To expect other women not to hold door to ladies changing area open?

[swimmingannoyance]

I take my DD(3) to a toddler swim class on a Saturday morning. It's usually a mixture of mums and dads in the pool, separate changing areas obviously. However the changing areas open directly into the corridor where other parents (the non swimming parent) tend to congregate and wait. DD's class is mostly dads with just me and one other mum, so just me and her in the changing area after the class today. I'd already removed my costume under my towel and was drying myself off, obviously naked under a towel, chatting to DD. Next thing, the other mum opens the door (her costume still on) to have a conversation with her male partner who was waiting in the corridor whilst I'm standing feet away under my towel naked. I wasn't directly in his line of vision of had she opened the door any wider, I would have been (hard to explain without a picture of the set up). It was only a matter of a minute or so, she was from what I could gather trying to get her toddler to go with dad so she could change by herself.

AIBU to have been annoyed about this? Surely if you want to have a conversation with your partner and you're in a ladies changing area, with another woman who you can see is mid getting changed, go out into the corridor instead?? It just felt like an invasion of my privacy, I'd never have opened the door to casually chat to my DH outside the door of a changing area if another woman was changing.

You really have. You swore at one poster twice on the first page!

Another 'not my Nigel', no doubt. The human door-stop and the PP who made the comment above.

Women's changing rooms are for women only. She can talk to her partner outside.

If there's any repetition of this, ask her to please close the door as people are changing in here. The second phrase is important as it subtly shames them; any pushback from this and you're justified in responding that this isn't a public show.

Not everyone is the type to take such a broad hint, but some might.

Agree. Some of us have standards.

Of course it's been 50/50 - people are different aren't they. But just having at least some people say "yes I'd have felt similar", has helped to confirm that my feelings were indeed valid. I don't need a specific percentage - that's a bit black and white thinking. It's enough to know that at least some people have understood and would have felt similar.

Surely everyone's feelings are valid to themselves?

I feel like I've entered an alternate universe sometimes 😂

Seeking validation for being annoyed is kinda the whole point of Am I Being Unreasonable? is it not?

Seeking validation for being annoyed is kinda the whole point of Am I Being Unreasonable? is it not?

I thought so, yes 😂

Yes, I would feel the same as you, but I don't think it was malicious, rather thoughtless and inconsiderate. You should have spoken up though rather than silently seethe.

I can't think of anywhere that it would be a "cultural norm" to open the door of a changing room and speak to your male partner (or female, for that matter!)

I don't think this thread is ever going to make you feel any better though. You seem to have worked yourself up from angry to incandescent, given the tone of the replies. I find people increasingly inconsiderate, but there are still some kind and thoughtful people out there. I'd hazard a guess she was stressed by her children - I hated swimming lessons, although I did 9 years at the side of that goddamn pool!! - and I just don't think you were on her radar at all.

Put it out of your head, and enjoy your Saturday night!

What a thread this is!

Has anyone actually disagreed with the OP and suggested that the other woman should have held the door open? I think not.

And yet here's the OP effing and jeffing at all comers who dare suggest that she might have handled the situation better

Talk about starting an argument in an empty room!

@MasterBeth
That's a huge exaggeration and you know it. I'm not "effing and jeffing" at anyone who disagrees. What utter hyperbolic garbage 😂

I don't think this thread is ever going to make you feel any better though

On the contrary. It actually has.

Not valid, imo. You were wrapped in a towel, ie not naked.

Maybe you should get one of these if you're that worried that the towel might slip and someone get a glimpse of bosom or buttock:

"FFS", "this is bollocks."

@MasterBeth
Yeah I'm aware of what I said to the odd poster, thanks 😂

I'm saying it's an exaggeration that it's "anyone who disagrees"

Yes, but it was only through luck that none of the dads saw OP naked, had her towel dropped. it certainly wasn't because of the judgement of the other women in the changing room who opened the door for a chat to her partner. In any case, I wouldn't want the dads seeing me wrapped in only a towel, whilst drying myself off.

And the poster who I replied to saying their comment was bollocks, was the one who said "OP just doesn't like this woman, she's admitted that". Which was factually incorrect, therefore, bollocks by definition.

FFS, this is bollocks.

You can't put quote marks round something you said in order to pretend it's something I said.

@MasterBeth ok 😂
You're right, I don't have the energy 😂

@DOBARDAN
Thank you!

It would annoy me too.

As well as the fact there are children presumably getting changed in that space too which opens with a view from the corridor.

YANBU I would have been fuming. Can't believe that there are people on here who would happily have held a door open from a room containing naked women, onto a corridor where random strangers could have been staring in.

Agree, you seem really aggressive.
You obviously have reasons for feeling like this but I do find it odd to be so bothered about an open door in a changing room .
You had a towel on you and the man ( most likely ) was not some kind of depraved pervert trying to have a look at you .

OP has a bit of a problem in that she can't see how agressive she is. And because she is agressive here, most of us simply can't understand why she couldn't open her mouth and even say something like "can you shut the door, I'm gettig changed"

So i guess she just wanted to... who knows.

The posters who are saying you're being a bit over the top are mostly saying the other mum WAS inconsiderate though, just that your reaction to it ie not saying anything to her but being extremely vocal about it on a thread is a tad extreme.

Some of the posters that are filling you with glee as they're agreeing with you however, seem to be a little unhinged. They've turned one dad speaking to his partner into "men gawping" and being "under the male gaze".

If you're happy with validation from people who are a bit extreme in their reactions rather than your average, non dramatic, measured response, then I guess this thread has helped you find that.