.

Yeah, this is bollocks isn't it. I did not say I just didn't like her. I said I've previously found her to be rude
Oh it's clear you don't like her, regardless of whether you said the actual words "I don't like her" 😂

And I've never forgotten the dad on Twitter adding his voice to support women wanting men kept out of women's changing facilities. He said that if you go anywhere that dads take daughters to sports - swimming pools or sports centres - there's always one or two dads waiting very near the female changing rooms in just the right place to "accidentally" see inside when someone opens the door
🙄. My eyes simply do not roll back far enough. lol

It’s a changing room where women change and strip naked , you do not hold the door open and let men gawp in
Of course you don't. So, thankfully, that isn't what happened here. 🤷‍♀️

Can't believe that there are people on here who would happily have held a door open from a room containing naked women, onto a corridor where random strangers could have been staring in
Meh.
This isn't even remotely true so perhaps you could pack away your bewilderderment and stop making up scenarios as overdramatic as the OP.

As well as the fact there are children presumably getting changed in that space too which opens with a view from the corridor
Nah, I'm sure that would have brought a whole new level of melodrama. OP wouldn't have left that off 😆

she is in a state of undress and its a space where women should not need to hide under a towel. Its an intimate space for women
If the OP took her costume off UNDER her towel, which is absolutely her right to do so, her wanting to 'hide under a towel' has nothing to do with the only other woman sticking her head out the door for one minute to tell her partner something. OP was already hiding under a towel. The door opening briefly and not enough to give him a view into the room, did not make her do so🤷‍♀️
In women's changing rooms we have the right to expect not to share space with men or older boys whose mothers can't bear to be parted from them. We should be able to expect that space will not be left open to men passing by or gossiping at the door
And thankfully, it seems that was all protected here. No space shared with men or older boys. No mothers who can't bear to be parted 🙄
No spaces left open or gossiping at the door. I do think you might be on the wrong thread

But just having at least some people say "yes I'd have felt similar", has helped to confirm that my feelings were indeed valid. I don't need a specific percentage - that's a bit black and white thinking. It's enough to know that at least some people have understood and would have felt similar
Oh, but OP, with so many of them posting things Which was are factually incorrect, therefore, bollocks by definition, as you say, how does that make you feel better? It just adds to the melodrama, surely?

@CJsGoldfish
Mate the only person seeming to enjoy revelling in drama on this thread is you 😂
A lengthy post like that in the early hours? 🤣
I'm over it. You on the other hand...... 😬

In the same vein, I was at a tourist attraction last week. There was a man stood in the women's toilets outside the baby change, watching his wife change their newborn. When she'd done that they swapped and she changed their toddler and he then walked around the women's toilets with the newborn! I wanted to say get out the women's toilets!! Just so strange and it was obvious the women in there were uncomfortable. There was a baby change in the men's (I know because my partner changed our toddler) so he should have taken one of the kids next door and changed them so his wife didn't have to do both and so he didn't have to loiter in the women's.

@rickandmorts
That's so entitled and rude! Why do they think this is acceptable? The mind boggles.

You could have used your words OP. So much drama over an easily fixed problem.
Buy a large changing towel and move on with your life

And bo one said anything? I would have asked him to leave.

Why are some couples so clingy hey can't function alone for five minutes?

There is no 'drama'. You're being a touch histrionic yourself.

OP didn't know how to react at the time, as people often don't, so she started a thread online to offload about it.

That's what internet discussion forums are for. If you didn't like the thread no one was forcing you to read it.

Yes, you certainly seem like you're over it 😂

Your post is factually incorrect, therefore, bollocks by definition 😆

@BettyBardMacDonald I was on holiday so if I were confident they spoke English I'd have said something but no everyone just looked uncomfortable. I don't understand why he didn't take the baby and walk around outside the toilets? He was just strolling up and down, it was so strange and uncomfortable.

Quite! Hilariously ironic that the accusations of "all this drama" are coming from posters who are making extensive posts in the early hours, thus adding to the drama of a thread and a situation that I'd basically forgotten about when I went to sleep last night 🤣🤣 Yes, really seems like the drama is being created by me 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣