Could this be passive aggressive fat shaming?

[Blueberryancakes]

Im a UK 20 and I feel the heat. I’m always a bit warm. My work gets very hot. Big windows and no ventilation.

I rarely put the air con on because as soon as I do some of the woman I work with complain it’s too cold. I bring a desk fan to
work with me and keep it aimed at me and no one else.
I work at a doctors surgery. Lots of the patients make comments about how hot it is in the waiting room. Some even wait outside.Very often woman patients always make a comment on my fan saying how they could never work with a fan as they’d be freezing. If the air con is turned on some woman will comment how cold it is.
I think FFS it’s not you that has to sit in here all day. Men never complain, never comment. It’s mainly middle aged
woman. Yes I’m fat, yes I get hot. I try my best to have a small discreet fan on my desk. But woman seem to make such a song and dance about it.
My husband said today he thinks it’s a passive aggressive way for them to call me fat.
Anyone else think there’s any truth in this?
Is it a way to come across ultra feminine to be cold?
Sorry if this come across bonkers?

I'm quite fat but also get really cold?!

I don’t think it’s fat shaming at all.
I think people are either hot or cold people regardless of their weight. I’m a size 18 and always freezing, whereas my boyfriend is tall and very slender and he’s always really hot.

At my work, we have worked out there are two types of people - lizards and polar bears. Lizards are never warm, they're always in multiple layers and want the heating on. Polar bears (I'm a polar bear) always have short sleeves on, and want the air con' up!

People coming into the surgery are sometimes going to be nervous or anxious and whilst talking to you may just say the first thing that comes into their head which is seeing the fan and they comment on.

A bit like when you meet someone on a dog walk and your polite chat is about the weather.

You're reading into it.

No one is fat shaming you.

Yep. I'm a size 10 and I'm always hot 🤷‍♀️

Competitive coldness, fucking heard it all now 😆

I'm a lizard, I feel the cold really badly and absolutely hate it when the Aircon is on in the office. I have a blanket in my desk drawer and a personal radiator. I'd live in a vivarium if I could, I just get cold. I'm not in competition with anyone, and I'm not calling anyone fat.

Yes agree it's the teeny tiny types

Lots of the patients make comments on how warm the waiting room is? And they wait outside because it's so hot? But then lots say they couldn't work with a fan on them like you because they'd be cold?

And it's only women because you say the men never comment? So it sounds like women are both commenting when it's too hot and too cold? Which seems normal?

Personally your DH is the only person making the link between comments and your weight 🤷

If it's usually middle aged women saying this, then doesn't it make sense that it's usually menopausal women who are known for having fluctuations in body temp??

I don't think it's to do with weight at all - my friend sand I all run either hotter or colder than each other and I don't see it's any comment on anyone's weight...?!

I’m always cold. We have window wars in our work office in the winter. Some people always want them open and others closed.

there is no correlation between body weight and how hot or cold the staff are

It is no fun being anywhere within firing range of an air conditioning unit's icy blast.

You mean… (shock horror) people at a heathy weight with a normal appetite?

What makes you think that skinny shaming is ok but fat shaming is not? Double standards!

mushpush

Personally your DH is the only person making the link between comments and your weight 🤷

This!

And, as a PP said, it seems a bit unkind of him.

I think your DH’s comment was troubling, if anything.

I do think women are either more sensitive to temperature or more liable to do something about it, than men. They don’t have hormonal variations to the same extent women do.

I think you’re looking for trouble. Some people like it hot, some cold, women are more likely to express this than men - that’s it. Nothing to do with your dress size.

The first rule of fat club is don't talk about fat club - on MN. People get very upset and believe if you ‘just’ move more and ate less the whole world would be like Sound of Music.

Yes this. The women at work aren't calling you fat. But your husband IS
Not nice.

I have a very finely tuned thermostat. A true goldilocks.
I'm either too hot or too cold. Very rarely just right but a slight tilt one way or the other is unbearable.
In short, I'm a pain in the arse.
So when folks like me whinge about the temperature, it's all about us.
Please don't take it personally

Baike
People get very upset and believe if you ‘just’ move more and ate less the whole world would be like Sound of Music.

Full of nuns and Nazis?
What's that got to do with being fat or not?
Or feeling the cold or not?
I suppose a nun's habit could be quite cosy and pretty forgiving figure-wise...

You are definitely being oversensitive.

Oh do fuck off with your boring body shaming shite

Maybe it was a way to stop you going on about it and making it all about you?

I doubt they have secret meetings just to to discuss annoying you

I too always feel the cold whether I'm a size 20 or a size 8!

When I'm a size 8 and complain of the cold people suggest I need some more meat on my bones! Or even worse "You're Scottish you should be used the cold!" Grrrrr

No you fucking numpties it's because I'm just a person who is always cold!

I couldn't wait for the menopause so I would get hot flushes! But no I was one of the rare women who got cold flashes!

So no OP I don't think it's passive aggressive but it IS rude! And annoying as hell.

This. ^ Sounds like @TheGreatIndoors is projecting.

Not sure about the pass agg aspect, but exactly how hot is it in the office without the fan? Measure the temperature and if it's outwith recommended working temps, get management to do something about it? Turning the heating down and getting the cold people to wear jumpers would be better than a fan blasting out cold air.

I do sympathise. I am thin but always hot and I hate it!

Stop trying to be a victim. No one is making a song and dance about this apart from you and your husband