Boyfriend cancelled to spend time with his mum

[pinkerline]

Boyfriend lives with his parents (the save for a deposit) 5 min drive away, finishes work around 7-8pm usually.

I live alone with DS age 5.

Boyfriend popped over last night for a couple of hours, and said he'd come over again tonight.

Usually we'd get to spend two nights a week together, but we're both away this weekend.

He has now cancelled, as he is going to spend the night with his mum as she spent last night on her own. This is because boyfriend's dad is away for work this week.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous reason? Maybe I'm insensitive.

So the family hate you for getting pregnant but he is much loved yet did half of the baby making. He should have covered it up if it’s such a big deal. Losing a baby is hard enough without family drama.

if his mum can’t spend one night alone while husband is away then what will happen if you live together? Will he disappear every time?

after 4 years he could have saved loads for a house but he has chosen to go on holidays etc which is fine but he will be living at home for ages.

you deserve someone who will put you first

And how well will that work when his family don't speak to you'?

And please don't move into his house

You said you have a son…Think how ridiculous you sound. Maybe his mum doesn’t like being alone. It’s one night. Get over yourself.

Maybe some time apart would be a good thing then.

That's all well and good while he's a boyfriend but what about when he becomes a husband? Or a father?

He's a mummy's boy and you need to get your head around the fact that mummy will be a third wheel in the relationship. Then take it from there.

I'm not advocating for abandoning the old lady, but to drop everything at a moment's notice is not on.

Run.

What a sensitive and thoughtful chap. Also, you don’t know, I am guessing, whether his mum has any issues such as anxiety, a physical condition, where it may be a bit of a worry to leave her alone.

Are you serious? That’s a lovely thing for him to do. Shows his caring nature. You should be supporting him. I think you’re being very selfish.

He lives with his mother. He's with her every day. He gave OP all of two hours of yesterday, and now claims he needs not to leave his mum alone again.

The woman is 55 and holds down a job. I is be very surprised if she can't manage another two hours on her own.

It's not lovely or caring for a grown adult to give their partner of four years just two hours of his time a week, while giving his mum every day.

And OP is selfish for wanting to have more than two hours a week of her partner's time, when they've been together for four years?

I'm not advocating for abandoning the old lady

What old lady ?
His Mum is 55 and works full time and I'm pretty sure the OP would have mentioned if she had some chronic condition or disability that meant she couldn't be left for 3 or 4 hours.

Seriously ?

He live with his Mum. He sees her every day, in the morning before she goes to work and in the evening when he gets home. Then during the evening presumably the 5 nights a week he doesn't see the OP.

So that would be "one night" that his Mum doesn't spend the evening with him, as opposed the the (now) 6 nights the OP doesn't spend the evening with him.

I don't think it is the OP who needs to 'get over herself'.

The question is - did he really stay in with Mum that evening or was it an excuse.
if it was an excuse - why...

A 4 year relationship and they ' usually ' see each other twice a week...

it's not a ldr either.

I am beginning to think that none of these posters have read the whole thread.