To want to see my own family instead of hosting in-laws when husband not here?

[BrainAddled]

Husband is going on a golf trip away with his dad for 5 days. He wants me to have his mum here with me, while he and his dad go golfing. She is not easy going and I won’t be able to relax and go about my life normally. She is not infirm or unable to stay at home on her own - They live in the same village as my husband's sister, who is always on hand anyway.
My family want to come and stay that week and I would like them to. AIBU to want to see my family instead, when he is going golfing with his Dad?
I would really like to know how many people on here host their in-laws when their husband is not there at all. I’ve had them on my own for a week before, when husband wasn’t even in the country, but it takes a lot from me because they are not easy going at all.
Thank you.

He's not going to be home, and he doesn't need to arrange or get involved in your plans.

Just make it clear to him that you have already made plans. He can’t dictate how you spend your time when he is away

Let's check if this is horrible sexist...

If you went away on a jolly with your dad, would be host your mum for a week? I bet a lot of money he'd think that was weird.

Have your family over.

If he wants his family members to come and stay, he has to host them himself.

He is going golfing for 5 days. You can do what you want that week. Sorry MIL, you can’t stay becuase my family are visiting. F that having a DH who dictates who is staying when he is away.

That's mental. Do what you want to do.

He's probably guilty he's taking his dad away and leaving his mum alone. And/or he thinks you would like the company, I'm sure he thinks his mum is great.

Absolutely yanbu. If you were away would he even consider having your family to stay? He can arrange a visit for them when he's home.

Also, the best way of making me never support DH going away again would be to have the ILs there while he wasn't. No more golf for you DH!

My family will stay during the time he is away

So in our world, MIL lives with SIL and is quite frail. If DH and SIL went away together for a jolly, I would happily step up to help MIL (she'd stay at SIL's but I'd probably pop in a few times, offer to take her out etc). Similarly, my parents aren't local so if they came to visit and mum and I decided to pop off to a spa for a few days, I'd expect Dh to be fine with my dad continuing to stay at our house. Similarly, when DH's dad was visiting and staying in a hotel, I had him over here to have dinner with me and the DC a few times on nights DH was working.

HOWEVER, in your situation, I don't understand. Your MIL is perfectly capable of being at home alone, she doesn't have a particularly close relationship with you, so why on earth would you she want to com estay with you for the weekend?

No of course you don't have to host anyone unless that is something you want to do.

I'm surprised you feel the need to check - or is that indicative of your wishes being undermined generally?

I think I’ve always done whatever makes him happy, so I am second guessing myself.

The whole idea is utterly bizarre. She doesn't need round the clock care, why is it even a suggestion that she cones to stay? Is she never on her own and scared or something?

DH would only suggest this is MIL was suddenly infirm or something and he was worried about her. But in that case ue wouldn't be off golfing with FIL anyway so it's moot

Every few weeks-they are up north. We are central.
I see my family 4 times a year due to work commitments etc.

I've never heard of anyone doing this. Spend the time with your family and let your DH host his own mother.

I think I’ve always done whatever makes him happy

Time to go away for a week-long jolly then. Invite your folks to stay with him. Do no prep work at all.

It wouldn’t occurred to me to do this in the slightest. Tell him that you made plans and want to see your family.
The situation @MrSeptember described is normal but yours is very different.

Well, it's ok to prioritise yourself.

If your preferred guests are your family tell him.

I'd be surprised if your MIL wouldn't feel more comfortable in her own home anyway - maybe she's been pressured too.

Why does it matter? OP is under no obligation to see his or her family. The fact of the matter is that she simply doesn't want to host MIL and wants to host her own parents. How often she sees any of them is not really going to have much of an impact on her willingness to change her plans (or expectations for her to do so).

Nope. Nope, never, not happening, nope.

So would he have your mum to stay if he had a few days on his own?